[IAmOrangeToday]

Hey all

People with Fi are normally stereotyped as being very emotionally closed... but something @Bago said made me think about how in the last year I'm very open with my affections towards certain people in my life. Is it that I dont have Fi, or is it that Fi is misunderstood?

Fi is a system of experiencing emotions, not relating them. But that doesn't mean we can't be open about those emotions

Being more open about how I feel towards people has been a bit of problem, I've had two messes with friends who fell in love with me when I didn't reciprocate... but I also have the most incredible, deepest friends I've had at any point in my life.

I think then, the difference between expressing emotions for me and for people without Fi... is that I simply won't until I trust you. But once that gate is lifted... my soul pours out sometimes.

If you feel like someone is worth trusting... try it. You won't often be wrong.

And soon, without realising it, you're so used to showing the way you care for people you do it without realising it, and people finally understand and respect that part of you

Just try being more open with a few people you can trust, who would understand and accept how you feel, and see what happens

 

[milti]

To me, Fi is about feeling emotions very deeply, whether I express them or not. Sometimes I do, yes. But my feelings are very internal and personal to me. Many people don't understand why I "take things to heart" and "brood" over them (two things my Fe mom has pointed out).

People (even mere acquaintances) find it pretty obvious to tell what is on my mind (my face is no blank mask, lol) but only people who are very close to me know how deeply I can feel and how long it takes me to get over it.

 

[Mattylad]

I don't really trust anyone irl, which is the problem. My close friends, I really do not trust with this subject and they have failed to keep my past secrets which I have told them. Most people I have met have not been people I'd trust. I'm now very skeptical and alert to new people I meet, and I avoid expressing extreme emotion at first. I would like to be more open but my fears remain.

However I agree with the idea that Fi users aren't all emotionally closed.

 

[Bago]

Even family can indeed hurt you sometimes only because they want you to follow the path that they had followed.

I cried so much over so many things when push comes to shove. A lot of people may not know the things that I treasure so much and it means so much to me. I generally displace it onto "things" and not people. Maybe this is why I cried buckets, when my father threw away a beloved jigsaws of mine. Or when my mother gave my beloved Christmas present which I kept filed away in a closet and she gave it to my cousin because as an older child, I should share my gifts with them. I refused ! I remember crying buckets. I treasure a lot of the things which were given to me by people I loved. They mean so much. It sounds so materialistic, but sentiments is a big thing for me. I used to be able to see such items and feel the love inside of me, but now I cannot any more, and I do not know why... It's pretty bad actually. It really is.

I think getting rid of the fear is an important thing. Finding that happiness inside of ourselves is a big thing. I used to be so much more patient and wait til the person showed their love to me... in a way that I understood. It takes a little while to understand how it kind of works I think. Now, I am a clam. Brooding. Maybe one day a pearl will drop out.

I also realised why I liked my hometown and why I feel safe and comfortable. It is because it feels like a small village and people are nice, and it reminds me of my family. Under this kind of environment, I feel so much safer to be myself. I used to think that this is just normal until I went to other cities and realised how the atmosphere can also changes me or make me feel safe or not etc.

 

[Raain]

I found a great expression on this: Straight from the Heart: Introverted vs. Extraverted Feeling « Andrea J. Wenger: Write*with*Personality

Introverted feeling is more sentimental than extroverted feeling which is more expressive.

I am definitely much more sentimental I'll express my feelings in other ways like in that article for example where the INTJ kept the Christmas cards, because it obviously became a value thing to him, he valued that someone had taken effort to write him a card and thus attached personal feeling to that and didn't wish to throw the card out.

When I do express feelings even, I don't really throw it all out there either like a big bubbly extrovert might. I do it in a quiet perhaps nervous way and 'in my own language' where only my closest friends would probably really be able to understand my feelings, well it's only them I would confine my deepest emotional turmoil's with anyway and they would have to slowly and patiently drag it out of me also and put the puzzle together to eventually truly be able to understand the big picture of exactly how I am feeling.

I am really not emotionally open (as in expressive) at all though and I do not see a need to be so neither do I really want to be. I am not the touchy feely type that wears his heart on his sleeve, I introvert my feelings inwardly for the most part because to me they are very very personal.

I still care a lot about people and do wish to become very close with some people. I prefer to help individuals though rather than create 'good feelings' or 'good morale' in a group which is a more expressive Fe trait I think.

I suppose Fi is not well understood because it is something very difficult for Fi users to actually be able to explain because it in part involves us trying to explain how our feelings work to others, which isn't really something we do often.

 

[Typhon]

I dont really see Fi as emotional restraint, its dealing with feelings in a non-controlled manner, for lack of a better term. Fe, being a Je function is about getting answers from an authority external to oneself, in this case, regarding emotional expression. I imagine an Fe type would more likely than not seek answers about emotional expression with respect to social norms(?), whereas someone with Fi would try to deal with emotions all by themselves? Not sure, but it seems so. Im not saying someone with Fe is necessarily restrained(that is circumstantial, based on the social norms) whereas someone with Fi would deal with their emotions based on how their subconscious would call them to do? So yeah maybe Fi isnt about restraining emotions really, idk.

 

[Tad Cooper]

I find it almost impossible to open up about my feelings to anyone. I have a hard time admitting/explaining my emotions because they're too strong and can't be described with words or actions.

 

[Cross]

Hey all

People with Fi are normally stereotyped as being very emotionally closed... but something @Bago said made me think about how in the last year I'm very open with my affections towards certain people in my life. Is it that I dont have Fi, or is it that Fi is misunderstood?

Fi is a system of experiencing emotions, not relating them. But that doesn't mean we can't be open about those emotions

Being more open about how I feel towards people has been a bit of problem, I've had two messes with friends who fell in love with me when I didn't reciprocate... but I also have the most incredible, deepest friends I've had at any point in my life.

I think then, the difference between expressing emotions for me and for people without Fi... is that I simply won't until I trust you. But once that gate is lifted... my soul pours out sometimes.

If you feel like someone is worth trusting... try it. You won't often be wrong.

And soon, without realising it, you're so used to showing the way you care for people you do it without realising it, and people finally understand and respect that part of you

Just try being more open with a few people you can trust, who would understand and accept how you feel, and see what happens

Thanks! I don't think introverted Feeling is about keeping emotions inside all the time. I'm an INFJ, and just because I have extraverted feeling I wouldn't go around expressing stuff and art and myself. I can be very secertive if I want to be, and I am especially like this when I'm around a lot of people i don't know nor trust. Trust is also an issue. It's not that I'm an introverted feeler myself. I just feel more comfortable keeping everything about me away from other people who might abuse that information. I think the people who know most about me are those closest to me.