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I was friends for years with other types ending in P and I have to tell you, it was horrible. I finally wound up doing the patented door slam because every time we set a date to do anything they were late or broke it entirely.

Explaining that I felt they were important to me, and that their time was as dear as mine, I would never let them down like that and they sincerely apologized only to turn around and do it again the next time.

I think the J versus P divide is bigger than the E versus I, and need to know how I can advertise for ISFJs - is there a eTypeHarmony.com for friends? :laughing:

Care to share your type exploits? (And I'm not trying to slam other types, I read the Forum Rules.)

P.S. I tried to search and see if there was a thread about this and didn't find one. Also, trying to research through thousands of posts...yikes.
 
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so as much i believe in MBTI, i think it's best to go old school with friendships. talk to people, see who you get along with. spend time with them. see how it works out.

my best friend is an INFJ. we get along well, but we also do *not* stretch each other at all. deep conversations, and we give good support, but we do not challenge each other. there's no growth.

both of us were good friends with an ESFJ. according to mbti we shouldn't get along. but we do wonderfully.

other close friend ESTP. and a ESFP. all great people. they force me out into the real world. bars, parties, social functions. they aren't deep relationships for me, but they serve a huge purpose in my life.

i am still friends with an ENFJ from college. there's also an ENTJ that's taken a shine to me. and two ENTPs that i keep up with. these relationships have been depth in the N sense... i mean, we forward each other articles, and recommend movies to each other and what not.

come to think of it, I have a lot of extravert friends... hmm... interesting.

but I've never relied on MBTI to determine who im friends with. just find good people with good senses of humor.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
[/QUOTE]
but I've never relied on MBTI to determine who im friends with. just find good people with good senses of humor.[/QUOTE]

I completely support your point of view, but I'm the opposite of you in this matter. I was married to an ESTJ and it ended (infidelity), so I'm going in the opposite direction in the future to try something new. Subtly, that is.
 
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I think we have to remember that J vs. P is a spectrum. Some of us are more J or more P than others. One of my friends now is a P. It drives me nuts when she's late, but what I've learned is that she doesn't mean it to upset me. However, I sat her down once and explained that spending quality time together is important to me, and when she is late, that takes away from the amount of time we have to spend with one another. That didn't completely change things, but she does make more of an effort to be on time now. Yet in a similar situation with another P friend, my talk went in one ear and out the other, and I was told I'm being "too sensitive" and take it "too personally" when she cancels on our plans. Guess which one I no longer make plans with?

I guess what I'm saying is that it depends on the person and how far they fall to one end or the other of the spectrum, as well as how much they value you and your feelings.
 

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so as much i believe in MBTI, i think it's best to go old school with friendships. talk to people, see who you get along with. spend time with them. see how it works out.

my best friend is an INFJ. we get along well, but we also do *not* stretch each other at all. deep conversations, and we give good support, but we do not challenge each other. there's no growth.

both of us were good friends with an ESFJ. according to mbti we shouldn't get along. but we do wonderfully.

other close friend ESTP. and a ESFP. all great people. they force me out into the real world. bars, parties, social functions. they aren't deep relationships for me, but they serve a huge purpose in my life.

i am still friends with an ENFJ from college. there's also an ENTJ that's taken a shine to me. and two ENTPs that i keep up with. these relationships have been depth in the N sense... i mean, we forward each other articles, and recommend movies to each other and what not.

come to think of it, I have a lot of extravert friends... hmm... interesting.

but I've never relied on MBTI to determine who im friends with. just find good people with good senses of humor.
SarahWilliams, your responses are always so wise and pragmatic!
 

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Being a P, I can understand when people are late. I'm late a lot of the times but only if I know it doesn't bug anyone. Cancelling at the last minute consistently is just unacceptable to me. I believe in keeping your word and having some decency in following through. When I tell people I will meet them for something, I am there. Period. I personally think that our culture here let's us slack off and not consider other people. Someone recently told me that in Czech Republic, it's quite the opposite. Over there, not showing up or not getting back to someone, no matter how small, is a slap in the face. The culture over there highly stresses on keeping your word in daily matters.
 

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Well, my best friends are ENTP, INTJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, and INFP. I love an INTP.
I also am friends with ENFPs, INFJs, ESTPs, ESFJs, ISTJs, ISTPs, and ESTJs.
The only problem is that my ESTx friends can get a little too rough, but over all, the only people I have problems with are ISFPs and ESFPs. (I have friends that are but we are not very close.)
That is merely emotional conflict, because frankly they sometimes get upset over events that escape my notice entirely so I know they are emotional but I never find out why until it is too late. -.-

As for ENTJs, I only know of one for sure and he is my Chorus teacher... he is like a father to me so I don't really think that counts.

We've rarely had conflicts with P vs J or E vs I. As wonderfully vague as that sounds. The only thing that has ever really arisen is when debates between S and N go too far and get personal.
(Mostly about religion)
 

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ESTJs are classed as conflictors for INFJs. I noticed we very frequently do not see things eye to eye. In relations where we don't have to work closely it's ok, but I can't imagine trying to make this work in an intimate relationship or much closer work relations. I can possibly marry an ESTJ if I find the right kind but I can imagine the communication between us will be rather strained and things we value in life tend to be quite opposite. The ESTJ that is working in my group at work I clashed with several times after which it seems both of us decided to give the other space and try to avoid interaction besides just whatever is required to get things done.

If you're wondering what relationships and friendships are predicted to be attractive for the INFJ by the theory these are ENFP, ENTP, ESFP, INTP, ISTP, ESTP, and ISFP. I also get along with INTJs, ENFJs, ESFJs, and ISFJs. The two types that don't really inspire me in any way to get to know them closer are ESTJ and ISTJ. I appreciate their loyalty and work ethic but we just don't mesh well on any deeper level.

I've been in a relationship with an ENTP which was overall a positive experience for me and had a short-term fling with an ESFP. Was attracted to anther ESFP guy recently who is just a bit over 30. He seems to take to my Ni very well. Younger Se-dominants (<25) can seem rather shallow, very kind of surface oriented. Like Sarah says they do make you get out and appreciate the moment more. They are doers and they activate that part of INFJ that wants to do things instead of constantly contemplating about them. I find them rather easy to be with, especially ESFPs, as having a perceiving function as dominant rather than judging one they go with the flow and are generally nice to people. ESTPs are more 'prickly' and self-centered due to their Ti. I don't take well to those that have very strong Ti and lack in Fe.

ENFJs are basically more extraverted versions of ourselves. But it is clear that Fe for them is a dominant 'lens' through which they see the world and that their Ni turns on sporadically. For me it is the opposite - Ni is the process that is always going on in my mind and Fe is that creative function that I utilize sometimes when needed. One of my role models in life turned out to be an ENFJ and another has been my best friend, but since we moved apart we sort of lost contract (she is more extraverted type and not very good at keeping in touch via email or phone). I have known ESFJs only on acquaintance basis. What typically occurs is that we are mutually validating and supportive of each other, but can't give each other useful advice. The advice that the ESFJ gives to me doesn't sound very helpful and not really what I am looking for. Same it true vice versa. They don't really take to advice that I give them. I get a feeling that they appreciate that I'm trying to help them but they cannot use the information I'm trying to share with them.

From INTJs I may develop a feeling that they are too critical and selfish, however, I think I tend to judge them too harshly initially because of my own somewhat rocky relationship with my INTJ father so my view of them may be biased. Whenever I see some less than admirable traits in them this automatically brings up memories of how he behaves sometimes. However there is also a sense of understanding of each other on some very deep level. I think if INFJ understands INTJs TeFi functions more and INTJ does same for the INFJ then relations can be lasting and meaningful and free of conflict.

ISFPs are initially attractive but I don't get along with them too well. May be I've known some sort of imbalanced ones. Eventually I develop a feeling that they are incredibly subjective. They tend to find me boring, unless they need something out of me, so then I develop a perception that they are selfish and don't want to build any deeper friendship with them. I get long with INFPs much better as Ne somehow smooths out the dominant Fi and makes its expressions somehow much more appealing in my eyes. One of my best friends is INFP. Aldous Huxley, also an INFP, is one of my favorite authors.

ISTPs and INTPs are apparently the type that has escaped me until recently so I'm just getting to know them better.
 
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