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Discussion Starter #1
Are you always genuinely happy for other people when something good happens to them? What does that look like? Does your happiness apply to everyone or just a selective few?

For me, it seems like it depends on how many other people are happy for that person. Lol. Like, is my happiness for them needed or do they already have that covered? Sounds terrible, I know. But, I do think that is what goes through my mind.
 

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It makes me even more cynical, if anything.
 

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Like, is my happiness for them needed or do they already have that covered?
Can you elaborate or give an example? Because I didn't understand :laughing:
You mean like outward expressions of happiness for them? Or..?

To the OQ (original questions xD) I would say that 99% of the time yes I am completely happy for a person when something good/great happens to them. It's my automatic response.
Then every few years I come across a person that I hate, literally years, doesn't happen often at all. And when I have such a person in my life, whenever something good happens to them, I have this visceral reaction of "Oh no nonono fuuuuuck! I want them to suffer!" and I just bathe in anger waters. But since I can't hold on to anger for long, I soon realise that I feel sick when I'm angry and that it's completely stupid and it's not serving me in any way, so I drop it. But yeah I do have those moments of Nooooo wtf please suffer!!!

What does that look like?
Doesn't look like anything xD Because I don't express emotions outwardly. Much less to friends, parents or coworkers. If they tell me the good thing that happened, I'll just smile, or say a monosyllable "Good!" but in actuality I'm super happy inside for them. There's a mismatch between what I feel/think and what gets expressed.
If it's someone that I am usually childlike with -and this person is only my sister- I express a lot more.

Does your happiness apply to everyone or just a selective few?
Everyone (except the select few that I hate). I like watching tv shows like.. I don't know.. the UK Supernanny, or Ellen, or whatever, and good things happen to people, like they get money, or they have a breakthrough with their children, or whatever, and I literally cry and I'm sooooo happy for them. Obvsly I also feel this way about "real" people, not just tv lol.

I think my happiness reaction has 2-3 reasons, but I haven't looked into it much, only now that you made the thread.
One reason is self-absorbed, because these situations always make me think "Oh! How cool that someone else got their wish fulfilled. It means that my wishes can come true as well". So it's like it gives me hope for my own life.
The other reason is that these situations since they make me feel genuinely happy for someone else's fortune, it sends me into an upward spiral to the connectedness of the Universe and everyone and everything in it, and this happiness make me feel connected to a bigger picture, like "wow it's incredible that I can feel so happy about something completely unrelated to me that doesn't benefit me in any way.. is this my soul that feels? or is it my brain? gods, what is all this, tell me..." and I get lost in the stars tbh xD It's that feeling that dogs give me, where I just feel happy when they're happy, for no reason, I don't benefit. So if I don't benefit... why do I feel so good about this?
 

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As long i'm not envious (and i'm often envious) or my own interests doesn't conflict with theirs, i will be happy for them. However, i have the tendency to share more complaints, and be angry when they're not happy, and do anything about it. I choose the side of the underdog, the ones that actually in trouble, not the ones that are already happy. It's my job to turn the tides, to give people new hope and to give people happiness.
 

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Are you always genuinely happy for other people when something good happens to them? What does that look like? Does your happiness apply to everyone or just a selective few?

For me, it seems like it depends on how many other people are happy for that person. Lol. Like, is my happiness for them needed or do they already have that covered? Sounds terrible, I know. But, I do think that is what goes through my mind.
Damn, exact same for me.....o.0 creepy.
 

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I think sometimes, I'm both happy and sad about it. Like, if I have a friend who gets married, I'm so happy for both of them. It really makes me smile. Also though, it makes me a little sad, because I really want that for myself, as well. But, it also gives me hope, because I know it's possible :)

Basically, when people get or achieve something I want to do/be, then I have a complicated set of emotions.

With the happiness, I try to share it.
With the sadness, I try to use it for reflection and maybe try to do better.

:)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
@entheos -

Oh man, I don't even know. It just popped into my head, but hmm. I'm sure it depends on my relationship with that person. But, if it is someone acquaintance-y (the category of most people in my life - let's be honest), the happiness feels like a lot of effort. Lol. For example, someone (coworker or distant pal) having a baby. My reaction is more like, "Cool." I say, "I am so happy for you!" if I have to and they seem happy, but inside, I don't really think I care that much. I figure there will be tons of other people who will rejoice with you.

HOWEVER, there are totally exceptions. Like, if the person has been trying to have kids forever and has been really sad about it, and I feel they are the underdog in life, then I AM actually happy for them. Like, I guess I'm only happy if I think you deserve it. Or, if your life is a struggle. HAHA. Or like I said, you NEED my happiness because no one else (except me) will TRULY understand that you have been trying forever and this has been hard for you.

I probably WOULD be happy if something good happened to any of you INFPs because I feel like we have such a hard time in life and we deserve a break. Lol.
 

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I think thats just typical Enneagram 4 stuff... as an Fi-dom you are actually extremely capable of truly feeling for someone, its just this twisted sense of authenticity of E4 that makes you think you're envious and not glad.
 

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1) Are you always genuinely happy for other people when something good happens to them?
Barring context, yes.
2) What does that look like? Varies. If it's someone close to me, I will celebrate with them and share in their emotion, no problem. If we aren't that close, it'll be anything from a nod of acknowledgement to a hearty congratulations. That's all.
3) Does your happiness apply to everyone or just a selective few? Everyone, I suppose. If I know them enough to the point that I express any emotion with them, then they'll get it. I don't know much that says, but some people just get polite and even-keeled versions of me.

For me, it seems like it depends on how many other people are happy for that person. Lol. Like, is my happiness for them needed or do they already have that covered? Sounds terrible, I know. But, I do think that is what goes through my mind.
I'm fairly happy most days so I don't really have trouble expressing it. It doesn't run out so I don't feel the need to hold back. My level of excitability is a different story because that depends on a lot of things, but I can be happy for others without much else.
 
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Are you always genuinely happy for other people when something good happens to them? What does that look like? Does your happiness apply to everyone or just a selective few?
yes I am genuinely happy, and it applies to anyone. It may only be a faint feeling when it's not people I'm close with but it makes me happy to see happiness in the world.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
yes I am genuinely happy, and it applies to anyone. It may only be a faint feeling when it's not people I'm close with but it makes me happy to see happiness in the world.
You are most healthy! I hope I can be that way one day in such fullness. :peach:
 

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Yeah, like you, I'd say I have to know the struggle the person had to go through to get to that happiness. Then I'd actually feel happy for them. It doesn't really matter if I know them personally or not, I just have to know their story. If someone were to just tell me they're happy for x reason I'd tell them that I'm happy for them, but on the inside it would just be a shrug and maybe jealousy depending on what it is.
 

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It's basically the same for me. Something about knowing more about someone just helps me empathize more. It's probably why I sometimes have more empathy for fictional characters than real people lol...I often know more about them because the author or the storyline reveals more than most people would tell me in real life.
 
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Discussion Starter #15
It's basically the same for me. Something about knowing more about someone just helps me empathize more. It's probably why I sometimes have more empathy for fictional characters than real people lol...I often know more about them because the author or the storyline reveals more than most people would tell me in real life.
This interesting, yes. I think I sometimes feel more for fictional characters too... lol. So weird. I think it may also have to do with them not asking me for anything. When people are happy, they are often asking me to validate or share in their happiness.
 
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This interesting, yes. I think I sometimes feel more for fictional characters too... lol. So weird. I think it may also have to do with them not asking me for anything. When people are happy, they are often asking me to validate or share in their happiness.
That's interesting...yeah, that may be part of it for me as well. It's funny – I don't have anything against validating or sharing their happiness, but it feels burdensome if I know they want me to, because then I'm wondering if I'm saying the right thing, or if I'm actually expressing any happiness since I'm so shy that it can be really hard to show that I'm happy for them even if I genuinely am.

By the way I love your signature...SO true for me too :laughing:
 
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