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Discussion Starter #1
I'm sure you guys have felt this way, too. But how do you cope? I feel so taken for granted where I work. I suppose things will be better YEARS later - when people realize 1) how hard you worked, 2) how good the quality of your work was, and 3) when you succeed years later and they realize what a fool they were.

I've been having NIGHTMARES because of where i work. I feel so powerless and vulnerable and sense a general lack of control. No matter how hard I work, things aren't turning out well, and I constantly feel like I'm being taken granted for the work I am doing. Things don't turn out well cause it's a group effort, and your strongest point is your weakest link, so that one or two people screwing up, brings everyone down. And when I do produce the good outcomes, i feel like I'm being taken granted for and people get used to me doing everything for them. I found a new job (since im relocating) so I'm only here for two more months , but i want to leave with a positive, successful project. I dont know how to cope with this though.
 

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i think its important for infjs to learn to be patient. Patience is something that i do not have at all, so its hard for me to realize that eventually my time will come to triumph. You just have to hold out and then people will see the greatness of your work when your day comes.
 

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I'm sure you guys have felt this way, too. But how do you cope? I feel so taken for granted where I work. I suppose things will be better YEARS later - when people realize 1) how hard you worked, 2) how good the quality of your work was, and 3) when you succeed years later and they realize what a fool they were.

I've been having NIGHTMARES because of where i work. I feel so powerless and vulnerable and sense a general lack of control. No matter how hard I work, things aren't turning out well, and I constantly feel like I'm being taken granted for the work I am doing. Things don't turn out well cause it's a group effort, and your strongest point is your weakest link, so that one or two people screwing up, brings everyone down. And when I do produce the good outcomes, i feel like I'm being taken granted for and people get used to me doing everything for them. I found a new job (since im relocating) so I'm only here for two more months , but i want to leave with a positive, successful project. I dont know how to cope with this though.

I've always hated that about group projects. It seems like I'm usually the one who ends up doing all the work.

I am not sure if I agree with your first paragraph. I think these people are probably too concerned with themselves to think about you years later.

Good luck with your new job. Maybe you will like it better. :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
my time will come to triumph. You just have to hold out and then people will see the greatness of your work when your day comes.
Seriously, I think PerC should have a button that automatically says "get out of my head." I've had so many times on here, where someone says something exactly on my mind. But yes calisoldier, i know my time will come for me to shine. Ive been holding out and holding out, but i feel like "my day" keeps getting deferred, which makes me disheartened. maybe i just need some encouragement? :happy:

and Dave, youre right. these people are probably too concerned with their lives to think about me years later, but think about the satisfaction years later having that day where you are finally able to triumph? :crazy:
 

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Seriously, I think PerC should have a button that automatically says "get out of my head." I've had so many times on here, where someone says something exactly on my mind. But yes calisoldier, i know my time will come for me to shine. Ive been holding out and holding out, but i feel like "my day" keeps getting deferred, which makes me disheartened. maybe i just need some encouragement? :happy:

and Dave, youre right. these people are probably too concerned with their lives to think about me years later, but think about the satisfaction years later having that day where you are finally able to triumph? :crazy:
Your day will come, but it will have nothing to do with these people. They will just be memories.
 

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Do you feel that you are being taken for granted by your boss or your co-workers? (or both I guess).

As you're leaving this following might not be so relevant but it may help others in a similar situation. As a management coach I often see the other side of this kind of situation so I will offer this up.

Managers don't value hard work - they value results - period. I differentiate between caring and valuing They may care about someone who is working hard and if you are lucky may have some empathy for that person but that is different from valuing. A really good boss values results and wants the best for the people as well (caring about the people delivers long term as retention rates are often higher)


If you are in a situation where you are uncertain if what you are doing is measuring up or you feel that your view of the world is different from your boss (e.g. not valued) than perhaps requesting a review is in order. Force it out into the open. But do it in a constructive, structured way. A decent manager should be doing reviews on a regular basis anyway (I worked on a meeting at least every month and a more formal review of achievement/objectives every qtr). But I have come across a scary proportion of managers who see a review as something that needs to be trotted out when the annual pay round comes :angry:

Be very factual in your approach in terms of your value - what have you delivered to the org that demonstrated your value. If you have numbers or metrics now is the time to trot them out. INFJs sometimes don't like detail - now is the time to get to like it! Curious mentions the quality of work - do you have facts to back that up? Low number of revisions or returns? I know this sounds hard nosed but you don't have to do it very often

Use your skills to think about what your boss needs (type them if you can) and work to that. Think about your comms style and adapt to your manager's. Bit manipulative? Hell Yeah! But if your values are sound then it's just trying to make it easier for your boss to understand you. Besides INFJs need to use their skills! - and we need some breaks :wink:

Team dynamics are a tricky problem as you probably don't want to stomp on your co-workers or even give that impression. Again go in positive and constructive - don't winge and moan to your boss. Do you have ideas that could help build greater teamwork?

If there is a team member who you feels works as hard as you (and is also not appreciated) go out of your way to praise that person and raise that person's profile a bit (obviously don't do this for the obnoxious idiots!) to the boss - it's surpising how often that is recipricated. Sometimes in saying "Bob is doing a great job here" you get a reply about yourself too! Be the change you want to see if you want to be appreciated go out of your way to appreciate others.

In terms of the obnoxious idiots - is it clear from the facts who is not pulling their weight? If it's more a question of people missing deadlines or not doing the work are the actions and tasks clearly laid out? Is it clear who should do exactly what by when?

I don't know if this helps - there are no right or wrong answers but my experience is that feelings that fester and don't get addressed in the workplace can be pretty damaging
 

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Curious - I think some of this has carried over into your Koi dream..
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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Discussion Starter #8
by my coworkers i mean - i see what ur saying about results though because thats something i differentiate between too. i have coworkers that put in flimsy work and obviously dont get the results we need, which is why i find myself having to compensate for their work. right now, im sort of directing a project on my own.

i dont want to come off as whining or putting down my coworkers to the Committee i report to. but i really feel like im being taken granted for in that the committee doesn't know how much work im doing and how if it weren't for me, we wouldn't be getting any results. serously, things are so hard right now, and the bare minimum we have is because im spending all my time raking in results that people are screwing up on so i have to redo it, with actual results. people think they can get by, with putting in the minimum, but life doesnt work that way. i seriously just want to quit right now, but maybe i have too much pride to do that. i still feel like ineed to complete this project at least.
 

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Remember: You are responsible only for your own decisions and actions. If things don't work out because of others, then that is not your fault.

At work, others will always judge you based on results, but as for yourself, NEVER judge yourself based on anything but your efforts. At least if others take you for granted, you shouldn't.

Take a step back, learn to let go, and don't cover up for other people not doing their part.
 
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I had nightmares about doing tech support calls with people. I'd wake up shouting things like "No ma'am, I can't help you install that printer!"

Since losing the job I've been haunted by extremely vivid dreams where I re-experience tramautic times in my life-- for instance, last night I dreamed about all the times my mum's first boyfriend called me ungrateful and spoiled rotten, and took all my things away.

Considering that was the only 'rest' I had out of a full two-hour's sleep, I'd much rather be dreaming about taking tech support calls again.

I can't really offer you any advice considering I'm probably stuck in the same rut. Sorry if I'm useless.
 

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For myself I realize after working for a couple years (unfortunately out of work now) after school that I have to watch my feelings in the work place. I felt like I was being taken for granted before because I thought "If I was a manager I would notice that my employee is a good employee and would say something to them, I would encourage them". But it's really a case by case basis, and my guess is that for me in the finance field, this will be the norm.

I cannot expect people to be my "fan" whether it's the boss or co worker. I have to be my own fan. And I have to be more verbal in talking about what I've accomplished. Unless you have an amazing manager on your side, you have to root/speak for yourself.

My guess is it is hard for us, we care about what other people think and because of that we think that they should care about us. But not everyone works this way. I know I must be careful to be honest with myself in my successes ( take credit!!!!!!!!!!!) and with things that do not go well (if it's your fault don't be too hard on yourself and learn from it. if it's not your fault... DON"T BLAME YOURSELF).

These are probably the most important things I've learned for myself regarding work since graduating a little over 2 yrs ago.
 
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