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Discussion Starter #1
how does it make you feel when people demand or forcefully take photos of you?
has your attitude changed?

same question to taking them by yourself.

me:

question a:
before age 8 i lusted to be taken photos of, i was so super charming.

until i got humiliated, after which i started hating myself so badly that whenever someone would take a photo of me, i would be boiling with suppressed anger like a volcano.

my self hatred seethed so strongly from me after that age that no one ever talked to me, and if they did, they did not talk to the me me but their idea of me, in which case i didnt care so i dont even remember talking to anyone but my father and best friend between the years 8 and 16. i also thought everyone were brainless pigs so i couldnt bother to talk with pigs, and even with those two i wouldnt talk of what i wanted to talk of since everyone was a pig.

it still disappoints me greatly that when i allow myself those rare moments that i feel things, no one notices. (maybe its just forums. the whole words being only 5% of communication thing.)
or that if they do notice, they see it as somehting else than what it is.



question b:

i like taking them myself, so i have complete control, thus i make it what i want it to be. like this one:

UGHF, i tried putting it here, all options, thirthy minutes wasted, whatever.

(why do they have to have image address link copy blocks on every forums? and for some nice reason, its not possible to navigate in the file select to the location of my image, neither is it possible to copy paste the location. ughf, technology sucks.)

but anyways, put some images if you dare and care, too.


(ok here finally, placed it on desktop to upload it here. im clearly using my 4w3 in that image, which i was operating on for some years, but think it could be misleading to use as avatar if im not a 4w3 primary.)

The_Reaper (115x145).jpg
 

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I really hate having my picture taken. I hate seeing myself in pictures, usually, to the point it's truly painful. I used to get SO ANGRY at anyone who took my picture without permission, or pressured me into it. I would seethe as well.

I still do hate it and feel some anger and resentment when it happens. It is worth noting that I have BDD. But I try to let it go now. Because:

1. It really doesn't matter. If I'm truly as ugly as I look in pictures, then it's not a secret and everyone already knows it and they won't be analyzing the photo nearly as much as I do. If I'm NOT as ugly as I look in pictures, then people also already know that too.
2. I do like having the memories, time is flying and I wish I had more of my life documented in photo form
3. I am just so damn tired of suffering from the self-loathing and tumultuous attachment to an idealized self-image that I will never achieve. I need to accept who I am now (ha. ha. ha. very funny).
4. Vanity is a highly unattractive quality to me and I don't want to be that kind of person. I also do not want others to see me as that kind of person...
 
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I HATE having my picture taken. I have always been that way. When I was a child I hid from anyone who tried to take my picture. If someone wants to take my picture now, and I don't want them to, I simply tell them NO. I have posted my photo a few times here but I felt very self-conscious after I did that and I removed the photo...I keep that in a private album now.
 

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I don't like looking at my own pictures, so I don't like to have them taken. There are almost no pictures of me on my Facebook account. But like spectralsorrow, I also feel that life is passing by and there isn't enough visual documentation of me. When I'm old, I may have very little to share with others when they look at photos from the past.

I dislike how I look in my pictures, but I think I'm not so bad looking. My own perception gets distorted when I see my pictures, and also perhaps I'm not photogenic.
 
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But like spectralsorrow, I also feel that life is passing by and there isn't enough visual documentation of me. When I'm old, I may have very little to share with others when they look at photos from the past.

I dislike how I look in my pictures, but I think I'm not so bad looking. My own perception gets distorted when I see my pictures, and also perhaps I'm not photogenic.
I can relate. I will not have much for photos to leave behind for others... and I know I am not photogenic.
 

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I only have one photo of myself that I consider sincerely becoming.

But I think we are unreasonably critical of our own likeness in photos. My wife detests what I consider to be my best photo of her. Of that photo, she complains that her nose is ridiculously ugly, and her body shape ungainly due to the angle at which it was taken. To me her shape and nose never looked better.

I do the same thing. I can find flaws with myself in every photo taken of me. "My god, I look SO FAT! What the hell is going on with those dark circles under my eyes? Look at how thin and out of proportion my arms are!" Etc. Etc. Etc.

Strangely, I don't see these things when I look in the mirror. 8 times out of 10, I just think, "Eh, I look fine."

I deal with my dislike of being in front of the camera by being the person behind the camera.
 

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I act silly for all pictures. I dislike the idea of trying to preserve a specific moment just for memories later on. Live in the moment. No permanence. That means silly photos that ruin their expectations. :)
 

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This is a big one for me. At one point I tried to erase all photographic evidence of my existence from the internet. I HATE having my photo taken. Mostly because I walk around in the world not feeling ugly (or visible, really) and looking at photos reminds me of how awful i truly look. it's depressing. i do feel bad about having so few photos of myself and other people when i get sentimental about the past. I was a nightmare to the photographers at my own wedding and couldn't look at the photos for an entire year after because i was convinced i looked fat. Occasionally there is a good photo of me (like my profile photo) and i use it for everything.
I wish i wasn't like this- but i think it's part of the self-injury aspect of being a 4. I get in these moods and delete everything or burn photos or make people take them down.
 
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