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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So at the weekend I got off with a friend who is currently in a 3 year relationship...

The day after he told me that he'd been wanting to do that with me for years and can't stop thinking about me, but that he doesn't know how to end it with his girlfriend. I'm cool with that, and didn't expect him to. He asked if we could make this a regular thing, and to my surprise, I was completely up for it.

This is a really weird thing for me because I've been so against it when people in relationships have hit on me in the past. I told another friend and he had a massive go at me for it, he said "you're only into this because he has a girlfriend", and when I denied it he said "no, this is so you. You just want to do things for the risk."

I also find myself really reevaluating myself and the choices that I make, because I always considered myself to be considerate and pretty strong on my morals, but given this choice it really shows how selfish I am, and how poor I am at making the "right" decisions.

What's everyone elses thoughts? Has anybody got any experiences with being with someone in a relationship? Do you think you can be "the other woman" and still be a good person?
 

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I think him saying not to know how to end things with the girlfriend is just an excuse, or at best, a remark that he is indecisive and not willing to work on problem areas.Being the other woman can hurt your ego. You may end up feeling that he uses you to add some spice to his love life; for some unsatisfied needs without losing his other option.
 

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So at the weekend I got off with a friend who is currently in a 3 year relationship...
Thats pretty stupid tbh

The day after he told me that he'd been wanting to do that with me for years and can't stop thinking about me, but that he doesn't know how to end it with his girlfriend. I'm cool with that, and didn't expect him to. He asked if we could make this a regular thing, and to my surprise, I was completely up for it.
Good to know that youre apparently just an observer and have no control over your actions.

This is a really weird thing for me because I've been so against it when people in relationships have hit on me in the past. I told another friend and he had a massive go at me for it, he said "you're only into this because he has a girlfriend", and when I denied it he said "no, this is so you. You just want to do things for the risk."
I would call you out on this bullshit as well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I also find myself really reevaluating myself and the choices that I make, because I always considered myself to be considerate and pretty strong on my morals, but given this choice it really shows how selfish I am, and how poor I am at making the "right" decisions.
Thats called self awareness

What's everyone elses thoughts? Has anybody got any experiences with being with someone in a relationship? Do you think you can be "the other woman" and still be a good person?
I cant think of any circumstance where you could essentially cheat and not make that conscious choice to cheat so no, you cant be a good person and cheat on/with someone.
 

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I see this as simply a symptom of the zeitgeist.

I know girls and guys in your type of situation, and in different kinds of combinations of sorts. Emotions are things that you essentially can't control, but you can decide how you act upon them. You know how you feel, but it's up to you with what you do with those emotions.

I'll be blunt, if you want to be this guy's side chick, that's on you. Just know that, that there's another girl in his life as well. The thrill of lust dries up fairly quickly, and it's often replaced by legitimate romance. So if you do start developing feelings, it will likely get really messy.

My advice is, do what you want because emotions are pretty hard to ignore, but be prepared for the consequences.
 
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Cheating once out of circumstance and passion with someone you have a crush on is different than wanting to strategically continue it behind your partner's back. He is being very shitty in doing so and even though it's firstly his responsibility to not hurt his partner, it does extend to you. He has no obligation to stay in that relationship, he's not married or has children so he's only doing it out of selfishness as he doesn't want to lose whatever he has with her and wants to enjoy himself with you behind her back.

I've never been cheated on but I can imagine it's a very traumatic thing, because it shakes your trust in men and yourself, you think you know someone and you think you had a good relationship but it turned out to be a lie and that could cause trust issues and anxiety in future relationships. I wouldn't want another person to suffer like that because of me even though it would not be primarily my responsibility.
 

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It is first important [you understand], and the male especially, what you are, to prevent being scammed/exploited/heartbroken by (X)-male for "free", before indulging in such an affair, it is important you set rules - you are [not] the other woman - you are the other vaginal cavity in which, [is much better] than the original female-humanoid(s) vaginal cavity. I am reckon you do not wish to just be a "cum-dump," when he is bored.

You are only the "other woman," if and only if, you can substantially deprive him of sexual-coitus while recieving [side-investiments] via (e.g., non-coital/sexual activities + Mistress Monday's™ (specials), one girlfriend exclusive (activity can be earned as apart of the special) - which usually entail more quality items, activities, and other unsolicited/discreet investiments than the current SO, and other resourceful access.

Thus, sinking his phallus into your [much tighter, wetter, responsive] cavity - then sleeping comfortably on the tit of his marvelous wholesome (sexually) bland sac' of spoiling estrogren at home is the best of both world(s).


Mistress Monday's should include the following ::

(A) - Compensation(s) for any [drama / trauma / unnecessarily threats] that may occur during the affair.

(B) - Weekly (dining, dates, activities) of your choice.

(C) - Sufficient aftercare (1 hr of quality time after ea. coital session). Quality time separate from coital session(s) at least once per. week.


Mistress Duties/Contract responsibilities deal should include the following ::


(D) - Daily aesthetic maintanence - [to his desires]


(E) - Coitus and/or other [preferential thing he wishes to do].


(F) - Under no circumstances is the mistress allowed to disclose any of his (personal / private information shared to the girlfriend / family - et al - at any time without his consultation).


(G) - Under no circumstances is the mistress allowed to [contact] "the other woman," without consulting.





Mistress Contract Details ::


Under no obligation is the Mistress bound by monogamy / relationship and/or (exclusivity) to said male.


Under no circumstances is the Mistress responsible to attend to, participate in, exlcusivity or monogamy to said male.


Under no obligation is the Mistress reliable for any (damages to objects, subjects, and/or relationship(s), domestic disputes, emotional problems, break-ups, violence / and any other malfunction(s) done by said participants, & et al) during such affair.


Under no circumstances is he allowed to disclose the following (personal / familial / private information/data) to any S.O., under the circumstance that such affair is terminated.


Under no circumstances is the S.O., allowed to contact said mistress upon (discovery and/or termination) of affair unless (X)-S.O., is under negotitation contract (re: Poly / multi-partner / swinging).


The mistress is under no obligation to supply (coitus / sex) if she so does not choose - he is allowed to address this by leeway of [contract deals].


The mistress is under no obligation to disclose (personal information / familial / private information/data) to the participant for security / safety concerns / identity protection.


The mistress will be compensatied for damages to any (personal belongings / propery damage / health and/or damages) should any occur upon termination by either S.O., or the (male) himself.


The mistress is under no obligation to comply with (X)-demands that result in (threats to health / security / well-being).


The mistress can terminate (X)-contract at any period - and is under 0 obligation to elaborate.


Under no obligations is the mistress obligated to "fall in love,".

Upon his agreement to such a contract; he takes the sole reponsibility for his relationship, damages done, and/or other malfunction(s) to occur during his breakage of his monogamous deal with his girlfriend, the Mistress is [not bond by monogamy and/or exclusivity], thus responsibility other than pragmatic personality responsibility to protect herself is allivated.

_________


Failure to comply with (A, B, C) results in termination of (X)-affair.


Failure to obide by the following contract details results in termination of (X)-affair.


Breaching by the (S.O., partner) or any relation to him (family membes / "friends") and so forth, breach the contract and thus, will result in termination of the affair & legal interference/action if necessary.


Com.
 

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I am not [encouraging] this; per se. I just dislike when thing(s) are not particularly planned. Careless. Sloppy-looking.

For example, If (X)-humanoid wishes to be a cum-dump; it is necessary she is, at minimum, a (somewhat) intelligent-poshy cum dump, indeed.

I always say to such female-humanoid(s), make sure to wipe your mouth afterward, darling. Cum can be rather messy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for the comments guys, a few of you have mentioned about his motives for staying in his relationship and it's probably worth mentioning that he's been trying to leave her for the past few years but it always gets messy.

Whenever he's tried breaking up with her she threatens to kill herself, I've told him (even before this happened between us) she's just trying to manipulate him into staying, but he always says "I just don't know how I'd live with it if she actually did it". Another occasion he broke up with her and she got drunk and claimed that she'd been raped and that it was his fault, as he made her vulnerable due to their break up (although he doesn't believe that actually happened), so they ended up getting back together as he said "she's dangerous to herself unless I'm there to stop it".

There's also been another occasion where he's cheated on her, so their relationship has been a mess for a long time. The other day he said that he thought we would make a better couple, but I replied that if one of us starts developing feelings for the other whilst he's in a relationship then we should call it off, as we don't want to make it any more complicated.

I'm not expecting him to leave her and I'm not expecting anything else out of it. I still don't really know why I agreed to it. In the past I've been so against things like this, but I guess this time I don't really feel like I owe his girlfriend anything given how she's treated him, if that makes sense?
 

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Thanks for the comments guys, a few of you have mentioned about his motives for staying in his relationship and it's probably worth mentioning that he's been trying to leave her for the past few years but it always gets messy.

Whenever he's tried breaking up with her she threatens to kill herself, I've told him (even before this happened between us) she's just trying to manipulate him into staying, but he always says "I just don't know how I'd live with it if she actually did it". Another occasion he broke up with her and she got drunk and claimed that she'd been raped and that it was his fault, as he made her vulnerable due to their break up (although he doesn't believe that actually happened), so they ended up getting back together as he said "she's dangerous to herself unless I'm there to stop it".

There's also been another occasion where he's cheated on her, so their relationship has been a mess for a long time. The other day he said that he thought we would make a better couple, but I replied that if one of us starts developing feelings for the other whilst he's in a relationship then we should call it off, as we don't want to make it any more complicated.

I'm not expecting him to leave her and I'm not expecting anything else out of it. I still don't really know why I agreed to it. In the past I've been so against things like this, but I guess this time I don't really feel like I owe his girlfriend anything given how she's treated him, if that makes sense?
well that kinda changes things
he needs to leave her regardless what happens, maybe tell as many people as possible before
maybe try to get help from a therapist on how to deal with this cause it's crazy stuff
she keeps him imprisoned and he needs to take charge of his life and his choices
 

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I've lived for a long time, and I've seen various forms of sexual morals come and go. I've also seen and done a lot of things.

Nowadays, I figure if you're honest and aren't hurting anyone, you might as well do what you want. I think this guy is in a pretty sick situation--he should leave her no matter what--and he isn't being honest with her, but maybe that isn't your lookout. Things might or might not turn bad, but that's a risk we take in any relationship or sexual encounter.

At this point in my life, I prefer monogamy, but that's me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Update by the way, he left her a few weeks back. He said their relationship was a joke and he didn't realise just how much until recently. She's started sleeping with other people to make him jealous but he said he's past it and doesn't care anymore. Don't know if we're going to start taking anything seriously between us but I'm gonna wait until he's happier in himself before either of us make a decision around that.

Cheers for your comments though guys :)
 

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About being the other woman (person, whatever), to some it's sinful, to some it's unknown (never been there and never even been asked to be the first, second or third woman ha ha, sorry). To some it's about ego, and to some it's about morals.

Let's not forget it's a sin, zero morals, etc until their ego hits (to some women) and then they start building arguments inside their head why it's not so bad, or why they deserve this and the other person don't, why the other person is bad, etc. What I'm saying is, to some people is an unknown arena until they step in, and all they have said goes to the trashcan because at the end... what the hell!. This is general talking.

Update by the way, he left her a few weeks back. He said their relationship was a joke and he didn't realise just how much until recently. She's started sleeping with other people to make him jealous but he said he's past it and doesn't care anymore. Don't know if we're going to start taking anything seriously between us but I'm gonna wait until he's happier in himself before either of us make a decision around that.

Cheers for your comments though guys :)
Beware of the danger of having just one source of info on delicate stuff. Getting involved with single people this way is risky, not to mention people inside a relationship or recently coming out of one... "he said, he said", I'm not saying he is bad or whatever, just don't believe everything someone says about a recently ended relationship.
 
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