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When I was growing up, I was a bossy little thing. My Ni and Fi ran wild, and I was all like, "DO WHAT I TELL YOU BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!"

I have definitely softened that quality up to where I can just make suggestions, be the person who whispers good ideas in people's ears, and it's easier for me to shrug it off when the average person resists my attempts to help them. I don't go seeking direct leadership roles because I don't like all that pressure and attention on me, but am somewhat relieved when I am given a position where I'm in control.

I still often find that frankly, I pretty much tend to want to take over the world, so I can save it, and I can still sometimes start to get too controlling of someone I really care about (I do try to loosen up, it's just super hard for me to do). Does anyone else experience this?
 

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i was totally like that, i wanted to take over the world and make it better, my and my INTJ friend pent so much time talking about our imaginary empire
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
i was totally like that, i wanted to take over the world and make it better, my and my INTJ friend pent so much time talking about our imaginary empire
I do that with INTJs a lot too, sometimes in a group also comprising other INFs. It's funny how much enthusiasm I can rally for such ideas. Actually, I tend to collect friends based on their gifts, values, and whether they have the potential to take over the world, or at least make a significant contribution/gain much respect and power. Yeah. Maybe I do act like a Capricorn after all. :tongue:
 
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I'm so glad you made this thread. I was pretty horrible when I was a kid. It was kind of worse with me, I think, because my mother ran a daycare out of our home while I was growing up. I won't go into it, but... I have regrets.

But, yeah, I don't think my intentions were cruel, though I'm still not going to claim that I thought I was helping anyone or making the world a better place. I honestly don't remember why I acted that way. I just know I was always the "leader" and was always making the rules and organizing everything, no matter what we were doing. Ironically enough, I was the youngest.

I, too, think I have softened this quality. I like to help people and to offer advice. And, as you mentioned, I am never the first person to volunteer for a leadership role, but I am pleased when I am asked to lead, because I know how much care I will put into the position and into the project.

I don't have much of a problem with controlling other people in everyday life. I can get pretty frustrated when I watch other people seemingly making the same mistakes over and over again, but I'm kind of stuck on the philosophy that "you cannot save people, you can only love them (Anaïs Nin)." You can offer helpful suggestions, but ultimately people have to decide what they want for themselves. No amount of manipulation or control could ever be the solution. It just never works.
 

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I'm so glad you made this thread. I was pretty horrible when I was a kid. It was kind of worse with me, I think, because my mother ran a daycare out of our home while I was growing up. I won't go into it, but... I have regrets.

But, yeah, I don't think my intentions were cruel, though I'm still not going to claim that I thought I was helping anyone or making the world a better place. I honestly don't remember why I acted that way. I just know I was always the "leader" and was always making the rules and organizing everything, no matter what we were doing. Ironically enough, I was the youngest.

I, too, think I have softened this quality. I like to help people and to offer advice. And, as you mentioned, I am never the first person to volunteer for a leadership role, but I am pleased when I am asked to lead, because I know how much care I will put into the position and into the project.

I don't have much of a problem with controlling other people in everyday life. I can get pretty frustrated when I watch other people seemingly making the same mistakes over and over again, but I'm kind of stuck on the philosophy that "you cannot save people, you can only love them (Anaïs Nin)." You can offer helpful suggestions, but ultimately people have to decide what they want for themselves. No amount of manipulation or control could ever be the solution. It just never works.
True that. I'd overgeneralize here and say. Everybody has it in them. But some also have a circuit breaker installed by society to disarm this side of them. All boils down to physics. IIRC the shadow image of infp is estj ? So that is your shadow trying to make sure the world works the way it is to your advantage. There is a good book called "Meeting the shadow" that talks about the repressed part in ourselves and the amount of energy we spend/waste trying to keep it down instead of harnessing it's energy to drive us forward. After all it's an equilibrium give and take. Balance. Yin & Yang. etc. bla
 

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I don't really remember every being bossy or anything like that... but I remember I used to think that if I personally didn't do something myself it wouldn't get done the right way because I thought no one else cared for it to be right.
 

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I wasn't like that at all growing up.............. I am now though :wink:
 
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