[hohum70]

My Son is an ENFP and reaching his teenage years. His behaviour for the first 9 years of his life revolved around many daily tantrums, whinging and moaning about most things, with bucket loads of defiance. He's improved so much since then as his capacity to understand how he affects others with his actions has increased along with the realisation that it's not all about him all the time.:shocked:

However, his attitude towards me swings from total lack of respect to expressing how much he loves me. He often demands things of me last minute and when it can't be done, throws a foot stamping tantrum with lots of verbal of how terribly unfair his life is. When he is asked to do something normal, like brush his teeth and go to bed, defiance kicks in. This occurs every evening. I had hoped that this may have stopped by his age as it's been going on since he could speak!

I would like to know from ENFP's the best way to communicate with him to help improve our relationship. It makes me sad that it gets as bad as it does and I'm sure he feels the same. He is the most important person I have had and will have in my life and I love him loads. I'd be grateful for your advice.

By the way he really seems to hate the word "no".:angry: With or without an explanation to follow if he lets me speak.

 

[hohum70]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. It's made things clearer. Plenty to think about and lots to remember. It's been just us two from when he was tiny and not easy. I think perhaps he realised he could get away with more as in his eyes it was him against me. Perhaps if there had been two adults in the house, the dynamics and his behaviour would have been different. I've tried most approaches over the years including referrals to child guidance when he was 5 and 7 years old and unmanageable but they were no help at all.

This is advice from the genuine article!