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Which is better?

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Everything is worth it in some way.

What is it to never have anything? Apathy? One is better off dead if he cannot live. What a meaningless existence.

Give me love, then tear it from my claws of my own ill will a million times before I will deny the sensation at all. My heart is bleeding. Emotion is never a mistake. Attach, detach. Never forget.
 

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this is close, but i'm looking for the "it's better to have loved and not told anyone (but, it was pretty obvious) or never at all" poll...
 

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A quote from Oswald T. Pratt comes to mind: "It is better to have loved and lost than to have hot needles slowly driven into your eyeballs."

However, I don't think I agree. When you've loved and lost, you at least have memories to cherish, even if they make you feel sad.
 

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I'm not sure to be honest. Sure love is grand and all, but feelings are not allways pretty. To quote a really terrible 90s song: I want it all or nothing at all. I think that's how it goes. For now, for me, love is off the menu.
 

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I think it's better to have loved and lost. It teaches you things, most importantly how to let go of things in life. Plus it's one of the greatest experiences you can have in life, IMHO.

And also, I didn't know you were such an otown fan @KindOfBlue06
 

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@dann hahaha yeah that's the group! Nothing like a divorced middleaged man singing in a boyband!
 

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God no, it's not better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. (That's just my own preference, of course. Obviously others may feel very differently.) I've never really understood that phrase. Although I'll admit that I do sometimes love to wallow in the sadness of lost romantic interests, I think I'd be a happier person overall if I'd never had to experience that degree of emotional pain. It's dreadful. I recall life being easier before I'd experienced heartbreak.
 

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better to of loved, you learn the love isn't a silver bullet to your problems, but it's still a very undescribable experience
 
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Many people believe that ignorance is better than knowing too much (which often means becoming very unhappy and cynical). On the same wavelength you can argue that it's better to have never loved at all because you would never know heartache.

But many people also believe that knowing too much is better than ignorance. They'd also be the type to say that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I honestly don't know what I would prefer.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I'm not sure. Before you experience it, I think it's easier to say it's better to have to love and lose it, but after you have it, you wonder whether you couldn't done without the hurt or pain. The feelings are not something you can walk away from so easily. Love takes so much out of a person that when it doesn't work out, it leaves you feeling drained and sometimes discouraged or cynical. Then you go into other relationships hoping you'll find it again or avoid investing as much as you did the first time so you don't experience that loss again. So, I'm not sure if it's better to have loved and lost because having that thing and losing it can hurt like the dickens.
 

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In my opinion, definitely better to have loved and lost. I don't know when or even if I'll ever fall in love again, but I am quite glad that now I can read the opening pages of Dante's New Life and feel, really feel what it's about. I wouldn't give this knowledge back in exchange for a reprieve from the pains of heartbreak.
 

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I think it would be interesting to cross-examine this variable with that of whether or not the person voting has ever been in love.
 

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Well, I'd like to ask the ones who loved, then *lost*, then killed themselves because of it. But they are so silent now. And can't answer this question, you know? Wherever they ended up, I wonder what *they* are thinking about this Love question?

And I'd like to ask the ones who loved, then *lost*, then ended up in the Looney Bins because of it. Oh yes, they are there. My Abnormal Psychology professor from the 80s, told me they are.

...and I'd love to ask the ones who loved, then *lost*, @ the murderous hands of an abusive *lover*. Those gone, are quite silent now, also -- I'll never get the answer to this question from them.

For me... everyone I have loved in my life, I am glad I did. And as I continue on my Life Journey, I'm going to continue to love (not sexual, please!) whoever I please -- I just don't make it any of their business to know it. I sooooo do love my fantasies. ;-)

My final answer to the Million $$$ question of "Better to have loved and lost or never at all?" is..................











.....
 
...it depends.
 

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I'm not sure. Before you experience it, I think it's easier to say it's better to have to love and lose it, but after you have it, you wonder whether you couldn't done without the hurt or pain. The feelings are not something you can walk away from so easily. Love takes so much out of a person that when it doesn't work out, it leaves you feeling drained and sometimes discouraged or cynical. Then you go into other relationships hoping you'll find it again or avoid investing as much as you did the first time so you don't experience that loss again. So, I'm not sure if it's better to have loved and lost because having that thing and losing it can hurt like the dickens.
I agree.

Sure you'll have the memories to cherish and at least some of them will be good, but they will be tinged by the bad ones which will likely be the ones evoked whenever you think of the person: "It was so good until..." or "It could have been better if only..."

Give me physical adversity if I must learn a lesson, rather than emotional adversity which doesn't necessarily involve any answers...
 

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But many people also believe that knowing too much is better than ignorance. They'd also be the type to say that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Just as a bit of a counterexample (I didn't vote to avoid bias), I generally favour knowledge over ignorance (though I acknowledge that ignorance sometimes leads to greater contentment). But I'd rather not have to worry about feeling love at all if I had the option.
 
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