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I've always been stuck on my Enneagram type. Not sure if I'm a 4w5 or 9w1. So what are the main differences in the two types? And similarities where someone like me might be confused between the two? I feel as though I relate strongly to both at times.
 

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Both types have themes revolving around being connected/separate from others, and I think on some level both feel much more cut off than they'd like to be, while also being afraid of being smothered.

4s believe they are fundamentally isolated--as though the world is a tapestry of strings tying people to each other, to objects, to places, but a long time ago the strings leading to the 4 got cut. Even though it causes them such pain, 4s also like their sense of separation because it is who they are, and being honest about who they are is important. What they fundamentally do not realize is that they are as connected as the rest of us: that is why their holy idea is Holy Origin, the realization that we're all connected and having some differences does not make you not human.

9s are ambivalent: they go back and forth between wanting to feel close to others and needing space because getting close overwhelms their sense of self. Their sense of boundaries are poor and so they experience the environment (/people) around them as sort of a part of their psychic space. 9s don't want to be intruded on, but unlike 4s, they're very aware of their need for others. Not having a safety net is frightening to them. (Not because they can't survive on their own--on average they are probably much more capable than a given 4--but because they're more aware of their human need for others.) So they quiet any disagreement or disruption, which they fear would permanently cut them off from the world. What they fundamentally do not realize is that their connections to the world around them are not so tenuous--they can have a fight and still be connected to that person. In fact, being more open and interacting more makes them more truly connected. That's why their holy idea is Holy love.

Both types are angry, but often disconnect from their own anger.

4s are angry in a bitter, "gotta get mine" kind of way. Some very consciously feel envy and desire, wanting to tear down others (this is more common in, say, sx 4w3). Others mostly tamp down their feelings of envy but express it in a kind of jaded bitterness at the world. For them, anger can mean destroying people. They are angry because they are misunderstood.

9s usually strive to keep their little frustrations down, but eventually the dam bursts and they often release it all in a big outburst. As a gut type, anger is more central to them, and is tied directly into a sense of boundaries and negotiation. For them, anger can mean controlling people. Their anger comes from a sense of their boundaries being violated.

Both types might be very emotionally sensitive.

4s revel in that sensitivity, because it is the source of their identity. They may mistake a current emotional state for an entrenched truth about their personality. Sometimes, they might do things to make sure a certain profound emotional state lingers (though I bet this is a lot more common for Fe 4s). Being sensitive is something they are proud of--whether it's a gentle, lyrical sensitivity or a tough, gritty 'in tune with my emotions and desires' sense. Either way, they view their emotions as part of themselves.

9s are uncomfortable with sensitivity and try to numb themselves to it. They don't like being "weak" and would like to be able to tune things out. Actually, they can, which is why 9s can do great in a real emergency (many 4s would not, though say a sp 4 might). But they are always aware of the ways in which they are still "too sensitive." They view emotions as a kind of external interruption.
 
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