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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If you entered an intense passionate relationship with the girl of your dreams today... would you have any fears that you might have a part of yourself... or do something that might screw it up?

Definitely a personal question. Still... anyone wanna share?
 

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Well, right now I'm in a pretty intense relationship. I've pretty much mellowed out around him, but I still get afraid to show my intensity. He realizes that I love him and that he loves me, but I really don't think he understands the extent of it. I can imagine how he would take it. I would probably back out. (Unrelated: I think I've diagnosed him as an INFP.)

I'm also a little afraid of getting hurt. I say "a little" because like most of my fellow INFJ's, I love with my entire heart and I don't hold back. I know what the consequences are and yet I do so anyway because it's in my nature. And while that may seem like a lovely trait, sometimes I want to look away, because the situation miiiight get ugly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Well, right now I'm in a pretty intense relationship. I've pretty much mellowed out around him, but I still get afraid to show my intensity. He realizes that I love him and that he loves me, but I really don't think he understands the extent of it. I can imagine how he would take it. I would probably back out. (Unrelated: I think I've diagnosed him as an INFP.)

I'm also a little afraid of getting hurt. I say "a little" because like most of my fellow INFJ's, I love with my entire heart and I don't hold back. I know what the consequences are and yet I do so anyway because it's in my nature. And while that may seem like a lovely trait, sometimes I want to look away, because the situation miiiight get ugly.
Hehe.... I know... one time I started dating this girl, and after one of the dates i sang her a love song and she never called again. :laughing:

Needless to say, she wasn't the one because I'd need someone who appreciated romance as much as I do in a soulmate... or maybe my singing was just that bad... :crazy:
 

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If you entered an intense passionate relationship with the girl of your dreams today... would you have any fears that you might have a part of yourself... or do something that might screw it up?

Definitely a personal question. Still... anyone wanna share?
Your topic kinda through me for a loop. The subject is "Biggest Fears" so I entered it already thinking and planning out my thoughts and then you ask something about relationships. lol Coincidentally, I was already going to be talking about that. Must be an INFJ thing... haha My biggest fear as of right now is that I may have thrown away something really good for the prospect of something greater. Time will tell. Either way, it's too late now and life must go on.
 

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If I was in an intense relationship with the girl of my dreams, then what part of me would I have to worry about?

I mean, if she's the girl of my dreams, she's going to accept me for who I am, right? Or is your dream girl different? :p

I'm afraid of losing touch with myself.
 

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Suppose I could add that my biggest irrational fear is animatronic robots. You know, the kind they use in kiddie restaurants and tourist traps, that sing and move?

I have been scared senseless of them since I was a child. Even seeing them on TV gives me the willies.
 

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If you entered an intense passionate relationship with the girl of your dreams today... would you have any fears that you might have a part of yourself... or do something that might screw it up?

Definitely a personal question. Still... anyone wanna share?
That sounds like heaven to me (with a bloke). I wouldn't be scared of losing any part of myself because my personality is geared towards that kind of intimacy anyway. It would be a natural state and would bring out the best in me. Nor would I expect to screw it up because we should be able to have disagreements without having to walk away from each other.

But I would be realistic about the intensity waning over time, and would hope that mutual respect and friendship could see us through the long term.
 

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I don't know if I have a 'biggest' fear, or any fear at all. There are times when I don't know what to choose, or I am scared of dark, but I often believe I overcome these problems too easily to call them 'fears'. I often see the fears as trifles to get my life (or others!) more exciting.
 

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how about my fear is that i will not have enough time to properly say my honesty.

edit: scratch that i know my biggest fear is now..... introversion
 

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im starting to realize i have a fear of intimacy - that is, to get really truly close to people. but i think it's like others have mentioned, it's mostly because my feelings are so intense that i dont want to scare them off.

my relationship stories are: avoid. avoid. avoid. ohhhh i really like this one! avoid. yeah, i seriously like this guy. avoid. avoid. WANT TO HUG WORSHIP YOU SQUEEE.

but isn't this just a product of taking relationships really seriously (as i think all INFJs do)?

it's either famine or feast in the realm of love.

(and i hate to be an idealist, but hopefully most of us can find people who accept our flaws. especially the not bad ones - like being overly romantic)
 

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im starting to realize i have a fear of intimacy - that is, to get really truly close to people. but i think it's like others have mentioned, it's mostly because my feelings are so intense that i dont want to scare them off.

my relationship stories are: avoid. avoid. avoid. ohhhh i really like this one! avoid. yeah, i seriously like this guy. avoid. avoid. WANT TO HUG WORSHIP YOU SQUEEE.

but isn't this just a product of taking relationships really seriously (as i think all INFJs do)?

it's either famine or feast in the realm of love.

(and i hate to be an idealist, but hopefully most of us can find people who accept our flaws. especially the not bad ones - like being overly romantic)
+1.

ten charactees
 

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im starting to realize i have a fear of intimacy - that is, to get really truly close to people. but i think it's like others have mentioned, it's mostly because my feelings are so intense that i dont want to scare them off.

my relationship stories are: avoid. avoid. avoid. ohhhh i really like this one! avoid. yeah, i seriously like this guy. avoid. avoid. WANT TO HUG WORSHIP YOU SQUEEE.

but isn't this just a product of taking relationships really seriously (as i think all INFJs do)?

it's either famine or feast in the realm of love.

(and i hate to be an idealist, but hopefully most of us can find people who accept our flaws. especially the not bad ones - like being overly romantic)

Maybe because you are extraverted feeling so you are scared of showing too much? Whereas I am introverted feeling, and I am usually in control of exactly how I want to come across. I could be experiencing a lot of emotion yet portray a totally calm exterior. Since I've had children, I've lost the ability to cry infront of someone. The times when I cry alone, no matter how much pain I feel, it seems to stop very quickly.

(Oh, and if I make it sound like that's a good thing, it isn't. My husband is leaving me because I am unable to display feeling and emotion to the level that he requires in a relationship. Even when I was given an ultimatum, I still couldn't summon it up.)
 

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Maybe because you are extraverted feeling so you are scared of showing too much? Whereas I am introverted feeling, and I am usually in control of exactly how I want to come across. I could be experiencing a lot of emotion yet portray a totally calm exterior. Since I've had children, I've lost the ability to cry infront of someone. The times when I cry alone, no matter how much pain I feel, it seems to stop very quickly.

(Oh, and if I make it sound like that's a good thing, it isn't. My husband is leaving me because I am unable to display feeling and emotion to the level that he requires in a relationship. Even when I was given an ultimatum, I still couldn't summon it up.)
Wow, thanks for that insightful response! I wish I could offer you advice in return about your situation... but I'm not sure I can. It sounds like you possess a lot of self-awareness, which makes sense being INFP. But you're in the same boat as us INFJs in that we are entirely too self-aware but unfortunately unable to overcome some of these deeper psychological issues that every person has.

Thanks again for pointing out that it's likely Fe going crazy, that makes perfect sense but I've never thought about it that way! It's interesting that we have the opposing issues with our own Fe and Fi.... if only we could take our Fe and Fi and use them to our advantage some how? Maybe we can figure out how to do that one day...
 
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