[Sonne]

Have you had overnight changes in your perspective, or who you are?

I was thinking that I have had moments over the years where things changed for me emotionally or socially, etc. in a short period of time, and in some cases overnight. It changed me almost completely internally although the changes weren't always visible.

Have you had similar experiences?

 

[Zeptometer]

lol i wish

 

[listentotherain]

College decision. One night I thought I wanted to major in computer science at a very intense school or go to this amazing place called Oberlin (really an amazing place).

The next morning I decided I didn't need any stupid college professors telling me what it means to think maturely, so I decided to go to this boring place where I can learn enough not to die and spend the rest of my time learning on my own terms.

 

[WanderingThoughts]

I've had various shifts in thinking and belief, and though they're mostly minor, I'm extremely glad they've happened. I think in general they've made me a happier person, and my standard state of mind is no longer sad, or even neutral, but usually at least slightly content now. It's wonderful. And it hasn't stopped so far.

 

[infpblog]

Yes, when I saw Brene Brown's TED Talk on YouTube about vulnerability in December 2010. It completely upended everything I believed about relationships. All my theories and beliefs about relationships flew out the window and I had to start from scratch again.

 

[kyliecarefree]

YES! Just a few days ago I discovered The Happiness Trap in this thread because of @mushr00m (thank you!) and it's been this very sudden disillusionment. This book has really brought me to a new level of self-acceptance and a new perspective on self-love. It explains how bad feelings are OKAY and normal to feel (gasp!) and that they aren't "wrong" or "bad" (and how they will never go away no matter what we do -- it's actually more empowering than it sounds!), and also that we should not believe our thoughts when they tell us we are horrible and stupid and nobody likes you. I love it. I love love love love it. Best eight bucks I ever spent.

 

[Blackbeard]

Yep, and it tends to happen often, or has been happening often. Being me in my world is dangerous so I kind of have to hide in order not to be eaten alive. One smell of weakness and it's a rap.

 

[mimesis]

Have you had overnight changes in your perspective, or who you are?

I was thinking that I have had moments over the years where things changed for me emotionally or socially, etc. in a short period of time, and in some cases overnight. It changed me almost completely internally although the changes weren't always visible.

Have you had similar experiences?

Yes, I changed overnight from going completely bezerk of jealousy to never or hardly feeling jealous or envious ever again.
I know, it's weird. It's like dismantling an explosive

 

[Luke]

The biggest change for me was that I had a mental illness that was so painful that it felt like I was being tortured. I broke down eventually and had to be hospitalized. I changed a lot after that. I did a lot of soul searching and became a much more compassionate person.

 

[mimesis]

Yes, when I saw Brene Brown's TED Talk on YouTube about vulnerability in December 2010. It completely upended everything I believed about relationships. All my theories and beliefs about relationships flew out the window and I had to start from scratch again.

I dig!

Great video. Thanks. This is why I liked so much what @Hend posted on the happy thread a couple of days ago. Going to her father to say 'happy birthday'. It may seem trivial, but it's so profound. And indeed 'empowering'.

 

[Hend]

Well this is an interesting topic. The past 19 months have been quite rough, things have been falling apart one after another. I'm not an angry or uptight person by nature. But one night, I've suddenly realized the amount of anger I hold deep inside, and I wasn't conscious of it until it faded away, you know the saying "You don't really know what you've got till it's gone", this saying is supposed to be applicable on things or people we don't recognize their value until we lose them, but it was also applicable on that moment when my internal anger faded away, consciously the change was sudden but I guess it was gradual unconsciously, it might have been changing behind curtains and suddenly the curtains open and tataaa I see the new picture. But since that night I became much less cynical towards life and more affirming of other people's troubles no matter how trivial these troubles are in my eyes.
That night I wrote "Anger faded away, coolness took over, smooth harmonic melody plays in the soul. It's the glory time, the time of gratitude. It's the bittersweet taste, it's the beauty and it's the suppleness. There's a dulcet aria in my ears and tonight I'll sleep to it.."

I was going to share that one day on the let it out thread but I think it's better suited here for the purpose of this thread.

 

[mimesis]

Well this is an interesting topic. The past 19 months have been quite rough, things have been falling apart one after another. I'm not an angry or uptight person by nature. But one night, I've suddenly realized the amount of anger I hold deep inside, and I wasn't conscious of it until it faded away, you know the saying "You don't really know what you've got till it's gone", this saying is supposed to be applicable on things or people we don't recognize their value until we lose them, but it was also applicable on that moment when my internal anger faded away, consciously the change was sudden but I guess it was gradual unconsciously, it might have been changing behind curtains and suddenly the curtains open and tataaa I see the new picture. But since that night I became much less cynical towards life and more affirming of other people's troubles no matter how trivial these troubles are in my eyes.
That night I wrote "Anger faded away, coolness took over, smooth harmonic melody plays in the soul. It's the glory time, the time of gratitude. It's the bittersweet taste, it's the beauty and it's the suppleness. There's a dulcet aria in my ears and tonight I'll sleep to it.."

I was going to share that one day on the let it out thread but I think it's better suited here for the purpose of this thread.

That's also like dismantling an explosive. ;-) I read your story on the other thread (advice to INFP<30) and I thought it was compelling. It's because you are so intelligent, so disciplined, you have so much endurance and fighting spirit, why you had made it so far, but also almost crushed yourself in the process.

Perhaps now you think 'how could I have been so stupid?' (often inherent to becoming aware), and are you learning all about who, what, why, when and how. Which is good. But you still had achieved something, that required certain qualities. So I was already enjoying myself thinking, wow just imagine the mountains you could move once you have aligned all those qualities and potential with your heart and your passion!
roud:

 

[Hend]

That's also like dismantling an explosive. ;-) I read your story on the other thread (advice to INFP<30) and I thought it was compelling. It's because you are so intelligent, so disciplined, you have so much endurance and fighting spirit, why you had made it so far, but also almost crushed yourself in the process.

Perhaps now you think 'how could I have been so stupid?' (often inherent to becoming aware), and are you learning all about who, what, why, when and how. Which is good. But you still had achieved something, that required certain qualities. So I was already enjoying myself thinking, wow just imagine the mountains you could move once you have aligned all those qualities and potential with your heart and your passion!
roud:

Thank you! . Contributions are inspirational. Well, my general approach towards life's observations is seeking a balance so I don't fall into either extremes of any given situation. I support moderation. And yes I possess self-discipline by nature but I don't call myself intelligent (thank you though!), I consider intelligence a relative expression.

Endurance is a very critical issue in my opinion, having pushed myself roughly for a long time I must say that there's a moment when one have to listen to his inner exhaustion otherwise he would crush himself (as you pointed out), submitting to this moment is not weakness, on the contrary it's insight. Knowing when to hit the brakes is life-saving, in my case I didn't hit the brakes until my body involuntary did (my immune system crashed and subsequently I developed a life-threatening illness as I mentioned here before). Fighting should be accompanied by resilience. And one should have mercy on himself.

As for " 'how could I have been so stupid?' (often inherent to becoming aware) ", I've grown to learn that I couldn't possibly reach my destination unless I've walked the distance, so I no more undervalue my past deeds whatsoever or shy away from them or beat myself up for them because simply that's useless and harmful. Instead I embrace them and build on them. The slightest things could teach you the most valuable lessons. And valuable could be simple, it doesn't have to be a "hidden treasure" (metaphorically) or so. But escaping won't be of benefit. Again there's a fine balance here that's important if one ever wants to learn.

Now, seriously the last sentence of yours is striking! this "aligning" thing you described. That's actually what I'm working on nowadays. It would take sometime though, focus is my current weapon. I've read some of your posts, I think you have a judicious intellect and what's more important is being the considerate person that you are, I respect that.

 

[mushr00m]

YES! Just a few days ago I discovered The Happiness Trap in this thread because of @mushr00m (thank you!) and it's been this very sudden disillusionment. This book has really brought me to a new level of self-acceptance and a new perspective on self-love. It explains how bad feelings are OKAY and normal to feel (gasp!) and that they aren't "wrong" or "bad" (and how they will never go away no matter what we do -- it's actually more empowering than it sounds!), and also that we should not believe our thoughts when they tell us we are horrible and stupid and nobody likes you. I love it. I love love love love it. Best eight bucks I ever spent.

Oh, im glad it is benefitting you. Its a great book, I think I might even read it again actually soon, just to refresh a few things.

 

[7rr7s]

I've had a few of those experiences.

1.Almost dying in a car accident and waking up in the hospital cnahged my perspective of life. I now realize how precious it is and how quickly it can be taken away. I began to accept death more, and began living as if I was allready dead.

2. Talking with a top marketer, and going to a few seminars on success, investment, confidence ect. The main thing that changed me was realizing that the voice in your head is there to get you from your birth to your death with a minimal amount of pain. The voice will tell you not to take risks, not to try because you might fail ect. It is there to protect you, but it will hold you back. So once you are aware of the voice, you can deprogram it. That's when I really started to live.

3. A very important person shattered my whole beliefs about love. He told me things that broke me. He killed off some part of me, but he made me stronger. My views on love have never been the same since.

4. Reading Robert Moore's material on masculine psychology changed how I view myself and others.

5. Finding this site and learning that I wasn't alone. Not only that, but learning about other people and how they work, what makes them tick ect. It changed how I view the world and the people in it.

 

[JoCZker]

I woke up as a bug one day. But its allright, they called it "Kafka´s disease" and cure is on the way.

 

[mimesis]

Thank you! . Contributions are inspirational. Well, my general approach towards life's observations is seeking a balance so I don't fall into either extremes of any given situation. I support moderation. And yes I possess self-discipline by nature but I don't call myself intelligent (thank you though!), I consider intelligence a relative expression.

Endurance is a very critical issue in my opinion, having pushed myself roughly for a long time I must say that there's a moment when one have to listen to his inner exhaustion otherwise he would crush himself (as you pointed out), submitting to this moment is not weakness, on the contrary it's insight. Knowing when to hit the brakes is life-saving, in my case I didn't hit the brakes until my body involuntary did (my immune system crashed and subsequently I developed a life-threatening illness as I mentioned here before). Fighting should be accompanied by resilience. And one should have mercy on himself.

As for " 'how could I have been so stupid?' (often inherent to becoming aware) ", I've grown to learn that I couldn't possibly reach my destination unless I've walked the distance, so I no more undervalue my past deeds whatsoever or shy away from them or beat myself up for them because simply that's useless and harmful. Instead I embrace them and build on them. The slightest things could teach you the most valuable lessons. And valuable could be simple, it doesn't have to be a "hidden treasure" (metaphorically) or so. But escaping won't be of benefit. Again there's a fine balance here that's important if one ever wants to learn.

Now, seriously the last sentence of yours is striking! this "aligning" thing you described. That's actually what I'm working on nowadays. It would take sometime though, focus is my current weapon. I've read some of your posts, I think you have a judicious intellect and what's more important is being the considerate person that you are, I respect that.

Thanks. I appreciate your appreciation and consideration.

I didn't mean beating up on yourself, or cry shame, but I realise that it may have sounded like that, in the context of self-discipline. But that would I think be self-consciousness ('stupid!') rather than self-awareness ('how?').

I think all mentioned qualities are relative, and you learned (the hard way) how these can be somewhat disadvantageous, up to seriously harmful. Minimizing or avoiding risk (or vulnerability) is not always the best security strategy, and then it can be disadvantageous if you have many talents, or when you are perceived as delightful or when you have a fighting spirit.

I see you learning this, and that makes me happy (for you). It's still the same intelligence, with a different outcome, because it's with heart. Endurance with heart is patience. Discipline with heart is forgiving or knowing where to draw the line, Fighting spirit with heart is courage (compared to hostility). And so on. Off course there's more to it than just that, and it's also all of it together. But I think you are doing very well, in part because your mind is open to be inspired.

 

[Nackle1]

@Hend your story was quite inspiring to me, just because I could identify so well with it.

The last two years of my life have been disasterous in alot of ways. Whenever someone says anything slightly agressive or rude to me, I have the chance to become anxious for months on end. and it's tough because I'm so upset and there so little real physical danger to deal with. I'm not so much fighting another person, as much I'm fighting myself. The worst case left me deppressed for about 6 months and I had trouble sleeping. I almost failed school in the process. Hopefully I am learning to deal.

So I guess moments like that are probably the greatest changes in one day of my life.

 

[perfectcircle]

@infpblog
I really liked that video but part of it is confusing to me... I suppose I feel some conflict in life lessons I've learned. People continually reject me for exposing weakness. Some of that is unfair, but some of it is fair; you know that person who believes their negative emotions and just can't stop feeling them? People stop wanting to be around them. I suppose what I'm saying is, it's really hard to find that line between accepting yourself and wallowing in self pity and justifying it by saying, "this is my true self".
That said, I'm only posting this because it kept binging through my mind as I watched the video. Maybe this is an issue only I will have to deal with and is not universal to ALL people but only some, because the maker of the video was not able to "stay" with her negative emotions and I tihnk a type 4s problem is they have a hard time "leaving" their emotions when they need to be done. I am not necessarily saying you have the answers or asking for advice, just commenting. Though of course if you have insights they are welcome.

 

[Hend]

Thanks. I appreciate your appreciation and consideration.

I didn't mean beating up on yourself, or cry shame, but I realise that it may have sounded like that, in the context of self-discipline. But that would I think be self-consciousness ('stupid!') rather than self-awareness ('how?').

I think all mentioned qualities are relative, and you learned (the hard way) how these can be somewhat disadvantageous, up to seriously harmful. Minimizing or avoiding risk (or vulnerability) is not always the best security strategy, and then it can be disadvantageous if you have many talents, or when you are perceived as delightful or when you have a fighting spirit.

I see you learning this, and that makes me happy (for you). It's still the same intelligence, with a different outcome, because it's with heart. Endurance with heart is patience. Discipline with heart is forgiving or knowing where to draw the line, Fighting spirit with heart is courage (compared to hostility). And so on. Off course there's more to it than just that, and it's also all of it together. But I think you are doing very well, in part because your mind is open to be inspired.

Very insightful. Thank you. Your ideas are certainly added to my process. Keep up the good work, we all need it.

:happy: