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Out of all of the types, ESTP's are the type that strike me as the ones that just don't seem to have a care in the world. They always seem to be on the go, whether it's with work or with leisure. They always seem to be out experiencing and having fun, and they just don't seem to worry about things....almost as if they just don't have time for it or don't believe in it. They just come across as so carefree. ESFP's are similar, but they seem more sensitive, so I can at least picture them getting hurt emotionally.

In all fairness, I only know one person who seems to be an ESTP...most of what I'm going by is from what I've read and based on the actions of various acquaintances I've known who strike me as ESTP's. So I know I'm generalizing.

But it's just...I do so much dwelling and thinking on things naturally, and a lot of times I actually envy ESTP's for just being so spunky, outgoing and loose. I feel the need to do that sometimes and I do. But I know me, and I know there's only so much I can take.

The problem is that I have a hard time being around people of this nature because I get intimidated socially. I get overwhelmed. I'm basing this mostly on the one ESTP person I do know, who is a co-worker/pseudo-friend. I like her for the most part as a person, and we've been able to get along...it's just she's said some things to me that have been quite hurtful, and I know that wasn't her aim, but she also makes no effort to control her bluntness, usually. I've never really brought it up to her because I'm afraid she'll think I'm being over-sensitive.

But anyway, I don't really want to focus on my own issues...it's mainly that I want to try to improve my interactions with ESTP's, or at least people like ESTP's. And I've realized that my main problem with them is that...I never see their vulnerabilities. Whether it's their tough appearance or constant thrill seeking, it doesn't seem like anything ever bothers them or that they have problems.

Of course, I know everyone has problems, and I'm not trying to make it sound like ESTP's have perfect lives. It's just that when I don't see them, it makes it hard for me to be comfortable around them. I have a harder time being myself because I feel like my own issues are glaring. I know that most of this is my own ISFJ tendencies coming out but...I think it will help me to see these vulnerabilities.


So basically, all that long text was leading up to this question: What are the biggest problems you face in life as an ESTP? This can be either things from your own perspective and experience, or things that other people have told you that at one point you didn't realize but over time came to see was true. I've read about things, but it's so much more real and meaningful hearing it firsthand.

I'm really curious, because I think it will help me learn about and feel more comfortable around ESTP-like personalities.
 

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No offense Teddy, but these are the type of stereotypes that give this type a bad rap. The descriptions written in third-person by people who only have a theory of what ESTP is about, generally cannibalize their descriptions from using keywords of other descriptions.

I have come to a conclusion that the only person(s) who can tell us what it is like to a type is people who have confirmed their type. As you may know, below are snippets of how ESTPS confirmed through a controlled study, describes themselves:
I make it happen. How I work—I have a picture in my head on how things will be, and I’m totally involved in the here and now. I am go, go, go. And that creates a lot of successes. I just dodge my way through the sparks and problems. I’m very task oriented. I like to do something, get it done, and move to the next thing. I love circumstances where it’s a challenge.

I’m a doer. What’s the mission and how are we getting there? Let’s work together. Let’s go. Throw any obstacle, I’ll find a way.....

I love the challenge of creating something pleasing to the eye. I like the order, to walk into a place that’s totally chaotic, nothing’s happening, and there’s a great opportunity to straighten things out. I like to get the job of placing all the stuff, making it right so it works.....

Family is very important. Just getting together and being close with the family, I think that’s satisfying. I don’t have a whole lot of really deep friendships, but yet I like to think people would describe me as dedicated, determined, and loyal. I sometimes have difficulty concealing what I am thinking or feeling. I don’t like the pressure of having to say no. I can be somewhat cool but a genuine friend as a personal relationship evolves. Trustworthiness in personal relationships is very important, that we can disagree and still be friends, and if our backs were ever to the wall, I’m there and I would expect the same.

If I don’t respect someone, I avoid them. If I can find another way to do business I will. I surround myself with people that I feel comfortable with, but they’re totally my selection.

I like taking on something that I want to do and getting it done and seeing results, keeping things moving along just to see that I have met some goals—a feeling of accomplishment in a day. I’ll always take bigger risks if I feel confident enough. Then I’ll work with it for a while, and if I see it’s not going anywhere, I just move on and go from there. I guess that summarizes how I deal with situations.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
No offense Teddy, but these are the type of stereotypes that give this type a bad rap. The descriptions written in third-person by people who only have a theory of what ESTP is about, generally cannibalize their descriptions from using keywords of other descriptions.
I didn't mean anything I said to be taken in a negative light...to me I was stating all of those things as positive attributes. When I talked about "not having a care in the world", I didn't mean it as saying ESTP's were lazy or irresponsible or didn't care about important things. I meant it as saying that they knew how to have fun in life, didn't let their inhibitions hold them back, had confidence in what they did, thought, and felt, and seemed to be able to take control of situations.

And I say this because I think some of my biggest problems in life come from my lack of doing such things...I think I tend to over-worry and get wound up too tight, letting my own personal thoughts overwhelm me. I didn't want to go into full detail about my own problems. But it's just that because these perceived aspects of an ESTP seem to help counter-balance some of my own weaknesses and problems, I thought maybe if I saw the flip-side of the coin, I could see how it might work in reverse...if there are things that I do that are positive that I don't even realize because it might be something I've been assuming everyone does


So anyway...I meant pretty much everything I said as a positive. I know that this can still contribute to a negative stereotype, especially if the perception is different, but I really didn't mean to do that with this thread.


Functianalyst said:
I have come to a conclusion that the only person(s) who can tell us what it is like to a type is people who have confirmed their type. As you may know, below are snippets of how ESTPS confirmed through a controlled study, describes themselves:

And that's why I made the thread...so I could hear more directly from ESTP's about the topic, rather than try to figure it out from the general descriptions I had read.




The quotation you offered helped some...but most of them dealt mainly just with how an ESTP might approach work or relationships. They focused more on how an ESTP operates rather than the issues they tend to face.
 

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Teddy, I get the question you are asking and it makes sense why you as an ISFJ would ask it.
I think we appear more unscathed by life because we are highly adaptable and natural improvisers so we don't stress as much. I sort of feed off of tough situations, that's where I excel.
As the youngest of three daughters growing up in a lower income family, I didn't notice that it wasn't normal to move around and change schools so often, going from one rental to another. However, this effected my ISFJ sister negatively. I just thought, new place, new friends, whatever. To this day she still talks about it negatively, it just made me work harder.
And it brings up an interesting point, we all handle our knock downs differently.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Teddy, I get the question you are asking and it makes sense why you as an ISFJ would ask it.
I think we appear more unscathed by life because we are highly adaptable and natural improvisers so we don't stress as much. I sort of feed off of tough situations, that's where I excel.
As the youngest of three daughters growing up in a lower income family, I didn't notice that it wasn't normal to move around and change schools so often, going from one rental to another. However, this effected my ISFJ sister negatively. I just thought, new place, new friends, whatever. To this day she still talks about it negatively, it just made me work harder.
And it brings up an interesting point, we all handle our knock downs differently.
Yeah, that's the thing...this whole thread is definitely the result of me being an ISFJ, as well as a type 6.

The thing is, overall I really and amazed by and even admire ESTP's. They just seem to do certain things so easily that I have so much trouble with.

It's like you talking about you and your sister...I'm totally like her when it comes to things like that. Last year, I was totally crushed when I found out I had gotten transferred to a new job. It's really taken me this whole year to recover from it. At the time, I let an ESTJ friend know the whole situation over email and let him know how hard it was for me...I talked to him about it because he just never seems to be bothered by stuff like that. He was kind and sympathetic, but he also tried to advise me to be very open to the situation and to view it as an opportunity. Of course, his advice was very good, but it was so hard for me to follow. It's been such a constant battle for me to adapt and enjoy it...it just takes me a lot of time.

And I always imagine that ESTP's do that sort of thing even better than he would as an ESTJ. And I think my problem is...I get scared of telling people about this kind of thing, because sometimes in the past people have tried to change me and make me feel like something is wrong with me instead of helping me.

So that's why it helps me so much to learn more about people...it builds a trust and makes me more likely to be able to work and form relationships with them.


So thanks for your insight into the ISFJ aspect, it always helps a lot when people understand me. I remember a while ago you made a really spot on post about ESFJ's compared to ISFJ's, so I really like how you understand us so well. :)
 

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Teddy, I get the question you are asking and it makes sense why you as an ISFJ would ask it.
I think we appear more unscathed by life because we are highly adaptable and natural improvisers so we don't stress as much. I sort of feed off of tough situations, that's where I excel.
As the youngest of three daughters growing up in a lower income family, I didn't notice that it wasn't normal to move around and change schools so often, going from one rental to another. However, this effected my ISFJ sister negatively. I just thought, new place, new friends, whatever. To this day she still talks about it negatively, it just made me work harder.
And it brings up an interesting point, we all handle our knock downs differently.
id have to agree 100% with njchick. everyone has problems but some people just deal with it differently. idk, nothing really affects me to the point that i would really stress out over something. if something gets in my way, i plow through it, find a way to make it work and then just move on. to that point, for some reason things just seem to work out for me so when things go bad i dont view it as world ending. i pretty much can adapt to any situation you throw me in and it doesnt phase me.
 

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I'd also have to agree with Njchick. We probably come off as more carefree and easy-going because we can adapt to new situations and experiences without struggling. I know a lot of people flip a shit whenever a new semester starts or they get a new job.
 

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Out of all of the types, ESTP's are the type that strike me as the ones that just don't seem to have a care in the world. They always seem to be on the go, whether it's with work or with leisure. They always seem to be out experiencing and having fun, and they just don't seem to worry about things....almost as if they just don't have time for it or don't believe in it. They just come across as so carefree. ESFP's are similar, but they seem more sensitive, so I can at least picture them getting hurt emotionally.

In all fairness, I only know one person who seems to be an ESTP...most of what I'm going by is from what I've read and based on the actions of various acquaintances I've known who strike me as ESTP's. So I know I'm generalizing.

But it's just...I do so much dwelling and thinking on things naturally, and a lot of times I actually envy ESTP's for just being so spunky, outgoing and loose. I feel the need to do that sometimes and I do. But I know me, and I know there's only so much I can take.

The problem is that I have a hard time being around people of this nature because I get intimidated socially. I get overwhelmed. I'm basing this mostly on the one ESTP person I do know, who is a co-worker/pseudo-friend. I like her for the most part as a person, and we've been able to get along...it's just she's said some things to me that have been quite hurtful, and I know that wasn't her aim, but she also makes no effort to control her bluntness, usually. I've never really brought it up to her because I'm afraid she'll think I'm being over-sensitive.

But anyway, I don't really want to focus on my own issues...it's mainly that I want to try to improve my interactions with ESTP's, or at least people like ESTP's. And I've realized that my main problem with them is that...I never see their vulnerabilities. Whether it's their tough appearance or constant thrill seeking, it doesn't seem like anything ever bothers them or that they have problems.

Of course, I know everyone has problems, and I'm not trying to make it sound like ESTP's have perfect lives. It's just that when I don't see them, it makes it hard for me to be comfortable around them. I have a harder time being myself because I feel like my own issues are glaring. I know that most of this is my own ISFJ tendencies coming out but...I think it will help me to see these vulnerabilities.


So basically, all that long text was leading up to this question: What are the biggest problems you face in life as an ESTP? This can be either things from your own perspective and experience, or things that other people have told you that at one point you didn't realize but over time came to see was true. I've read about things, but it's so much more real and meaningful hearing it firsthand.

I'm really curious, because I think it will help me learn about and feel more comfortable around ESTP-like personalities.
I agree 100 percent. They seem to live in the same attitude as me when it comes to "give me my space". But on the thinking/feeling part their seems to be a void.
 

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I agree 100 percent. They seem to live in the same attitude as me when it comes to "give me my space". But on the thinking/feeling part their seems to be a void.
Have you met an ESTP IRL?
 

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I agree with all other comments on this. Honestly, if has to be a serious issue for me to stress over it. If it's easily fixed (in most cases, the problem is), then I see no point in putting extra energy into it. It's a waste. As far as the mentioning something to your estp friend, I'd suggest just telling them that what they're saying hurts your feelings. There's no reason for them to get upset over you calling them insensitive. And be quick to the point. There's nothing more I hate than someone beating around the bush about a problem, especially if it wasn't that big of a deal.
 
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As a few others have stated, we ESTPs adapt to each situation quickly and enjoy the change. But I'm pretty sure you weren't asking why we seem so cool headed, you want to know our problems. Well, we're not very good at sharing our imperfections lol. For me, I know i'm the cool headed, smart, quick thinking, get it done kind of guy. So, when the rare situation arises that causes me to do something I'm not good at, I don't always know how to handle it. quick example: I'm a collage student, I don't have to study, I just know the stuff when we get to it. I read the teacher, the other students and not the text book lol. I passed the "hardest" lit class my school had to offer without reading a single work. I aced quizzes, rocked on the tests, wrote great papers participated in all the discussions and was one of the teachers favs. But, in my Spanish class, I couldn't read the teacher or students to get the answer. When I realized I couldn't just be great at it, I didn't know what to do. I knew to study, but I didn't really know how to study lol. Preparation and planning isn't a big priority to to someone who can just go and be good at most things.

Another thing about me, maybe not all ESTPs, is that when someone gets really close to me, I have problems when they don't see what I'm feeling. My fiancée is a great girl, but since I can read her and know what she is thinking/feeling by the look on her face and her body language, I want her to do the same back. The problem is, I don't show the ques she would need to pick up on, and on top of me not sending the ques, she is a ISTJ and not as observational as I am anyways. With all that, and with ESTPs not wanting to share imperfections, it is hard for me to tell her when some things are bothering me at work, school or whatever. We are still learning each other and I'm getting better about sharing when needed.

One thing that ESTPs do (Or at least the ones I know or have read posts from) is we gain confidence in everything we do and some of us playfully brag about it as an opportunity to to make those around us laugh. I love telling jokes that aren't funny. Reason being, I can make people laugh at me when I do it. One of my best friends, another ESTP, brags about how good he is at growing a beard. And lastly, not all that long ago, I read a post where an ESTP threw in that she broke in to her house with a snow shovel lol (Which sounds AWESOME!!!). On top of that, my friend and I are good at most things we put our mind too, but we enjoy everything we're good at, or at least enjoy that we are good at it; Even if it is something as pointless as being good at bad jokes. What I'm getting to is this, look at everything you are good at, and be proud of it. I hope some of my rambling is helpful :-D
 

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Discussion Starter #14
As a few others have stated, we ESTPs adapt to each situation quickly and enjoy the change. But I'm pretty sure you weren't asking why we seem so cool headed, you want to know our problems. Well, we're not very good at sharing our imperfections lol. For me, I know i'm the cool headed, smart, quick thinking, get it done kind of guy. So, when the rare situation arises that causes me to do something I'm not good at, I don't always know how to handle it. quick example: I'm a collage student, I don't have to study, I just know the stuff when we get to it. I read the teacher, the other students and not the text book lol. I passed the "hardest" lit class my school had to offer without reading a single work. I aced quizzes, rocked on the tests, wrote great papers participated in all the discussions and was one of the teachers favs. But, in my Spanish class, I couldn't read the teacher or students to get the answer. When I realized I couldn't just be great at it, I didn't know what to do. I knew to study, but I didn't really know how to study lol. Preparation and planning isn't a big priority to to someone who can just go and be good at most things.

Another thing about me, maybe not all ESTPs, is that when someone gets really close to me, I have problems when they don't see what I'm feeling. My fiancée is a great girl, but since I can read her and know what she is thinking/feeling by the look on her face and her body language, I want her to do the same back. The problem is, I don't show the ques she would need to pick up on, and on top of me not sending the ques, she is a ISTJ and not as observational as I am anyways. With all that, and with ESTPs not wanting to share imperfections, it is hard for me to tell her when some things are bothering me at work, school or whatever. We are still learning each other and I'm getting better about sharing when needed.

One thing that ESTPs do (Or at least the ones I know or have read posts from) is we gain confidence in everything we do and some of us playfully brag about it as an opportunity to to make those around us laugh. I love telling jokes that aren't funny. Reason being, I can make people laugh at me when I do it. One of my best friends, another ESTP, brags about how good he is at growing a beard. And lastly, not all that long ago, I read a post where an ESTP threw in that she broke in to her house with a snow shovel lol (Which sounds AWESOME!!!). On top of that, my friend and I are good at most things we put our mind too, but we enjoy everything we're good at, or at least enjoy that we are good at it; Even if it is something as pointless as being good at bad jokes. What I'm getting to is this, look at everything you are good at, and be proud of it. I hope some of my rambling is helpful :-D

Yeah, that was a really good post and it's kind of made me think a little. Really, my problem was mostly with this one person I described in the OP, and I still don't know for sure if she's an ESTP. There are also a few other guys I've known that I've suspected are ESTP's, but I never had any issues with them (but I also figured they could have been ESFP's as well, so it's hard to say for sure).

So that's been part of the issue here for me...I don't really know any ESTP's that well in life, and I think when I made this post I was kind of feeling down due to my interactions with this one person. Your post here has made me feel a lot better about it because it's shown me more of the human side of ESTP's and it makes me feel more comfortable and less intimidated.

So yes, this post is very helpful. :happy:
 

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Have you met an ESTP IRL?
No. I've never met an ESTP that I know of. It seems a friend of mine in high school was one and seemed so on caring at times and out of tune with my feelings and understanding. That's were the void was. I've heard a lot about ESTPs on the forum and description from varios personality test etc.
 
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