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I hate when guys try to impress someone by being extremely loud and obnoxious. They're trying to get my attention, but they don't realize it's negative attention by that point haha.
I also can't stand insecure guys. If they complain about their personality or body image I just want to roll my eyes and tell them they're fine in a sarcastic voice.
Another turn off is if everything that comes out of their mouth is sarcasm. It's like geez can you not be so rude?
 

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Maybe I'm not the best ISFJ to answer this because I'm a lesbian, but I'll list a few general things.

I hate it when I'm trying to get to know someone that I like and I'm the one that's asking all of the questions. It seems like the other person is completely disinterested. I'm also really turned off by people who are too eager and overly friendly when I first meet them. It just gets obnoxious, and I can see right through them and tell that they just want to hook up without getting to know who I am. I'm not looking for hookups these days; I'm looking for someone to date.

Smelling like you haven't showered in a week will also make me completely lose interest in a person.
 

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Life before marriage. I dated quite a few and the majority of them wanted to get married. It's hard to say what per say was a turn off b/c I tended to be attracted to men who were on the quiet side. So here are some examples (good lawd, do I want to go down memory lane?): feeling like every date has to include his friends, too idealistic, "bad boy" mentality or someone who seems like a womanizer, a man that has slept with many women, a man with no goals, a man that is too emotionally needy, a man that doesn't understand how to reciprocate (in everything basically), a man that is too eager or pushy, bad hygiene, a man who thinks the world revolves around him and isn't considerate of others ....

As far as physical or "flirting", I guess that would have depended on the guy and how I felt with him. I always preferred some light flirting or subtlety, just enough to know that he was interested. ISFJs are not one night stand kind of people.

I think that's enough for now. I'm so damn glad I am not dating. lol
 

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Bad hygiene--also things like nose picking, teeth picking, other bodily things--if you're going to do this, do it in private (as in, the bathroom)
Laziness/lack of ambition--you don't have to be a millionaire, but some sort of ambition is always good. And I appreciate a man who wants to have a career, provide for his family etc.
Pickiness--it's ok to have your particular likes/dislikes, but when it gets too much...it's a turn off
Immaturity--this is the biggest turn off I have. I know you can't be perfectly mature all the time, but overall, I want a guy with a mature character

I'm married to a very committed guy--so it's nice to not have to be in the dating world. Before I was married, it was a little stressful trying to navigate the world of relationships.
 

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--Arrogance is one of the biggest turn offs for me.. And confidence can come off as arrogance to me sometimes also..
--I hate men who have no self control!!! Men who can't control how much they drink or smoke.. things like that...
--Bad breath.. Gross, brush your friggin' teeth!
--Loud, obnoxious men who wanna be the center of attention

Looks wise... I don't find feminine men attractive... Haha! What I mean by that is I don't like a man who takes longer than me to get ready.. I don't like a gallon of product in their hair... Or buttoned up shirts that are tucked in... Or tight pants and nice shoes... I can be showered and outta the house in 20 mins... You better be the one waiting for me, damnit! Haha

Oh!! I also don't like muscles.. Huge turn off.. I like a big man, but with meat on their bones..
 

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* Condescending people
* Narcissism
* Abusive/neglectful people
* Bullies
* People who are constantly angry
* Passive-aggressiveness
* People who don't take responsibility for their actions
* Brashness
* People who think they are always right
* Know-it-alls
* Fair-weather friends
* People who won't take no for an answer (I once knew a creepy stalkerish guy who wanted to date me...plus he had a bad temper. I also had a "friend" who repeatedly said he wanted to date me, but didn't listen when I told him I only wanted friendship)
* People who have an Asian fetish (I've had to deal with two)
* Promiscuous people
* Drug addicts
* Smoking
* People who curse excessively
* Guys who flirt with everyone
* People who use bad spelling/grammar
* Bad hygiene
* People who are full of drama
* Flaky people
 

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Close-mindedness.

Lacking in the confidence department- I like it when a guy isn't afraid to take control, speak his mind or point out problems that should be addressed.

Clingy/Neediness.
 
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I agree with other posters. I don't like close-minded men who refuse to at least try to understand the other side. Bullies are a definite turn-off. I have a hard time with men (or anyone in general) who always blame others for their problems and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
 

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Well I think I'll only be echoing the sentiments of others since we seem to have the same sorts of dislikes. I think most ISFJ's are interested in long-term relationships so a roving eye/infidelity is a big no-no. Honesty is important too, so someone who lies or hides things from his SO is not okay. I've learned to be thicker-skinned over the years, but like @earthtopaige said, a man who constantly uses biting sarcasm turns me off. Ditto for passive-aggressiveness. Irresponsibility and immaturity are turn offs. I need to know I can count on my guy when the going gets tough. I don't like guys who waste gobs of money or dumb guys. Physically, I don't have too many turn offs. I'm not attracted to skinny guys or hugely muscular guys, but that's about it.
 

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INSECURITY!

I get so tired of dealing with extremely insecure people when it's being directed at me as if I'm somehow responsible. I know it's just an issue of maturity but I hate it.

There. I said it.
 

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-making fun of me in front of others
-being too sarcastic with me when we don't know each other well
-asking sexual/personal questions when we don't know each other well
-being disrespectful
-making me feel stupid or too emotional
-not taking good care of your things
-being too physically forward (trying to touch me when we just met)
-not taking no for an answer
-being extremely late
-not listening to me when I talk
 

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-making fun of me in front of others
-being disrespectful
-making me feel stupid or too emotional
-not taking no for an answer
-not listening to me when I talk
Yes.

Also, making fun of others in a hurtful way in my presence. I hate seeing people hurt or shame anyone.
 

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Guys that are:

- Loud
- Poor hygiene
- Controlling
- Disrespectful
- Possessive (this really scares me)
- Jealous
- Attention seeking
- Jerks
- Players
- Obnoxious
- Rude
- Arrogant
- Selfish
- Unkind
- Disloyal/unfaithful
- Untrustworthy
- Gropers
- Smarta$$es
- Conceited
- Snobs
- Clingy/needy
- Abusive
- Racist
- Discriminatory
- Violent
- Don't understand the concept of "no"
- Blspheme (eg: oh my god)
- Have anger management issues that they take out on everyone else
- and swear

Are all guys I won't be caught dead with. I can forgive the first one. As long as he doesn't repeat the mistake.


Guys that are

- Kind
- Chivalrous
- have a nice sense of humour (eg: not racist or crude)
- Generous
- Genuine
- Caring
- Thoughtful
- Gives me my space when I want it
- Respectful
- Gets on well with my family and friends
- Loyal
- Trustworthy
- Considerate
- Well mannered
- Committed

are guys that I love to be around.

Good Luck!
 

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Another turn off is if everything that comes out of their mouth is sarcasm. It's like geez can you not be so rude?
This has just reinforced my assumption that ISFJs take sarcastic humor, personalize it, then throw it out the window.
 

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This has just reinforced my assumption that ISFJs take sarcastic humor, personalize it, then throw it out the window.
That's an over-generalization of ISFJ's. Honestly, if we're close friends and I LIKE you I will recognize your sarcasm and throw back some of my own. A lot of times if I cheerfully send sarcasm right back that's an easy way to tell if I like you. If I don't like you (or don't know you well) I will take your sarcasm personally.
 

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This has just reinforced my assumption that ISFJs take sarcastic humor, personalize it, then throw it out the window.
I have to respectfully disagree with this. I love sarcasm and sarcastic humor, as long as it's not intentionally used as a thinly-veiled criticism of someone present at the time. I don't personalize things, I do not assume everything in life is about me...quite the contrary.

Besides I think the poster who commented on sarcasm and connected it to rudeness was over-generalizing. Sarcasm does not always equal rudeness in my opinion. I am often very sarcastic, and I enjoy it. However, you will not meet a person in my life who would ever call me rude.
 

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Wow, tough crowd. Hey, we all can't be as nice, sweet and caring as an ISFJ, can you ease up maybe just a little? After reading this thread I am a little afraid to ever talk to a woman again. :confused:

So I have to be manly and confident without being arrogant but sometimes confidence is interpreted by ISFJ as arrogance, so be very careful. I need to not be aggressive yet take control of the situation. I need to be funny sarcastic without anyone taking it wrong...*heads start spinning* need to be kind and considerate but not act TOO needy, like care but don't let on that you care. *Sigh* After reading this thread is why I truly feel men are the more insecure sex.
 

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Wow, tough crowd. Hey, we all can't be as nice, sweet and caring as an ISFJ, can you ease up maybe just a little? After reading this thread I am a little afraid to ever talk to a woman again. :confused:

So I have to be manly and confident without being arrogant but sometimes confidence is interpreted by ISFJ as arrogance, so be very careful. I need to not be aggressive yet take control of the situation. I need to be funny sarcastic without anyone taking it wrong...*heads start spinning* need to be kind and considerate but not act TOO needy, like care but don't let on that you care. *Sigh* After reading this thread is why I truly feel men are the more insecure sex.

There can be a very fine line between confident and arrogant. Usually you can just see confidence. You can tell in the way someone walks or how they approach you. Arrogance is usually self praising yourself. Things like " Women just love me!" or " I'm so handsome, my arms look great, you know you want me..." are turn offs.

We do not want you to be aggressive and intimating towards us but you take control in other aspects of life. Sarcasm is fine but it cannot be an all the time thing. I love my brother's sarcastic humor but it can get annoying after awhile because he over does it. Also, being sarcastic to someone you barely know (if an ISFJ) can be taken personally. Once you really get to know her, it will be perfectly fine.

You can easily be considerate and not needy.

Hope this helps.
 
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