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Does Birth order play a role in relationships?

I've noticed some of the women I've spoken or had an interest in me were the eldest in their family. I'm the youngest in my family.
 
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Does Birth order play a role in relationships?

I've noticed some of the women I've spoken or had an interest in me were the eldest in their family. I'm the youngest in my family.
Might be. There is a lot of speculation on conduct regarding birth order or the amount of brothers/sisters, also the place each person has there. It's all pure statistics but... a lot of that seems to me undeniable regarding many things I've seen.
 

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Eldest children tend to have more leadership qualities and also be more independent. I was the eldest and had a mentally disabled younger brother, and I find that I tend to take on a caretaker role in relationships. I prioritise the other person's health/safety/happiness/success sometimes over my own, and tend to take on a lot of burdens around the house. I find that I prefer to be in relationships with other people who were also the eldest child, because otherwise I end up being taken for granted and doing all the work in the relationship. Eldest children seem to understand the importance of helping people even when they don't ask for help.
 

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I'm the youngest in my immediate family and on the younger side in general. I don't rely on others, they try to rely on me to do things for them. My brother things being older means being the boss. Completely unrelated things.
 

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I'm the middle child of three sisters. I don't think that's a bad thing.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/field-guide-families/201210/the-secret-powers-middle-children

"Yes! Middles are not embittered wallflowers—they are social beings and great team players. If middles are so resentful and bitter, why are they more cooperative and trusting in their friendships? And why are they such successful leaders? Fifty-two percent of our Presidents have been middles. Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, and Madonna—all are visionary middles with strong leadership qualities.

Although middles are neglected, both by parents and researchers, they actually benefit from this in the long run. They become more independent, think outside the box, feel less pressure to conform, and are more empathetic. This gives them great skills as employees and also makes them excellent team players and partners.

Middles are more driven than we think. Most people see firsts as having drive and ambition but middles do, too, it’s just directed elsewhere. Middles are more oriented to principles and concepts, like justice, over earning power or prestige—for example, suffragette Susan B. Anthony and the Polish freedom fighter Lech Walesa. Middles are often motivated by social causes. And when they do enter into a more traditional business, they are great innovators and team leaders, such as Bill Gates."

"They are trailblazers, like Charles Darwin and William Dell. Middles are more likely to effect change than any other birth order. This is because of the combination of risk-taking and openness to experience leads to a willingness to try new things. One study, for example, showed that 85 percent of middles were open to new ideas like cold fusion compared to only 50 percent of firsts."

"A study we conducted showed that middles are more open-minded and adventurous about sex, but less likely to stray when in a monogamous relationship than other birth orders. An Israeli marital happiness survey shows that middles are the happiest and most satisfied in relationships, and that they partner well with firsts or lasts—but less well with other middles because they may both avoid conflict."

"Be aware that middles don’t cry wolf: A study of teens revealed that although middles are far less likely to attempt suicide than other birth orders, when they do, they are eight times more likely to need medical intervention."

The last part is a bit chilling. I hope that was just a poorly done study.

I admit to avoiding conflict. If it's a stranger, I can be very confrontational. But when it's someone I know, I tend to non-confrontational. I've dated two guys and both were only children.
 

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Hmm I have wondered this too.

I will say its hard for me personally to tell myself, I was in an odd family in regards to that dynamic. I was the middle when my parents were married was the typical "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" (lol to be fair my parents had both said they were hardest on me) As a young child both my siblings were from different other parents. My dad had my eldest sister in a separate marriage. My parents had me together but then separated for like 3 years, when my mom conceived my baby sis with another guy, but then eventually got back together with my dad. So both my sisters left all the time and had other people impressing them when they left for the weekends and my parents often indulged their love to win favor between the other homes. (Again not in my head my parents acknowledged this when I grew up that they were hardest on me because I was right there in front of them and they felt they had more to prove to my other sisters leaving the home in and out every weekend). So anyways was the middle and eldest as a young child. Middle when eldest sis was around and the eldest during most weekdays. My dad and mother were both hard as hell on me. My eldest sis they often spoiled a lot because she lived primarily with a terrible mother and didn't want her to rebel ever from punishments and wanted her to want to be there, my baby sis was ironically not my dads biological child but his favorite (they thrift shopped and hoarded together lol). Anyways I would say my place was almost taken forgranted with my parents because they were trying to prove much more to the two people leaving often and I was just there expected to be grateful, lol. My sisters resented that I was the one that had my parents together (lol yeah the one to witness most of their partying and fights too as they were often gone at other parents).

Anyhoo yeah when my parents divorced then I was suddenly the eldest and youngest depending at which home I was at.

I would say tho I primarily grew up the eldest sibling tho. But yeah I was still the baby to my eldest sis and my dad once my parents split on weekends, but my day to day life was usually the eldest child most frequent.

Anyways so you heard a bit of my story. That said tho I have seen eldest children that really take on a responsible role, but I have also seen eldest children that are spoiled. It seems to highly depend on the family, the dynamic, and the gaps in years with children.

My eldest daughters dad was by far the most favored child in his family, and he received the most emotional support and spoiling being the eldest child.

While my youngest daughters dad was the baby of his family and he was the one that received the most spoiling and emotional support.

Lol which is why I look for the grown child more like myself now that was not the most privileged child of their family. So anyways it really depends on the family. I am not sure that I think that automatically a baby of a family is always the most babied for example, as I have seen some babies of family not be babied. It depends greatly. All I know is that after my two most serious relationships being with either the eldest or youngest but both being the most favored or emotionally or finiancially spoiled children of the family I avoid those types. I don't want the baby of the family whether they are the eldest or the youngest or middle is not what makes them the baby of the family.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hmm I have wondered this too.

I will say its hard for me personally to tell myself, I was in an odd family in regards to that dynamic. I was the middle when my parents were married was the typical "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" (lol to be fair my parents had both said they were hardest on me) As a young child both my siblings were from different other parents. My dad had my eldest sister in a separate marriage. My parents had me together but then separated for like 3 years, when my mom conceived my baby sis with another guy, but then eventually got back together with my dad. So both my sisters left all the time and had other people impressing them when they left for the weekends and my parents often indulged their love to win favor between the other homes. (Again not in my head my parents acknowledged this when I grew up that they were hardest on me because I was right there in front of them and they felt they had more to prove to my other sisters leaving the home in and out every weekend). So anyways was the middle and eldest as a young child. Middle when eldest sis was around and the eldest during most weekdays. My dad and mother were both hard as hell on me. My eldest sis they often spoiled a lot because she lived primarily with a terrible mother and didn't want her to rebel ever from punishments and wanted her to want to be there, my baby sis was ironically not my dads biological child but his favorite (they thrift shopped and hoarded together lol). Anyways I would say my place was almost taken forgranted with my parents because they were trying to prove much more to the two people leaving often and I was just there expected to be grateful, lol. My sisters resented that I was the one that had my parents together (lol yeah the one to witness most of their partying and fights too as they were often gone at other parents).

Anyhoo yeah when my parents divorced then I was suddenly the eldest and youngest depending at which home I was at.

I would say tho I primarily grew up the eldest sibling tho. But yeah I was still the baby to my eldest sis and my dad once my parents split on weekends, but my day to day life was usually the eldest child most frequent.

Anyways so you heard a bit of my story. That said tho I have seen eldest children that really take on a responsible role, but I have also seen eldest children that are spoiled. It seems to highly depend on the family, the dynamic, and the gaps in years with children.

My eldest daughters dad was by far the most favored child in his family, and he received the most emotional support and spoiling being the eldest child.

While my youngest daughters dad was the baby of his family and he was the one that received the most spoiling and emotional support.

Lol which is why I look for the grown child more like myself now that was not the most privileged child of their family. So anyways it really depends on the family. I am not sure that I think that automatically a baby of a family is always the most babied for example, as I have seen some babies of family not be babied. It depends greatly. All I know is that after my two most serious relationships being with either the eldest or youngest but both being the most favored or emotionally or finiancially spoiled children of the family I avoid those types. I don't want the baby of the family whether they are the eldest or the youngest or middle is not what makes them the baby of the family.
Oh ok. That's interesting. I read about quasi - only child last year. I think I'm a quasi - only child. So I'm a quasi younger only child because I have a age gap between my siblings which is more than six years. Lol I read quasi only children are selfish :p. Sometimes I can be.
 
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@Cinnamon83 - Very different from my experience. I had strict, religious parents in an abusive household. Me and my sister's were very close growing up. We didn't really make friends at school. We were dependent on each other and didn't trust other people. I couldn't count on or trust my parents. But I could count on and trust my sisters. We tried to shield the youngest from Dad, but I don't think it worked. I wouldn't say she got babied. I don't think anyone got babied in our house. Our house wasn't exactly typical either.
 

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I'm the stereotypical eldest child.

DH, though, I'm not sure what qualifies. He's a younger (fraternal) twin. But has another sister 7 years his junior.
 
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I'm an only child an I tend to get involved usually with other onlies (not necessarily literally) or eldest children.
 
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I've heard that people often date someone who is in the complementary sibling position (not sure how backed up this is, my parents are family therapists and its something they learned about in training). I'm an oldest of two (younger brother), we're close in age and very close, and I tend to date guys who are youngests, but have some combination of typical oldest and youngest qualities. But I wonder how personality plays into it, like do people tend to date people whose types are similar to those of their siblings? I feel like both the sibling position and type thing could be because you're comfortable with what you grow up with.
 
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