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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I was goin out with an INFP and right from the start the chemistry was good. After about a month she jus decides to back out saying we should just be friends then changes her mind again saying we should take it slow.

Flaky. Confusing. Totally blindsided me as it came out of nowhere. It was when I made a joke about sex which is nothing new because we've joked about it repeatedly with her being the instigator.

I'm quite affected by this and even if she is the first INFP I've gone out with... I don't think I want to anymore. Y'all need to get your heads and hearts checked because you guys are f*cked up. Leading on people then quitting on them.

So help me understand because I sure as hell won't ask her. I wanna be done with it.
 

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don't take it so harshly. i'm seriously this way. since she wants to try again she really does want to, she probably feels really self conscious now too and is probably scared what you think. you should try to be a little softer and tell her that its okay or somethin
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah I was pretty upset the other day. I get quite intense when I feel strange emotions. I just don't know how to approach her now. Plan is to just act cool the next day and be warm to her still. I like her but I'm also defensive since I know how manipulative women can be whether they intentionally intend to be or not.

But thanks for some nice clarification.
 

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Yeah I was pretty upset the other day. I get quite intense when I feel strange emotions. I just don't know how to approach her now. Plan is to just act cool the next day and be warm to her still. I like her but I'm also defensive since I know how manipulative women can be whether they intentionally intend to be or not.

But thanks for some nice clarification.
i would bring it up if i were you. its probably bugging her too.
 

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It's her choice. There's nothing you can do about it. People sometimes think relationships are contracts. You could've done the same to her, and she would've questioned your actions till exhaustion, but at the end of the day ... it's your life, and you more or less determine the course. Next time you enter a similar situation, try to understand that.

Take everything as a wake up call. She just saved you from a larger headache. Imagine she dropped this bomb after years of dating.

Just keep on pushin' man.

And you shouldn't "INFP-ENTP" the world ... its more complicated than that.
 

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Well, I myself am a INFP and my girlfriend is INFP as well. We are romantically interested in each other for over 4 months, of which 2 are officially in relationship 'status'. I can tell you that during the first 3 months both me and she had our moments of sudden serious doubt whether we seriously wanted this to work / or if it would work in the end at all / or if the other person is all that we ever wanted / or are equal to our idealistic dreams / etc etc

There were some scary moments .... you think all is going well but then all of a sudden it hits her or me and we come with an absurd thought like it does not feel ''right'' so it is probably not wat I want.

Just ... pull through, stay positive and above all supportive and show that you understand her concerns or sudden feelings/thoughts/doubts.

My relationship is still getting better by the day (although every time we think we can't possibly love each other even more deeply and passiontely). It is also getting more and more interesting and we don't stall in these 'i love you' conversations in which that is all that there is being said.

If you truely love her then you wouldn't sound like you were giving up already after 1 confused discussion. Sometimes it is better not to immediatly overthink everything ... if you can't, then an INFP is not someone for you i fear
 

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This makes me laugh. I know it is not funny, but it makes me laugh. I have done what this girl did, in the past.
It seems to me you freaked her out in some way, that usually led to this kind of behavior with me. I would also like to add, to mend your wounds, that I learned from this behavior and eventually I did not do it anymore.

You need to talk with her and you need to start the talk. She will probably run away with arms flailing in the air. Follow her, make her comfortable. Talk.

If she still wants to be done with you, accept it. It is her choice. Remember, we are masters at masking our emotions. She might not have been as happy as you thought she was.
 

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This just sounds like normal relationship drama not typical INFP behavior. Can you even be 100% sure she WAS an INFP? I find it offensive you would call us fucked up just because you met a girl who may or may not have been an INFP and probably has relationship issues. How do you even know that it is HER fault? Maybe you are the one at fault. Your claim is unfounded when you look at it. I understand that it probably was a blow to you and made you feel upset but you shouldn't take this as "INFP bitches be crazy". If it didn't work out. It didn't. You only knew her for some time I am guessing so there is probably more to her then you thought. As an INFP, that is something I would never do. I don't know whether this due to being an INFP or not but not everyone of that type is like that. Your personality type doesn't make you who you are. It just attempts to describe you. I am sorry that it didn't work out but I think you may need to relax. Tell her you that you want a clean break because you obviously both don't want the same thing. If she is pulling your heartstrings and putting you in pain then don't have a relationship with her. It's that simple. Who knows what is up with her? Don't see this as a negative connotation of an INFP. I am certainly not like this and s millions of other INFPs won't be either. MBTI isn't a manual where you can check up what typical behavior alludes to what for an INFP. Like I said, I am sorry it didn't work out but you might need to re-check your statement there.
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well, I myself am a INFP and my girlfriend is INFP as well. We are romantically interested in each other for over 4 months, of which 2 are officially in relationship 'status'. I can tell you that during the first 3 months both me and she had our moments of sudden serious doubt whether we seriously wanted this to work / or if it would work in the end at all / or if the other person is all that we ever wanted / or are equal to our idealistic dreams / etc etc

There were some scary moments .... you think all is going well but then all of a sudden it hits her or me and we come with an absurd thought like it does not feel ''right'' so it is probably not wat I want.

Just ... pull through, stay positive and above all supportive and show that you understand her concerns or sudden feelings/thoughts/doubts.
Nailed it right there. I picked up on it right away from the start. I guess what drew me to her was the fact she was holding so much emotion and passion in her and I sort of want to bring it out or revel in it.

This makes me laugh. I know it is not funny, but it makes me laugh. I have done what this girl did, in the past.
It seems to me you freaked her out in some way, that usually led to this kind of behavior with me. I would also like to add, to mend your wounds, that I learned from this behavior and eventually I did not do it anymore.

You need to talk with her and you need to start the talk. She will probably run away with arms flailing in the air. Follow her, make her comfortable. Talk.

If she still wants to be done with you, accept it. It is her choice. Remember, we are masters at masking our emotions. She might not have been as happy as you thought she was.
Bahaha. The arms flailing part is hilarious. And yes, I've picked that up from her right since day one.

This just sounds like normal relationship drama not typical INFP behavior. Can you even be 100% sure she WAS an INFP? I find it offensive you would call us fucked up just because you met a girl who may or may not have been an INFP and probably has relationship issues. How do you even know that it is HER fault? Maybe you are the one at fault. Your claim is unfounded when you look at it. I understand that it probably was a blow to you and made you feel upset but you shouldn't take this as "INFP bitches be crazy". If it didn't work out. It didn't. You only knew her for some time I am guessing so there is probably more to her then you thought. As an INFP, that is something I would never do. I don't know whether this due to being an INFP or not but not everyone of that type is like that. Your personality type doesn't make you who you are. It just attempts to describe you. I am sorry that it didn't work out but I think you may need to relax. Tell her you that you want a clean break because you obviously both don't want the same thing. If she is pulling your heartstrings and putting you in pain then don't have a relationship with her. It's that simple. Who knows what is up with her? Don't see this as a negative connotation of an INFP. I am certainly not like this and s millions of other INFPs won't be either. MBTI isn't a manual where you can check up what typical behavior alludes to what for an INFP. Like I said, I am sorry it didn't work out but you might need to re-check your statement there.
Wohoho. Someone didn't mask their emotion here.

Well anyway. All is well. Drama over. For now. I'm better equipped to handle shit like this now.

My assumption is I freaked out too because one of the main things that freaks me out or makes me pissed off is when something abrupt transpires and I can't comprehend why.
 

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^
What do you expect? Your post is filled with unmasked emotion too which holds a rather offensive connotation to us INFPs. Like I said, it sucks that it happened and I can understand that it affected you but you shouldn't walk away thinking ill of an INFP due to one individual who may or may not even be one. It's too much of an assumption to say all of us do that and we are all unstable emotionally and mentally. That is all I am saying because "Y'all need to get your heads and hearts checked because you guys are f*cked up. Leading on people then quitting on them." is a pretty bold and irrational statement. Yes I am being a little defensive here but you have used some bitter words there. I understand why you have said them but I am just hoping you don't REALLY think that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
^
What do you expect? Your post is filled with unmasked emotion too which holds a rather offensive connotation to us INFPs. Like I said, it sucks that it happened and I can understand that it affected you but you shouldn't walk away thinking ill of an INFP due to one individual who may or may not even be one. It's too much of an assumption to say all of us do that and we are all unstable emotionally and mentally. That is all I am saying because "Y'all need to get your heads and hearts checked because you guys are f*cked up. Leading on people then quitting on them." is a pretty bold and irrational statement. Yes I am being a little defensive here but you have used some bitter words there. I understand why you have said them but I am just hoping you don't REALLY think that.
No I didn't. I just put that in there to get some strong authentic answers. When you insult people they tend to insult back. And usually an insult is as authentic as you can get ;)

Sorry.
 

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Hmm. This is actually amusing since I had an ENTP do something very similar to me. Completely flaky and indecisive. So it's not an INFP thing, it's an individual person thing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Hmm. This is actually amusing since I had an ENTP do something very similar to me. Completely flaky and indecisive. So it's not an INFP thing, it's an individual person thing.
It's the "P" thing actually lol :p
 

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It's the "P" thing actually lol :p
Actually, not necessarily. I can't speak for all ENFPs but when I'm in a relationship, it would take a LOT to get me to break up with the guy. I'm not indecisive at all, when I choose the guy, I'm committed. Which is why it was so frustrating when the ENTP suddenly changed his mind on me.

Though I am a demisexual so that's probably more to do with that than my type.
 

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INFPs are astute mirrors in relationships. If we sniff out the slightest hint of rejection, we'll go ballistic. I'm guessing you (intentionally or unintentionally) hurt your INFP.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
INFPs are astute mirrors in relationships. If we sniff out the slightest hint of rejection, we'll go ballistic. I'm guessing you (intentionally or unintentionally) hurt your INFP.
Whaaaa. So by suggesting sex I can hurt her?? Hmmmm :rolleyes:
 

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No I didn't. I just put that in there to get some strong authentic answers. When you insult people they tend to insult back. And usually an insult is as authentic as you can get ;)

Sorry.
Well, this is what I think most of the time as well, even as an INFP :) ... but you have to learn when this is applied best. Mostly with stubborn pure rationals this is an excellent way the clear the air, and it is even enjoyable. At some point I made a sport of it. Be rude and insult (while still being honest and true) as much as I could, while still being able to make them appreciate me in the end, fucking priceless!!

But that was the old me, with my INFP girl I can't do this, we would break up ASAP then. And she changed me as well because whenever I feel the slightest tension or mini-drama evolving between us I get really strong averse feelings towards it. I don't want tension/drama/negative atmosphere/aura's WHATEVER you want to call it ... it creeps me out and makes me sad. So in that perspective she softened me up and made me a better person when handling feelings of my own when ''I'' don't like things ... but ya, it is not only about me, it is about us :kitteh:
 

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INFPs are astute mirrors in relationships. If we sniff out the slightest hint of rejection, we'll go ballistic. I'm guessing you (intentionally or unintentionally) hurt your INFP.
^ true
 

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No I didn't. I just put that in there to get some strong authentic answers. When you insult people they tend to insult back. And usually an insult is as authentic as you can get ;)

Sorry.
If you thrive on such a system, it's no wonder your INFP left. We despise conflict.
Whaaaa. So by suggesting sex I can hurt her?? Hmmmm :rolleyes:
I don't know the INFP in question. However, you probably shocked her, which is enough to trigger her bat-crazy Te side.
 
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