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INFPs are known to be hard on themselves. When we make mistakes (or we think we make mistakes) we spend the majority of our time regretting and beating ourselves up. It's an unproductive behavior, if not self-destructive when taken to the further length. I admit that I'm one of the people.

So the purpose of this thread is to express your distressing feelings/thoughts, the situations that create them (you don't have to try to explain the others' view of points, you don't have to try to explain anything; just express situations as you see yourself), and add, "But that's okay" at the end. If you killed another person, well, that's a whole different story.

In other words, to forgive yourself for being an imperfect human.

Ex.
Last night I fell down the stair, and accidentally scared my cat and made her leap ten feet high in the air. After that she hides whenever I use the stairs. I feel sorry. But that's okay.




Let's go!
 

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A couple of weeks ago, I went out with a best friend to watch a hockey game, we decided to watch it at an infamous hipster bar. My friend is vegan and buddhist and never ever drinks. At a certain point he said to me, "oh one won't kill me", 12 pints later we were dancing with an indie band who turned neil young and tom wait songs into ragtime renditions, and having a great old time laughing, a really good night.

We finally got out of there at closing and I thought to myself, for a guy who's had maybe 5 beers in his entire life he's doing pretty good. One block later he was projectile vomiting and fell to the ground. I wound up carrying him home, getting him inside his house and walking away.

I can't stop thinking that his wife, who doesn't like me that much to begin with, must be just hating me and blaming me for it all. He missed taking his daughter to ballet class the next morning. And I guess I can't stop blaming myself and feeling ashamed that I should have stopped him from drinking and been the responsible one, since I'm a thousand fold more experienced.

But we were having a great time, the most happy I've ever seen him and he did initiate the drinking not me, and he is a grown man and they'll get past this, I hope. My other friend , once I told him the story, said... hey you aren't a babysitter he knew what he was getting into. So yeah I've got to let this go and stop blaming myself and worrying about the way his wife is going to treat me in the future. I'm happy he's ok and has a sort of fun time to remember in the future when he can laugh about it. So I absolve myself of this guilt as of now !!
 

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I beat myself up for being so dogmatic and for ever dominating someone else. It's hindering my personal growth and it's natural, but it is not on a leash either. But that's okay because I'm still growing as a person, and I am in control.
 

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I was part of a group project during mz last semester in university to analyze a local business and develop an improvement plan and give recommendations. We chose a Restaurant and the Owner was super friendly and agreed to various interviews and told us all his business decisions and problems to help us write the report and we promised him a copy of the recommendations so he could implement some.

The problem was that we had to write it in English but he only spoke German so I would have had to translate it, but at the end of the semester, I was so busy with all the final exams and stuff that I could not do it, so the Owner never heard back from us. I feel bad, because he is probably still waiting for recommendation.

... But thats ok, but still when I will ever go back to the town of my university I will stop by to apologize and bring him a copy (even if it is in 15 years)
 

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I am very hard on myself. Every time someone doesn't give me the desired response, looks at me in disappointment, says I am a bad guy, calls me stupid/lazy or that I'm annoying/waste of space I blame myself.

I blame myself for not being what my idealism wants me to be. I blame myself for not being able to do my part to provide a happier world. I blame myself for cultural guilt as well, not directly but more as a proxy from being part of that culture.

I blame myself for many things. Often I can blame myself for thinking bad enough of others (or being self-righteous enough) to blame them for my problems.

On one occasion in particular though (it was back in 2008) I raised my voice and became impatient at a very sweet girl who was on the phone to me in my call centre job. I was having a bad day AND an existential crises and the poor thing found herself in the middle. I said nothing out of turn, but I came across as rude if not a bit angry. I raised my voice and started pressing her for a response (I needed to end the call to go clear my head.) What was worse is that she was of foreign descent (her accent suggested Eastern European) so perhaps she wasn't totally fluent in English.

There were a few awkward silences and at the end of the call she said "Sorry!" in a very apologetic tone. I will never forget that. As silly as it is I feel bad whenever I think of it. I will never know who she is, but if I ever spoke to her again (if she even remembers) I will tell her I'm sorry too. Now whenever I speak to someone with a similar accent I find myself being calmer and softer to them on the phone. To create a more relaxed and comfortable call for the sweet person on the other end.

But if she doesn't remember nor thought little of it, then I suppose it's okay.
 

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I was part of a group project during mz last semester in university to analyze a local business and develop an improvement plan and give recommendations. We chose a Restaurant and the Owner was super friendly and agreed to various interviews and told us all his business decisions and problems to help us write the report and we promised him a copy of the recommendations so he could implement some.

The problem was that we had to write it in English but he only spoke German so I would have had to translate it, but at the end of the semester, I was so busy with all the final exams and stuff that I could not do it, so the Owner never heard back from us. I feel bad, because he is probably still waiting for recommendation.

... But thats ok, but still when I will ever go back to the town of my university I will stop by to apologize and bring him a copy (even if it is in 15 years)
Why not delegate it to a freelancer? You can easily find someone on Elance/Guru (freelancing sites)
 

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The last three times I tried to be nice to someone were fiascos. But that's ok, I'll learn.
Long ago, a couple of people have been nice to me and I didn't appreciate it at the time and I still don't think that's ok.:frustrating:
 

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Didn't bring my A game to a group project last term. But that's ok. It's in the past.
 

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I always say things I regret in real life, or write things i regret on the internet. I should really chill out and stop being paranoid, even if I did say something stupid it's ok.
 
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