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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The title says it all. Without going into detail and bore you all to tears, what causes an ENTP to become butthurt, over sensitive to the point they take things out of context, and make it very personal. This is my second ENTP experience over the past few Mts that left me banging my head * Now i know you are weirdo's like me, but....really :shocked: And before you ask, " are you sure this person is an ENTP ". Yes, i am certain they are ENTP :ninja::ninja:

What makes ENTP want to hurt people , purposely for the sake of it ? If an ENTP is hurt, would they want to drag you down to their level to make sure you feel their pain ? This is the second ENTP to act this way towards me. They were butthurt over something they couldn't control, reacted in a way to make sure if they had to hurt, so did I. In general i like ENTP, but when they get their snot on, it makes me want to bite them, claw them, and cut them . Irritating creatures they are.:ninja::ninja:

Thanks in advance :)
 

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MOTM Nov 2012
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Sensitive?

Knee me in the groin and I may tear up :sad:


Other than that the most dismissive thing you can do that may result in butthurttedness from me is shooting me and my ideas/suggestions/WAYS OF IMPROVING THE UNIVERSE down without listening or reason or being willing to challenge me with debate. Oh, and ignoring me when I'm excited is akin to a knee to the groin.

There is no grudge holding though, too much effort.

What did you do, and are they normally a douche?
 

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Yes, agreed. Ignoring, or dismissing ideas without rhyme or reason would be a way to get on my bad side.

Also agreed on grudges: I decided they were a waste of time when I was 11.
 

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Are you sure they are hurting you on purpose? ENTP can somehow become a jerk and they dont feel it. I think the only reason an ENTP deliberately hurt people is to tell them to stay away or tell them that what they are doing is wrong. Even so, an ENTP would talk first with reasons, if the person isn't listening, the entp might hurt that person.
 

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If you ignore or just outright disrespect me, then I will shred you to pieces in the most vicious and entertaining way... for me. I also react this way to bullies - I'll just ignore you for a while but if you're so intent on disrupting my life then you awaken a volcano ready to erupt merciless, self-esteem-breaking taunts and attacks.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone, so what i am hearing is, you don't like being ignored. Well this might explain A LOT. I did ignore both at some point, i didn't realize that they needed so much attention. I didn't ignore their ideas, i simply couldn't spend time with them when they wanted too. I mean we have lives outside of our friendships right ? I mean i got door slammed by both of these people, i thought only INFJ were that sensitive. They both thought sabotaging the relationship was more important than telling me what was bothering them. Wow, i didn't think ENTP were so damn needy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Are you sure they are hurting you on purpose? ENTP can somehow become a jerk and they dont feel it. I think the only reason an ENTP deliberately hurt people is to tell them to stay away or tell them that what they are doing is wrong. Even so, an ENTP would talk first with reasons, if the person isn't listening, the entp might hurt that person.
Yes, i'm sure they are doing this on purpose. They both struck out and punched me in the face. Not literally, they honed into what they knew would hurt me the most, then POW, take this.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Sensitive?

Knee me in the groin and I may tear up :sad:


Other than that the most dismissive thing you can do that may result in butthurttedness from me is shooting me and my ideas/suggestions/WAYS OF IMPROVING THE UNIVERSE down without listening or reason or being willing to challenge me with debate. Oh, and ignoring me when I'm excited is akin to a knee to the groin.

There is no grudge holding though, too much effort.

What did you do, and are they normally a douche?
What did i do ? I did what they perceived as ignoring them. It wasn't done out of spite on my behalf, i have a life , it gets busy, i don't always have time for my friends. And yes, both parties held grudges towards me.
 

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Well if you cant spend time with them just tell that you have some important matters, that you need to take care of, i have an enfp friend that ignores me sometimes, for like a long time and then suddenly comes back like hi i want to be your best friend again, i take such behavior disrespectful, and usually out of the door. Im not sure if its neediness, sometimes i just want to know why person X doesent want to spend time with me if i make and effort to do something, if no explanation comes then i might take it as insult if it happens in row many times. Maybe its just a Fe thing, like if you show no respect then i will not respect you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Well if you cant spend time with them just tell that you have some important matters, that you need to take care of, i have an enfp friend that ignores me sometimes, for like a long time and then suddenly comes back like hi i want to be your best friend again, i take such behavior disrespectful, and usually out of the door. Im not sure if its neediness, sometimes i just want to know why person X doesent want to spend time with me if i make and effort to do something, if no explanation comes then i might take it as insult if it happens in row many times. Maybe its just a Fe thing, like if you show no respect then i will not respect you.
We are both married, with families, we have a life outside of our friendship. I did explain to him that i was busy, it didn't matter to him, he expected me to put my life on hold to cater to him first. That is disrespectful. We can only give so much of ourselves, but he wanted me to give and give, and if truth be told, i didn't get near as much back as i gave.

I understand your frustration with your ENFP friend, we can be easily distracted with other things, new things. It doesn't mean we care any less about you, it only means that we need new experiences. I think you're right with the Fe thing, and i don't know how to help him with that. Do you have any suggestions how to be gentle with Fe when a person is hurting, because i'm completely alien to what they need.
 

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I'm not sure if i'm a strange ENTP or what. My feelings almost never get hurt. I certainly don't become offended.

"I'm a white male. How many advantages can one person have? You can't even hurt my feelings!" - Louis CK
 

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I think he seems a bit depressed or in low-mood area that may cause clingy behaviour, i guess you should be direct with him, like hey i have my life that i need to take care of, im not responsible to make you happy, trying to hint it is useless for NT-s in my opinion and may cause even more confusion.
 

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What did i do ? I did what they perceived as ignoring them. It wasn't done out of spite on my behalf, i have a life , it gets busy, i don't always have time for my friends. And yes, both parties held grudges towards me.
To be clear, when I say ignore I do not mean 'not spending time with me', I mean being there in front of me and literally ignoring or dismissing me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
To be clear, when I say ignore I do not mean 'not spending time with me', I mean being there in front of me and literally ignoring or dismissing me.
That is exactly what i did, dismiss him, told him i had to go, my family was waiting for me. He took offense to that when he should have been understanding. This is an all or nothing kind of guy, and when he can't gets what he thinks he deserves, he will punish you. If he hurts, we all hurt. Selfish he is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I think he seems a bit depressed or in low-mood area that may cause clingy behaviour, i guess you should be direct with him, like hey i have my life that i need to take care of, im not responsible to make you happy, trying to hint it is useless for NT-s in my opinion and may cause even more confusion.
I was direct with him, this is what caused the door slam . He plays with my head, he loves games, and doesn't care who he hurts along the way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I think he may have feelings involved with you, too much rustle for just a friend.
Agreed, i know that. Why do men hate to be friendzoned, especially married ones. I mean, there isn't a logical reason for any of this accept the fact that he is attracted to me, but still.....what i want to know is how i can make him understand on a rational level that men and women can be friends without having all that emotional baggage. I'm not available emotionally , sexually, or physically, but i am available mentally.
 

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ENTPs I think need social affirmation, to be liked, beneath their veneer of anarchist/mad scientist in charge. I do find it ironic/hypocritical that being ignored hurts their feelings when they are often complete flakes/derelicts themselves.

You guys do realize you rudely shut down/cut off/ignore things that don't "interest" you right? Respect is earned. I would not put up with that sort of fit from my close ENTP friends, and I know how to lay on the perspective (not sweetly).

Still, if you can humor a little hypocrisy, I think they put a lot of care into their ideas, and deserve leniency. They can be really great friends......if they want to :/
 
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