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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This will be fun for us girls to hear! Are you a slow mover or fast mover? What if you super like the girl? Does it mean you slow down or speed up? Do you watch for signs that she likes you back at each step? Is she the one driving and that's how you like it? Or are you in the driver's seat? Tell us 馃檹 pretty please...
 

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This will be fun for us girls to hear! Are you a slow mover or fast mover? What if you super like the girl? Does it mean you slow down or speed up? Do you watch for signs that she likes you back at each step? Is she the one driving and that's how you like it? Or are you in the driver's seat? Tell us 餀 pretty please...
I don't persui women anymore. Been in a relationship for nearly 20 years and happily so. But before that, I wouldn't really persui women. I would first figure out if she likes me too and if not,... I'm not going to waste my time on it.... Done.

There are women that like to play hard to get. Bad idea with someone like me. You lost me already. If you麓re like that before the relationship, you'll be even more difficult in the relationship.

I'm in the driver's seat,... of a boeing 747. Those have 2 pilots. That's how I like it. I take initiative, but expect the same from her as well. And that's what my relationship with my wife is like.... perfect!
 

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Well, y'know, I already answered this for Alesha but since this is a new topic I'll say it again.

I'll pursue women (and men). Yeah, I look for signs that she likes me but I'm not going to look for confirmation before moving forward. The way I see it is the confirmation will be in if she says yes or no to me when I make the first move.

I'm not going to say that I wouldn't like her to make the first move, I guess I wouldn't mind but I've for no expectations for that and even in this day and age people are still old fashioned enough to expect the guy to go first.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well, y'know, I already answered this for Alesha but since this is a new topic I'll say it again.

I'll pursue women (and men). Yeah, I look for signs that she likes me but I'm not going to look for confirmation before moving forward. The way I see it is the confirmation will be in if she says yes or no to me when I make the first move.

I'm not going to say that I wouldn't like her to make the first move, I guess I wouldn't mind but I've for no expectations for that and even in this day and age people are still old fashioned enough to expect the guy to go first.
Yes! This is what I expect! It seems respectful to be asked upfront and then it's our role/our turn to be honest. Don't string you along. My husband just said: " The difference between a mature relationship and an immature one is honesty." And there is courage involved in the honest but also respect for a person's time and feelings. Thank you very much for laying that out!
 
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I don't think I have a style, I don't flirt, or play games. I dislike the idea, even dating to an extent. I'm a very... fairy tail, fall in love type. I just go about life until I fall for someone, and then hopefully they will like me in return after we interact for some time. Like me for me. Be good friends first, and if something clicks, it clicks.

Now if I get close to you in a friendship and I feel for you, I'll be flirtatious with you. I'll playfully tease at times. I'll most likely point out or hint innuendos a lot, either directly or indirectly. I'll want to spend a lot of time around you. I'll tell you what I find captivating about you in conversations when they come up appropriately.

I do make the best of some opportune moments if they come. If she is in her more vulnerable, emotionally sappy moments, such as times where they might share something more personal, or when they are in doubt of themselves, down or such, I'll be the comforter, but not just as a "friend" comforter, but I'll be sure to indicate that I'm caring for her because I love her, I'll tell her how special she is to me.

Or if they are more the self assured or confidant type without such moments, I'll just place very well timed compliments, in general regarding appearance, that I'm glad to see them, etc . An authentic form of complimenting, as opposed to pick up lines and such, but done in the right situations.

I'll buy you gifts. Sometimes randomly "I thought of you". If I can find out what your passions or hobbies are, I'll buy something in regards to that.

I do seem to make it clear that I like a person when I do. I'll often just say eventually if there is a good connection between us.

Other than that I tend to use a lot of body language, I'll make lots of eye contact, certain facial gestures. I may attempt body contact if trying to break a barrier or get the point across. I might use certain physical opportunities to hold a hand etc, but done in a way where it's not just *grabs your hand in awkward manner". Example "feel how cold my hands are!", but I'll smile at you if you do indeed hold my hand and we have a closeness, if not, then I'll leave such an act very casual and won't make anything "special about it". But, going a long way in implanting emotions and actions of intimacy. Creating opportunities to say "hey I like you". But, knowing the right time and how they will most likely respond is essential if you don't want to come across as a creeper.
 
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This will be fun for us girls to hear! Are you a slow mover or fast mover? What if you super like the girl? Does it mean you slow down or speed up? Do you watch for signs that she likes you back at each step? Is she the one driving and that's how you like it? Or are you in the driver's seat? Tell us �� pretty please...
None.
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Case by case basis, ma'am, case by case . . . You're each of you an individual, y'know. I dance with a partner, not at a partner.
Yes, important-- and shows your talent/finesse in this area.
 
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Funny! I enjoyed the videos! ����
 
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I find dating fun (same reason I feel confident about job interviews, etc.), so I probably carry some confidence into dating. I mean, in terms of relationships, etc. people are on an even keel, and it's up to your relationship management and connection with your partner as to how that goes, but I feel like I'm more confident than the average person at the initial parts, because I know I am good at getting to know people (people call it "charm, honestly I think it's more experience).

That then has a knock-on effect on your confidence with flirting- I mean introverts like INFP/Js in particular have their own particular needs, but when you've had enough prior experience with specific types of people you pick up that sort of intuition too.

Honestly, I don't expect things to go wrong when I pursue someone, but there is some element of "picking the right people" as well.
 

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What I'm good at - picking up and reading the vibes of others. When I pursue someone, there is already an unspoken language of affection towards one another. With that, I navigate the realm of attraction. As the forces pull us together, the attraction grows stronger until asking the girl out on a date is natural and mutual. From there, I continue to use intuition and Fi to determine how I feel about the person. I haven't been in many relationships. The first few, I knew early on it wasn't forever. My relationship now with an INTJ is different. I told her tonight as we laid there just that. "My first few relationships, I knew it wasn't right. With you, this is different and I want to let you know that I really like you." She said, "for the record, I really like you too." Slow and steady. Always follow your noses ENFPs.
 

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What I'm good at - picking up and reading the vibes of others. When I pursue someone, there is already an unspoken language of affection towards one another. With that, I navigate the realm of attraction. As the forces pull us together, the attraction grows stronger until asking the girl out on a date is natural and mutual. From there, I continue to use intuition and Fi to determine how I feel about the person. I haven't been in many relationships. The first few, I knew early on it wasn't forever. My relationship now with an INTJ is different. I told her tonight as we laid there just that. "My first few relationships, I knew it wasn't right. With you, this is different and I want to let you know that I really like you." She said, "for the record, I really like you too." Slow and steady. Always follow your noses ENFPs.
Yeah! [Splashes on some quality cologne. Sits down and waits patiently.]
 

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This will be fun for us girls to hear! Are you a slow mover or fast mover? What if you super like the girl? Does it mean you slow down or speed up? Do you watch for signs that she likes you back at each step? Is she the one driving and that's how you like it? Or are you in the driver's seat? Tell us 馃檹 pretty please...

Hello, I'm new to the forum, so I figured I'd reply make a fool out of myself to set the standards low from start. : )


My style would be one of deep observation. To even wake my interest, it's probably someone in my near vicinity that I have observed for a very long time. Some people are harder to read than others, and it's important for me not to go with first impressions, since those are most likely based in very few facts.

So during maybe 6-12 months, I observe the person in question how she acts around other people and what her values and interests might be. This way I find out both if she would at all be interested in a guy like me and how well we match together.

If she after all that time, is still single. I'd try to sneak in to end up in situations where we have common interests to initiate contact. By this point things should go fairly fast, since we are matching enough to appreciate each others company. I do adapt my speed to whatever I see that she's comfortable with.


Well...this is the theory. In practice, what happens, is that during these 6-12 months they end up with someone else, and I go home alone... I've learned the hard way that none of girls I find matching as a life partner stay single for very long. :sad:


A much quicker and preferred approach would be if a woman that is interested is brave and open enough to just come up and tell me this. I'd immediately start analyzing and evaluate our differences, asking questions and telling her my worst sides. Might as well start with the problems eh? No one likes bad surprises late in the relationship. Besides, if my worst sides doesn't scare her off, she's probably a keeper. :D

Even though this way is not really socially accepted and a bit unorthodox, it actually did happen to me once with an ESTJ. It did turned out fairly well and we were together for 5 years. Unfortunately, as most people age, their values tend to change a bit as time goes on, and after those 5 years we realized we no longer wanted the same things in life. There was never any hard feelings or plates flying through the air though.


So in short, I prefer the woman to initiate contact, it speeds things up and even if we don't end up matching, I'm very open minded and would never hold it against someone. Worst case, you've gotten a friend that appreciate you being honest and direct.

If that doesn't happen, it's the slow way, which you most likely won't even notice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Yeah! [Splashes on some quality cologne. Sits down and waits patiently.]
Oh no no no no, Odinthor, you can't deny us girls the pleasure of being chased. Go find some ENFP girls please! Then let us know every detail!!!
 
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