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Hello everyone!

I was feeling a little down recently and i was writing some lines about that. And I would be very interested if any INFPs can relate somehow to this and what you are doing if you find yourself in these type of situations:

The constant yearning for…SOMETHING! can drain an INFP more than a marathon. As an INFP you feel almost never fulfilled or satisfied with what you have. If you have somehting, you want either more of that or something completely different. There is this fire inside of you which tells you that you can achieve something really great and awesome and you are on fire thinking about that for some moments. But then everything starts falling down and you arrive back in reality where nothing is closely as great or awesome as your dreams. Maybe you have always dreamt about moving to another city or starting a new Job or career and as an INFP you set your expectations high. Very high. But of course, life is not your expectations and what happens is your are pushed back to earth again. And again. Until the day where you realize that you have to make a decision: Do you want to continue setting high expectations and hoping for an awesome life which presents itself to you on a nice plate? Or do you want to face reality and accept every single peace of shit of it and live a mediocre life like 99% of the population does? And thats exactly the point – one of INFPs biggest fears is to be ordinary. Every time you accept a new job position you think maybe it’s going to turn out fine. Even great. You imagine yourself having your dream job. And then you have your first and second and third day at work and you realize that you haven’t been farther away from your dream job in your whole life. You get scared and claustrophobic. And you start to realize that for around 95% of the population your job wouldn’t be the cause for an existential crisis. They would be happy to have a job and they wouldn’t question it for a second. You are aware of that but you can’t fight the feeling of being stuck. You ask yourself „Is that it? Is that’s what other people call „life“?“ You always assume – and are actually pretty sure about it – that there exists something bigger and greater than a daily boring routine. But then doubts start to appear. You remind yourself of the fact that in the end we’re all going to die and no matter how big you achievements have been in your life, you’ll be dead one day. So what’s it all for? What’s the meaning? And you could vomit every time you hear this word. „meaning“ – you know that in the end it’s bullshit because life simply has no meaning. And you know that but you don’t want to accept it. And you also don’t want to accept that still you have to work and be displined and all that shit while doing it. Because you know all this is for exactly NOTHING in the end. Then you remind yourself oft he fact that although life has no meaning, you can still enjoy it and have a lot of fun and make the best out of it. And you get a spark of hope. Because you feel clever now. Like a person who has gone through a lot of shit and finally arrived somewhere where there is light. But this positive feeling doesn’t last too long as you can’t ignore your very strong urge for finding meaning. You want to throw it away and ignore it forever but it’s not possible. It’s like being hungry or thirsty. You can ignore those urges for some time but if you resist them too long, you will probably die. And it’s the same with your inner drive to find meaning in everything. If you resist it too long you will not die physically, but emotionally. You start to be a sad and emotionless machine and the only thing you focus is on surviving. You know you have failed. But you don’t have any energy or willpower to start getting great again...

Thank you very much for reading this to the end! :) And sorry for any mistakes, english is not my native language. I am very interested in your thoughts about this. Is this a common INFP thing to feel like this or is it just me? And if you ever got caught up in a vicious cycle like this, how did you get out? :)
 

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I never dreamed too big, to be honest. My biggest ambition is to leave something behind that could hold some meaning to a bunch of people. Being well-known by everybody and super famous just sounds overwhelming and like it's too much pressure for me; I don't really need any of that. I alway set my bar as low as 'I want to be known, but by a niche that would truthfully appreciate what I've done, if they can' (if what I did was worthwhile); that sort of level.

I don't know about expectations, but I do see where you're coming from. I go into life expecting this new development to finally be my lucky break. I expect it to finally be that time where I have fun with people I can consider my friends, and when I'll finally do something meaningful... Only to get there and see that nothing really changed. Sucks for me; time for another existential crisis. Woo...! The shit part about jobs is that you can see how horribly it drains people's motivations to do what they actually want to do. I'm young, so I haven't experienced it yet, but it just takes looking towards other people to see how that affects them. All these ambitious projects tend to be done by people in college or something, and it seems to be because adults are too busy working to do what they've always wanted to do, and they've accepted that by now. They accepted that that's how it should be (not all of them, but still).

It's really saddening to see how tired people look after work. They just want to rest. And then? What can they do? They don't have the money to invest on their interests while keeping financial stability, and free time is just as lacking. Without money and time, what can you do in this society? And somehow, people think that they can do everything they want if they just 'work hard enough'. They're already working hard enough! What part of having a job is not working hard enough?! No, they have to work even harder lol, as if what they do already isn't grueling enough; what an insult. I don't think for a second people are happy about having a job. Most people hate that part of their life; they do it so they can support the things they really care about, which are their family and the money necessary for them to live. Granted, some people will like their jobs, but that's not the majority. I really don't know how some people can go about saying things like people with low-paying jobs aren't working hard enough and that's why they're not well-off ("Oh they were lazy in school" as if talented people couldn't go through school almost effortlessly anyway; it sure doesn't help that the school system in general is bad). Complete bullshit.

Society sucks in this aspect. At least, from my perspective. Still, I get where you're coming from, so, as an INFP, I can relate. I do seem to yearn for SOMETHING. I'm not even sure what it is, but I just want it to happen. However, will I even get it? What's the point, if I'll never be satisfied? What's the point, in general? But then again, to think of it in that perspective is in and of itself a waste of my life, as thinking of life as meaningless will get me nowhere. Then, how about if change were achieve and things got better? Oh, wait, that's a thing that doesn't happen. Society will probably only get as better as I would've liked many many centuries in the future, and I'll be dead by then. Well, shit. What's gonna happen in my life? My biggest fear is to waste my life away without having done something I consider impactful. I fear that maybe I should be doing all these things before it's too late, but then I verify that I can't anyway because I've no funds for it and no concise direction to take. It's pretty depressing.

Still, I got to live with it, and it's not always sad. I'm probably still in the better stages of life. Either way, this is a good thread. I'd love to know other people's thoughts.
 

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Hello everyone!

I was feeling a little down recently and i was writing some lines about that. And I would be very interested if any INFPs can relate somehow to this and what you are doing if you find yourself in these type of situations:

The constant yearning for…SOMETHING! can drain an INFP more than a marathon. As an INFP you feel almost never fulfilled or satisfied with what you have. If you have somehting, you want either more of that or something completely different. There is this fire inside of you which tells you that you can achieve something really great and awesome and you are on fire thinking about that for some moments. But then everything starts falling down and you arrive back in reality where nothing is closely as great or awesome as your dreams. Maybe you have always dreamt about moving to another city or starting a new Job or career and as an INFP you set your expectations high. Very high. But of course, life is not your expectations and what happens is your are pushed back to earth again. And again. Until the day where you realize that you have to make a decision: Do you want to continue setting high expectations and hoping for an awesome life which presents itself to you on a nice plate? Or do you want to face reality and accept every single peace of shit of it and live a mediocre life like 99% of the population does? And thats exactly the point – one of INFPs biggest fears is to be ordinary. Every time you accept a new job position you think maybe it’s going to turn out fine. Even great. You imagine yourself having your dream job. And then you have your first and second and third day at work and you realize that you haven’t been farther away from your dream job in your whole life. You get scared and claustrophobic. And you start to realize that for around 95% of the population your job wouldn’t be the cause for an existential crisis. They would be happy to have a job and they wouldn’t question it for a second. You are aware of that but you can’t fight the feeling of being stuck. You ask yourself „Is that it? Is that’s what other people call „life“?“ You always assume – and are actually pretty sure about it – that there exists something bigger and greater than a daily boring routine. But then doubts start to appear. You remind yourself of the fact that in the end we’re all going to die and no matter how big you achievements have been in your life, you’ll be dead one day. So what’s it all for? What’s the meaning? And you could vomit every time you hear this word. „meaning“ – you know that in the end it’s bullshit because life simply has no meaning. And you know that but you don’t want to accept it. And you also don’t want to accept that still you have to work and be displined and all that shit while doing it. Because you know all this is for exactly NOTHING in the end. Then you remind yourself oft he fact that although life has no meaning, you can still enjoy it and have a lot of fun and make the best out of it. And you get a spark of hope. Because you feel clever now. Like a person who has gone through a lot of shit and finally arrived somewhere where there is light. But this positive feeling doesn’t last too long as you can’t ignore your very strong urge for finding meaning. You want to throw it away and ignore it forever but it’s not possible. It’s like being hungry or thirsty. You can ignore those urges for some time but if you resist them too long, you will probably die. And it’s the same with your inner drive to find meaning in everything. If you resist it too long you will not die physically, but emotionally. You start to be a sad and emotionless machine and the only thing you focus is on surviving. You know you have failed. But you don’t have any energy or willpower to start getting great again...

Thank you very much for reading this to the end! :) And sorry for any mistakes, english is not my native language. I am very interested in your thoughts about this. Is this a common INFP thing to feel like this or is it just me? And if you ever got caught up in a vicious cycle like this, how did you get out? :)
Idk about every INFP, but I feel like I relate almost word for word.

And how did I get out the vicious cycle? I just got tired of being sad lol, I had to find something that made me happy. I know it's not the glorious epiphany we want when we are depressed, but being depressed after awhile us INFPs can even become bored with that lol. And I usually get out of depression the fastest when I get an idea I want to create. It's like I feel like crap, but then idea pops into my head, usually artistic, and I say "I wanna see if I can make that happen" and my depression becomes a distraction to making that thing happen.

Also my search for meaning hasn't ended at all, I can't throw it away, it grounds me, it's only seen as "bad" when it gets in the way of day to day activities.
 

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I never dreamed too big, to be honest. My biggest ambition is to leave something behind that could hold some meaning to a bunch of people. Being well-known by everybody and super famous just sounds overwhelming and like it's too much pressure for me; I don't really need any of that. I alway set my bar as low as 'I want to be known, but by a niche that would truthfully appreciate what I've done, if they can' (if what I did was worthwhile); that sort of level.

I don't know about expectations, but I do see where you're coming from. I go into life expecting this new development to finally be my lucky break. I expect it to finally be that time where I have fun with people I can consider my friends, and when I'll finally do something meaningful... Only to get there and see that nothing really changed. Sucks for me; time for another existential crisis. Woo...! The shit part about jobs is that you can see how horribly it drains people's motivations to do what they actually want to do. I'm young, so I haven't experienced it yet, but it just takes looking towards other people to see how that affects them. All these ambitious projects tend to be done by people in college or something, and it seems to be because adults are too busy working to do what they've always wanted to do, and they've accepted that by now. They accepted that that's how it should be (not all of them, but still).

It's really saddening to see how tired people look after work. They just want to rest. And then? What can they do? They don't have the money to invest on their interests while keeping financial stability, and free time is just as lacking. Without money and time, what can you do in this society? And somehow, people think that they can do everything they want if they just 'work hard enough'. They're already working hard enough! What part of having a job is not working hard enough?! No, they have to work even harder lol, as if what they do already isn't grueling enough; what an insult. I don't think for a second people are happy about having a job. Most people hate that part of their life; they do it so they can support the things they really care about, which are their family and the money necessary for them to live. Granted, some people will like their jobs, but that's not the majority. I really don't know how some people can go about saying things like people with low-paying jobs aren't working hard enough and that's why they're not well-off ("Oh they were lazy in school" as if talented people couldn't go through school almost effortlessly anyway; it sure doesn't help that the school system in general is bad). Complete bullshit.

Society sucks in this aspect. At least, from my perspective. Still, I get where you're coming from, so, as an INFP, I can relate. I do seem to yearn for SOMETHING. I'm not even sure what it is, but I just want it to happen. However, will I even get it? What's the point, if I'll never be satisfied? What's the point, in general? But then again, to think of it in that perspective is in and of itself a waste of my life, as thinking of life as meaningless will get me nowhere. Then, how about if change were achieve and things got better? Oh, wait, that's a thing that doesn't happen. Society will probably only get as better as I would've liked many many centuries in the future, and I'll be dead by then. Well, shit. What's gonna happen in my life? My biggest fear is to waste my life away without having done something I consider impactful. I fear that maybe I should be doing all these things before it's too late, but then I verify that I can't anyway because I've no funds for it and no concise direction to take. It's pretty depressing.

Still, I got to live with it, and it's not always sad. I'm probably still in the better stages of life. Either way, this is a good thread. I'd love to know other people's thoughts.
YEEEEES, EXACT SAME! That fear kills me. And what you said about people working hard enough I never hear it put like that before but yes I completely agree. Seems like people are just working hard to just work even harder. That is not LIFE to me. There's no fulfillment in that to me at all.
 

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It is relatable... I dream big, but the cycle you talked about interrupts my vision and ideas. I get literally trapped in my own world and start to drown in my questions. That is my cycle. That is why I am practicing doing instead of thinking to much. I write down the idea and then I wait a day to see what I was thinking and then later judge it to see if it stupid and unreachable or way out of place which is usually is. :tongue:
 

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I can definitely relate. It is a fine line to tow between reality and fantasy for an INFP, but I do believe meaning can be found, as long as you are actually basing it off real experiences instead of making up ‘what could be’ in your head. INFPs search for meaning because we want to constantly be growing and emotionally stimulated – who wants to be stagnant?

However, it’s especially difficult for us to actually go search for that stimulation. It requires us to get out of our comfort zones, face our fears, and try new and different things. The few times that I’d broken this cycle of yearning was through my own action and will. I had to break the automatic responses I so often had, “No, I can’t go on that hike… it’s too dangerous and I’m scared of heights.” “No, I can’t talk to her about it… we had a falling out and it’s just not going to work.” I realized that nothing ever falls into your lap in life, you have to grab it. Not everything you try will be meaningful, but I swear INFPs are pros are finding it and you will know it when you feel it.

Of course.. I have a hard time taking my own advice. I can tell I've been too bored lately, so at the very least I'm going to parks I haven't been to before and exploring the trails. Starting small, but it's better than feeling nothing or imitating meaning through TV shows. This has just been my experience though and I’m sure for others it might be different.
 

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@silvs , there are two types of INFP: a) the asertives and b) the turbulents.

You and me are turbulents, we always are looking ways to improve, which in certain way it means we are not satisfied with what we have/are. This not a bad behavior because if we focus this energy in the right direction, we can achieve great results.

I trully understand you thoughts about the "9-6" lifestyle, I think you shouldn't say mediocre life because is not fair for them but yeah I agree with you that is an ugly lifestyle.

One BIG problem turbulents have is perfectionism, we always aim to high, we put irrealistic goals, and the worst thing is we don't see it, we think our expectations are normal, but they aren't. Perfectionism is like a soft poison, is harmful but you don't feel it because is soft.

I guess you live under huge amount of stress, right? I know it because I lived in that way, the last 8 times I went to the doctor, all of them told me my symptoms are caused by stress. After stress comes depression. I lived 2 years with that shit, because the gap between my dreams and reality was too big and I did't want to accept it.

What can you do? start to work on being an IMPERFECTIONIST, re-learn to put your goals. "Life does not have to be perfect, to be wonderful"

I strongly recommend you these books (you can find them on Amazon): a) Do It Scared; b)How to Be an Imperfectionist

BTW, I also feel that "burn" that make me think I can do great thing. I haven't achieved the flame, but I'm working on it, I know I can do it, I just need to carefully focus myself on keeping my feets on the ground.

PD: Is Spanish your mother tonge? If so, I can talk about this for hours and share with you more information I've learned.

Greetings

Charly The Rabbit
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thank you very much for what you wrote! I think its really helpful! And yes you are right, one of my biggest Problems is that i am a perfectionist and a turbulent INFP. I'd Like to become more assertive, but its still hard haha.
My mother tongue is not spanish (I'm from austria) but I understand spanish quite well so I'd like to hear more about what you know/can say about this topic! You can write me in spanish if you want.

Greetings! :)
 

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@silvs , there are two types of INFP: a) the asertives and b) the turbulents.

You and me are turbulents, we always are looking ways to improve, which in certain way it means we are not satisfied with what we have/are. This not a bad behavior because if we focus this energy in the right direction, we can achieve great results.

I trully understand you thoughts about the "9-6" lifestyle, I think you shouldn't say mediocre life because is not fair for them but yeah I agree with you that is an ugly lifestyle.

One BIG problem turbulents have is perfectionism, we always aim to high, we put irrealistic goals, and the worst thing is we don't see it, we think our expectations are normal, but they aren't. Perfectionism is like a soft poison, is harmful but you don't feel it because is soft.

I guess you live under huge amount of stress, right? I know it because I lived in that way, the last 8 times I went to the doctor, all of them told me my symptoms are caused by stress. After stress comes depression. I lived 2 years with that shit, because the gap between my dreams and reality was too big and I did't want to accept it.

What can you do? start to work on being an IMPERFECTIONIST, re-learn to put your goals. "Life does not have to be perfect, to be wonderful"

I strongly recommend you these books (you can find them on Amazon): a) Do It Scared; b)How to Be an Imperfectionist

BTW, I also feel that "burn" that make me think I can do great thing. I haven't achieved the flame, but I'm working on it, I know I can do it, I just need to carefully focus myself on keeping my feets on the ground.

PD: Is Spanish your mother tonge? If so, I can talk about this for hours and share with you more information I've learned.

Greetings

Charly The Rabbit
I was responding to charly the rabbit (my last answer). Still having some problems with this page...:)
 

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Oh I think I can relate. There's a hollow feeling of 'something's missing!' I feel..incomplete..

You want something fixed and good in your life amid everything shadowy and absurd. Something eternal.

Please realize that your pain is in many ways self-inflicted. It may be necessary for you to create your own meaning.

I see these feelings as a reflection of a greater whole..at least..this is my personal view.
 

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Hey @silvs Ive sent you a private message with more info about your concerns. I hope you could find it helpful

Grüße und wünsche Ihnen alles Gute (I hope google translate it right :p)

Charly The Rabbit
 

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Hey @silvs Ive sent you a private message with more info about your concerns. I hope you could find it helpful

Grüße und wünsche Ihnen alles Gute (I hope google translate it right :p)

Charly The Rabbit
Hey Charly the Rabbit!
I received the message in my Inbox, but i cannot Open it :/ could you maybe try to send it again?

And yes, google translated it right! :)
Saludos!
 

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Hey @silvs Ive sent you a private message with more info about your concerns. I hope you could find it helpful

Grüße und wünsche Ihnen alles Gute (I hope google translate it right :p)

Charly The Rabbit
hey Charly The Rabbit, I've sent you a private message, I hope you received it :) Saludos!
 

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The mission given to INFPs (and INTPs) is to integrate their Self, in the Jungian sense.

To become what they can potentially be, ever more completely.

All INTPs/INFPs are intelligent, but being intelligent is not enough to create in the fields of science, literature and humanities.
If they also to be very highly intelligent -- enough to create -- they'll create cultural artifacts while creating themselves.

Otherwise, they'll still be authors: their own.

The sense of boundlessness and indefiniteness is normal.
Since their thoughts, desires and feelings are not informed by society's cast, but self-made, they are hard to define. You can't use socially-manufactured definitions, and give yourself the illusion that those are your thoughts and feelings.

And since there's no end to the ego's exploration of one's soul and unconscious... the actualization and integration of the self is an endless task.

There is no goal, except that of constantly walking towards (personally chosen) goals.
 

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Hello everyone!

I was feeling a little down recently and i was writing some lines about that. And I would be very interested if any INFPs can relate somehow to this and what you are doing if you find yourself in these type of situations:

The constant yearning for…SOMETHING! can drain an INFP more than a marathon. As an INFP you feel almost never fulfilled or satisfied with what you have. If you have somehting, you want either more of that or something completely different. There is this fire inside of you which tells you that you can achieve something really great and awesome and you are on fire thinking about that for some moments. But then everything starts falling down and you arrive back in reality where nothing is closely as great or awesome as your dreams. Maybe you have always dreamt about moving to another city or starting a new Job or career and as an INFP you set your expectations high. Very high. But of course, life is not your expectations and what happens is your are pushed back to earth again. And again. Until the day where you realize that you have to make a decision: Do you want to continue setting high expectations and hoping for an awesome life which presents itself to you on a nice plate? Or do you want to face reality and accept every single peace of shit of it and live a mediocre life like 99% of the population does? And thats exactly the point – one of INFPs biggest fears is to be ordinary. Every time you accept a new job position you think maybe it’s going to turn out fine. Even great. You imagine yourself having your dream job. And then you have your first and second and third day at work and you realize that you haven’t been farther away from your dream job in your whole life. You get scared and claustrophobic. And you start to realize that for around 95% of the population your job wouldn’t be the cause for an existential crisis. They would be happy to have a job and they wouldn’t question it for a second. You are aware of that but you can’t fight the feeling of being stuck. You ask yourself „Is that it? Is that’s what other people call „life“?“ You always assume – and are actually pretty sure about it – that there exists something bigger and greater than a daily boring routine. But then doubts start to appear. You remind yourself of the fact that in the end we’re all going to die and no matter how big you achievements have been in your life, you’ll be dead one day. So what’s it all for? What’s the meaning? And you could vomit every time you hear this word. „meaning“ – you know that in the end it’s bullshit because life simply has no meaning. And you know that but you don’t want to accept it. And you also don’t want to accept that still you have to work and be displined and all that shit while doing it. Because you know all this is for exactly NOTHING in the end. Then you remind yourself oft he fact that although life has no meaning, you can still enjoy it and have a lot of fun and make the best out of it. And you get a spark of hope. Because you feel clever now. Like a person who has gone through a lot of shit and finally arrived somewhere where there is light. But this positive feeling doesn’t last too long as you can’t ignore your very strong urge for finding meaning. You want to throw it away and ignore it forever but it’s not possible. It’s like being hungry or thirsty. You can ignore those urges for some time but if you resist them too long, you will probably die. And it’s the same with your inner drive to find meaning in everything. If you resist it too long you will not die physically, but emotionally. You start to be a sad and emotionless machine and the only thing you focus is on surviving. You know you have failed. But you don’t have any energy or willpower to start getting great again...

Thank you very much for reading this to the end! :) And sorry for any mistakes, english is not my native language. I am very interested in your thoughts about this. Is this a common INFP thing to feel like this or is it just me? And if you ever got caught up in a vicious cycle like this, how did you get out? :)
omg, this is amazing. i can relate to every word. you summed it up very well - nothing to ad. also,you are a good writer. greetings from Croatia ;)
 

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Nope, tbh.
 
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