NOTE: I posted this on the INTP forum but many there suggested my friend may indeed be an INTJ. Based on what I've read of each type, he certainly does seem to have more J traits such as being a detailist, and is obsessed with strategy. There are many more traits but for the sake of time I'll not post the laundry list.
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ETA: This person and I were friends for about a year before it became physical.
I'm an ENFX and good friends with an INTJ . We have sex on a regular basis, and go out on dates. I consider him to be a close friend however we've now had enough disagreements that I've wanted to cut him out of my life. I have such a strong reaction because a) I care for him, b) I enjoy our relationship when it is good but c) no matter how much we work on trying to understand each other I still feel resentment because I've noticed I've begun to censor myself. I feel like I must chose the friendship or express my point of view (which he doesn't always take seriously and his biting remarks only fuel my growing fear that he'll finally deliver a verbal blow that will hurt me too much to continue any kind of relationship with him).
Is he trying to drive me away? Has he decided I protest too much and is waiting for me to just give up?
If the above is not true then I know I must create some distance. If I tell him that his ways are making me want to leave despite the fact that to him he has tried hard to communicate and show he cares for me I know he'll just close up and show me the door.
If you were him, would you prefer that I quietly spend less time with you and therefore (hopefully) the drama would be reduced or would you rather I said what I explained in the first paragraph and then show myself to the door?
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ETA: This person and I were friends for about a year before it became physical.
I'm an ENFX and good friends with an INTJ . We have sex on a regular basis, and go out on dates. I consider him to be a close friend however we've now had enough disagreements that I've wanted to cut him out of my life. I have such a strong reaction because a) I care for him, b) I enjoy our relationship when it is good but c) no matter how much we work on trying to understand each other I still feel resentment because I've noticed I've begun to censor myself. I feel like I must chose the friendship or express my point of view (which he doesn't always take seriously and his biting remarks only fuel my growing fear that he'll finally deliver a verbal blow that will hurt me too much to continue any kind of relationship with him).
Is he trying to drive me away? Has he decided I protest too much and is waiting for me to just give up?
If the above is not true then I know I must create some distance. If I tell him that his ways are making me want to leave despite the fact that to him he has tried hard to communicate and show he cares for me I know he'll just close up and show me the door.
If you were him, would you prefer that I quietly spend less time with you and therefore (hopefully) the drama would be reduced or would you rather I said what I explained in the first paragraph and then show myself to the door?