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Discussion Starter #1
INFJs are known to be very sensitive, unsettled by constant conflicts, take things too personally and prone of stress.

My question will be, is there any INFJ here who works (or had ever worked) in a highly competitive, nasty environment where each of your friends today can turn into your enemies on the next day?

Have you ever been surrounded by people who observe every single step you made, wishing to catch you doing or even trying to make you do mistake?

Any experience with bully co workers?


How do you deal with that?
In case that you have other bad experiences at work, you're very welcome to share it here.
 

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Yes. I know it well. It's a normal enough situation, however unpleasant.
INFJs are very reactive, until they realize how to not be.
The key is to stop reacting, and especially to stop reacting in a way that "shows" the other people that you have.
Be unmoved. And stop trying to show anyone you are unmoved by their behavior.
You are a rock. That's all. A rock does nothing. Nothing at all. Kick it and you hurt your foot. Insult it and you look silly.
Laugh at it and it remains - a rock :)
 

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It is very hard for me to be in a stressful work environment. Right now in fact, things at my work are terrible and I don't even tlak to my boss, in fact I avoid him. Any one who has read my posts knows he is INTJ, and we all know that they don't usually broadcast their stress much. Apparently, it is getting to him also because I can actually feel his stress, along iwth all of my co workers stress. I now go to lunch alone, I don't talk to anyone except my clients, and I avoid all things work related. I feel stressed out all the time. I do have that INFJ so called "turn off/shut down" feature where we just zone out and don't really seem like we are there, so that has helped, but I have to work on it more so I am not completely tuned out to life at work.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Yes. I know it well. It's a normal enough situation, however unpleasant.
INFJs are very reactive, until they realize how to not be.
The key is to stop reacting, and especially to stop reacting in a way that "shows" the other people that you have.
Be unmoved. And stop trying to show anyone you are unmoved by their behavior.
You are a rock. That's all. A rock does nothing. Nothing at all. Kick it and you hurt your foot. Insult it and you look silly.
Laugh at it and it remains - a rock :)
Seems that you've discovered your own way to deal with such environment. Could it possibly because you belong to 'Thinking' category?
Or ... does 'experience' play a more important role here?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
It is very hard for me to be in a stressful work environment. Right now in fact, things at my work are terrible and I don't even tlak to my boss, in fact I avoid him. Any one who has read my posts knows he is INTJ, and we all know that they don't usually broadcast their stress much. Apparently, it is getting to him also because I can actually feel his stress, along iwth all of my co workers stress. I now go to lunch alone, I don't talk to anyone except my clients, and I avoid all things work related. I feel stressed out all the time. I do have that INFJ so called "turn off/shut down" feature where we just zone out and don't really seem like we are there, so that has helped, but I have to work on it more so I am not completely tuned out to life at work.
The exact same thing happens to me. I tend to withdraw every time I sense the stress level on my colleagues.

I work in a matrix organization. Used to report to two managers.
My direct manager is an infp. The other manager is an estj.
The two do not get along very well.
 

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Yes. And we can even play those politics. I am proof of that. We have the capability to plan, to forsee situations, to understand people - and should it come to it, manipulate them, for whatever gains we see fit. All it takes to succeed is some practice.

I've gotten rehired against the odds before, because I made people fight for me.

I've struck blows that would normally have me fired. But I set my position to be unfireable.

I've taken blows for my manager, and received improvements to my job for doing so.

I've deflected problems, played the blame game, been quiet when it was profitable to do so, been strong and pointed out problems when it was right to do so, and played all the politics that would keep me on the winning side. I've done things that would help my boss. I've done things that would bring down my boss. We can...but we generally won't.

I generally only do the positive politics (making whom I choose to look good). But don't test me, I can do the negative (making whom I choose to look bad).
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Yes. And we can even play those politics. I am proof of that. We have the capability to plan, to forsee situations, to understand people - and should it come to it, manipulate them, for whatever gains we see fit. All it takes to succeed is some practice.

I've gotten rehired against the odds before, because I made people fight for me.

I've struck blows that would normally have me fired. But I set my position to be unfireable.

I've taken blows for my manager, and received improvements to my job for doing so.

I've deflected problems, played the blame game, been quiet when it was profitable to do so, been strong and pointed out problems when it was right to do so, and played all the politics that would keep me on the winning side. I've done things that would help my boss. I've done things that would bring down my boss. We can...but we generally won't.

I generally only do the positive politics (making whom I choose to look good). But don't test me, I can do the negative (making whom I choose to look bad).
Can I know what's your boss's personality type? Must an 'N' since he / she is open to new ideas / changes
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Yes, we are more than capable of doing these things, also.

I choose not to as it would be untrue to myself, and leave me feeling fake. I hate fake people. I would rather walk away whole and intact than to play the game and give up part of my soul.
I have very high standards of morality myself... I couldn't even stand watching people switching side so easily just because 'one' person suddenly becomes popular.

But again...... I have a person called 'me' to take care of at the end.

Bullies tend to pick on the same victim all the time.
 

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I could never be involved in work politics and I would have a breakdown in the kind of environment you described:( Bullying and lying and trying to tear each other down... I can't take that.
 

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They've generally been N. I've had a few S, and they don't generally approve or disapprove of my actions visibly. But even S types can recognize benefits of improved political stance or funding.
 
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It is so hard. I think it probably becomes more manageable with age and experience but it's horrible for the body.

I had a hard time when I was a volunteer working within an NGO that was pretty dysfunctional a few years back. I was friends with people at various levels of the NGO, including the head, and they would all talk to me about their problems and about how they feel about each other. They would bitch to me about how hard it is to get shit done with such and such person, or give me a story about how hard it is to be effective in their role when they're getting all this trouble from so and so, but then when they're face to face with that person they would be all "fake friendly" and co-operative. There were some people who were making life more difficult for others, but nothing ever got addressed. There was this fake front and all this hopeless turmoil behind it.

I wasn't even the receipient of the backstabbing and I found it really, really hard to work in this environment. It actually left me feeling quite traumatised for months, maybe even years, afterwards. Maybe that sounds extreme but I was so depressed to see how poorly people can work together in an organisation that was supposed to help people. Not only did they not help the people they're supposedly working for, but they continually created this ugly working world. I also found it hard to be the one that everyone came to talk to to spill all their woes (mostly because no one was ever going to change their perception or behaviour). It was a world of selfishness, and people turning to this drama and the "cover story" of working in a good-doing NGO in order to avoid what was really lacking in their own lives and selves.

So... um. Big story over. I didn't really survive in that working environment. I got quite sick and quite sad by the end of it. The upside is that I think I would do better in that environment now. I am better at being firmer with people and I know that it matters to contribute to the right tone myself, not simply sit passive and receptive.

But honestly, my goal is to have a main, regular working environment where there is co-operation, respect and honesty. Maybe even goodwill! I might have to move through crap ones to get there, but I don't want to have to spend most of my working days in a poisonous, shitty workplace.

Edit: The other thing I want to add is that usually when there is all this crap going on with office politics, I would tend to doubt how effective, efficient and productive the place ultimately is.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I bet that anyone here would agree that organizations would work more effective and efficiency with open communication that encourages trusting relationships between : us and our managers, our managers and other managers, and all other people across various levels.

We all are idealists after all. :(

However, in the real world, such environment are very difficult to find, or even impossible to create. Even if we succeed in convincing others to do so.

Have any body here ever worked in such ideal working environment? What was your position in that organization?
Does it look ideal only because we are being protected by somebody inside the organization (your boss, for example)

Yes... I have now suffered from acute insomnia, head aches, mild cold and fever every now and then. Is it just like another phase in my life that I need to go through?
 

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the ideal working environment is one where our team is working to kick other team's asses. which leads to us having comfortable environment. The only place I've found where politics doesn't really play a role is small software startups - because they work with the idea that they do what makes sense.

Greed drives politics and greed drives the "it doesn't make sense, that's why we do it" model. Remember, inefficiency lines *somebody's* pockets. Efficiency benefits the company. Inefficiency benefits one person now. And as the management layers get stacked higher, the more likely there's some greedy guy sitting around who's just going to ruin the 'logical' working environment for everyone.

those ideas spread like wildfire, because if one guy's doing it, why shouldn't everyone else on his layer? and the people above and below him? It doesn't even need that many of them to get it started. One turns into a few turns into a small percentage of the company and politics is born, even though most people would rather the company be successful.
 
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In a word no! I do not handle stress or conflict very well at all. Under normal conditions I tend to be a very sweet easy and nice going person, but when I am pressured with a lot of stress and conflict I have a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde transformation. I can't deal with it so I lash out at others and take my anger out on the people who are causing me this stress. I do not work well with others or work well under a lot of stress. I tend to get very angry quickly when I am overstressed and overworked and I feel my world is out of control. I don't like the sinking ship feeling in my gut and it can drive me to the point of hating everyone I worked with for years even after I left that job. I am like a nuclear time bomb that is about to explode and cause damage to everyone around me when I can't handle stress or conflict.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Hope that I hadn't been too provocative with my words....

I totally agree with the domino effect caused by one or two bad seeds in the company.... It's mostly like an unannounced slogans for every body: Come and join us or you'll become the next victim.

I lashed out my anger towards couple of my colleagues as well... And I am not very proud of it. It even got back to me in the end.
I am now currently harboring such great hatred and anger towards my colleagues, even my bosses. It has reached the state of counter productive.
 

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Seems that you've discovered your own way to deal with such environment. Could it possibly because you belong to 'Thinking' category? Or ... does 'experience' play a more important role here?
Oh... Thinking probably has little to do with it. Thinking tells you to do what you think you should do. Experience is the slowest, hardest and best way :)
 

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Yes. I know it well. It's a normal enough situation, however unpleasant.
INFJs are very reactive, until they realize how to not be.
The key is to stop reacting, and especially to stop reacting in a way that "shows" the other people that you have.
Be unmoved. And stop trying to show anyone you are unmoved by their behavior.
You are a rock. That's all. A rock does nothing. Nothing at all. Kick it and you hurt your foot. Insult it and you look silly.
Laugh at it and it remains - a rock :)
I love rocks. They are so very hard and nice. I hug stone columns sometimes. Or walls. Or lay on the ground. People have seen me do it. I thank them for being what my fleshy body cannot. They appreciate it. I know they do.
 
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