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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
If an ISTJ is wallowing in self pity and being cold and selfish to others, is there a way to help them out of it, or at least get them to stop being mean to others?
 

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Can't you try their reset button?



(Also known as their belly button)
 

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It really depends on why they have settled into such a mood. If it's a common fluctuation, ride it out. Little can be done from the outside to change it. If there's been some sort of outside stimulus/change/event, it may help to figure out what that was and offer a listening ear (but be prepared to be turned down.)

Calling them out on this behavior will likely not result in change, and could, in fact, do more harm than good.
 

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MOTM May 2011
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Trying to change other people is pointless, since it can't be done.

What we can do is to become as emotionally healthy as we can be. By responding in an emotionally healthy manner, we can minimize their ability to hurt us through their behaviors, and it will encourage them to respond in a more emotionally healthy manner.
 

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I agree here, I'd say you should let them figure this out on their own.

-And...
Can't you try their reset button?

(Also known as their belly button)
I can't speak for other ISTJ's, but I personally think that is an excellent way for the button pusher to end up in the hospital, or at least put on the "not my friend" list. Belly button pokes/pushes are by invitation only, and so far none of those invitations have been sent out. Ever.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
What is causing him to wallow in self pity?
jealousy, others are getting what he wants, but the kicker is that he has so much more than what they have and doesnt want to look at the positive side and doesnt want to accept that no one gets everything they want, we all have to deal with problems from time to time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
You're right Mendi - you just don't do that to someone (especially not an ISTJ) that you're not in a really intimate relationship with.
yeah i know, you're a serious lot
 
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yeah i know, you're a serious lot
Not to be too serious - if any girl just wandered up to me and poked me in the belly-button out of the blue - that's just weird. Whether I know her or not.

IMO any guy who even allowed that has some serious problems with lack of personal boundaries.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Not to be too serious - if any girl just wandered up to me and poked me in the belly-button out of the blue - that's just weird. Whether I know her or not.

IMO any guy who even allowed that has some serious problems with lack of personal boundaries.
i get that, i dont typically touch people as a general rule
 

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Really? You don't?

I go around poking everyone in the belly button, just in case.

Particularly those reserved, quiet guys. They're the best.

You never know what might happen.

;-)

(Feel free to read with that irony font switched on. Yeah, you know the one :)
 
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Really? You don't?

I go around poking everyone in the belly button, just in case.

Particularly those reserved, quiet guys. They're the best.

You never know what might happen.

;-)

(Feel free to read with that irony font. Yeah, you know the one :)
Ha! Even SWMBO doesn't go there. :wink:

Sent from my Z10 using Tapatalk 2
 
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