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At the request or suggestion of Darkfiremat I am reposting a thread I started on our end of the forum.

I've been with the woman almost 2 years now. It is a long distance relationship mostly. She lives in the Caribbean and I in North America. I moved down there and lived there for about 6 months. Visited 2 times before that. Have not seen each other in 6 months.

Typical stress factors between an ENFP and ISTJ come up. Fine. It's all about whether they outweigh the positives gained from being romantically connected to someone on the complete opposite spectrum of the Types. Deal breakers.

Lately, we've both come to the conclusion that neither is happy. Needs are not being met. Especially because of the distance factor.

I just want to know whether I should finally, once and for all, just let go. Nobody can decide that for me, but I just want the educated opinion of my fellow Personality Gurus.

Noting that we are the best of the 16 types at personal relationships, do you guys believe that we are truly happiest with other NF's?
 

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Cafe Legend and MOTM Jan 2011
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I don't know if it works romantically or not, but my ISTJ dad gets along great with my ENFP brother. No conflicts. Lots of love. I think ENFPs can get along with pretty much anyone, and in this case, my dad is so mellow and charming that he'd be hard not to get along with, too. It might depend on the specific people involved, and whether they had other issues that might create conflict, besides type.

In your case, distance might be enough of an obstacle to outweigh whatever it is you value about each other, but the decision is ultimately personal. Just out of curiosity, what are the other possible dealbreakers and incompatibilities?
 

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Yep, I agree snail. I get along great with my ENFP mom. Barely had any conflict at all. In fact, I had more problems growing up with my INTJ dad then my mom(for obvious reasons). I also get along well with my little cousin who I'm almost positive is an FP of some sort.
 

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MOTM May 2011
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Noting that we are the best of the 16 types at personal relationships, do you guys believe that we are truly happiest with other NF's?
In response to the question in your heading--Yes.

In response to the question above--Not necessarily.

In response to your situation--It depends. But the distance does need to go away.

There is a long thread about this. Grab a cup of coffee and browse through the posts. You will find a lot of information in this link:

http://personalitycafe.com/istj-forum-duty-fulfillers/7682-istj-enfp-relationships.html

HTH
 

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Yep, I agree snail. I get along great with my ENFP mom. Barely had any conflict at all. In fact, I had more problems growing up with my INTJ dad then my mom(for obvious reasons). I also get along well with my little cousin who I'm almost positive is an FP of some sort.
Can I ask what are the obvious reasons as they weren't too obvious to me.
I seem to think that ISTJ's and INTJ's can get along pretty well for both are analytical, orderly, introverted, search for relevance and need evidence. I even think I read somewhere that a lot of ISTJ's have an INTJ friend.
 

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I have a brother and friend who are both ENFP. My brother and I fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but I don't really fight with my ENFP friend... It probably depends on the individuals involved, but I think your biggest problem is the distance.

@Petals. I have an INTJ friend! :happy: but i also have an INTJ step-dad (soon to be ex-step dad) whom my relationship is very rocky. He is very controlling, almost to the point of being abusive (it is especially directed at mt ENFP little brother)

OWL
 

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@Petals. I have an INTJ friend! :happy: but i also have an INTJ step-dad (soon to be ex-step dad) whom my relationship is very rocky. He is very controlling, almost to the point of being abusive (it is especially directed at mt ENFP little brother).
Hmmm...that's not good. I think controlling INTJ's are tolerable if they are speaking sense, are being reasonable and logical and not being too close minded (in fact, that might even be a good thing). Abusive INTJ's however is definitely not acceptable.

I see where you are coming from. Guess we can be a pain in ass. Haha...in fact a few INTJ's I have met weren't the best people I would like to be friends with. Anywho, best wishes for your future and thanks for the insight.:happy:
 

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Hmmm...that's not good. I think controlling INTJ's are tolerable if they are speaking sense, are being reasonable and logical and not being too close minded (in fact, that might even be a good thing). Abusive INTJ's however is definitely not acceptable.

I see where you are coming from. Guess we can be a pain in ass. Haha...in fact a few INTJ's I have met weren't the best people I would like to be friends with. Anywho, best wishes for your future and thanks for the insight.:happy:
To address the question earlier, my dad tended to be an "abusive" INTJ like you say. Perhaps this is more do to enneagram type rather than MBTI personalities, because I am a type 9(seems odd for an ISTJ) and he's type 1. This often lead to him being very picky about grammar and constantly wanted to review my schoolwork. From about high school on though, he's become much more open-minded and appreciative of what I do though(maybe age related). Even so, I know all he's done has been in his best interest for me and we actually have a pretty good relationship now.
 

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my enfp ex was really very superficial
 
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