[Ukulilu]

My boss is really grumpy 90% of the time. I'm a waitress and he owns the restaurant. He yells constantly, complains all the time, says mean things to us waitresses and sometimes he threatens (although he would never act on these threats) I only started working here three months ago and I've seen his nice side and his mean side.

For instance, sometimes he says,"Go home sweetie, you've worked hard today." or "I'm grateful you're working here."

And sometimes he says,"I bet the reason it's been slow this week is because you work here and nobody wants to see you."

He calls me sweetie or honey and sometimes when he sees me his whole face lights up and he just wants to know how I'm doing. And then sometimes he complains about me to the customers, who then tell him I'm actually a wonderful waitress and he'll get sarcastic and say,"Really? That's surprising."

I work hard at my job and give my very best every day. I don't believe in slacking on the job. Everybody makes mistakes and he knows that, because he says it all the time. So why is a guy who can be so easy going change his attitude in 2.5 seconds?

He's very into rules and he's hotheaded, cocky and believes he knows what's right all the time. He criticizes people a lot. I'm just soooo confused. How do I handle him? Why is he so angry and then happy and then angry again?

 

[BatFlapClap]

It's hard not to take this personally, but it likely isn't truly personal, not that he has any right to be so mercurial and cruel with you or any other employees. People are multi-faceted, and deal with stress in different ways. I'm sure owning a business is highly demanding, and causes people to act in ways that they might not out of that working environment. Unfortunately, some take that inward stress, and express it outwardly. Also, him being in a position of power really shifts the dynamic. His boss side will be what he is expected to present, and will be what he presents, if that makes sense. (This is also not taking into consideration any underlying mental illness/home stress/the thousands of other things that impact people).

Do you have someone to talk to after work? It can be therapeutic to just rant at someone! (A co-worker? Friend?)

Remember, even if this job seems like everything right now, it isn't, and there will be many other jobs you'll likely have, where bosses will be varying levels of kind and cruel. As long as you have a way to decompress after work, and as long as you realize that, yes, you are hard-working, and competent; this won't be so grim. AND hopefully you'll have a boss that recognizes that in the future, but really, keep recognizing that in yourself!