[nevermore]

So I'm pretty sure I'm a 5, but I have this obsession with emotional immersion. It's not my native state (anymore, at least), it's more of a distant ideal, but much to my chagrin I often end up retreating and detaching whenever I have a problem. I was wondering whether or not this was consistent with 5-ness. I am infatuated with the idea of immersing myself in emotions and it is a major goal in my life (whether or not I excel at it), but I am often too scared too...like it is too overwhelming. I identify with lot of four-ish traits like an obsession with image creation and self expression and actually get it a lot (perhaps most) of the time when I test, but all the detachment I experience seems to be at odds with it. I often feel at a disconnect from the world. I don't want to. I actually really hate it. Maybe I want the best of both worlds, like I want to experience the pleasure of emotions but from a safe distance, but inevitably that ends up diluting the experience, which depresses me. Would this be typical of a 5w4? How do you guys overcome it?

This is sort of related to another dilemma I'm sort of sorting out right now...the INTP/INFP question, but this is a separate issue and since I'm in a psychologically unhealthy state right now the emphasis the Enneagram places on self improvement and healing means it's almost more pressing, in a way.

 

[perennialurker]

This sounds very normal for a 5. I am a 5w6 myself, but the idea of experiencing emotions safely, but being too worried about being overwhelmed is classic 5 for any wing. Not to mention your affinity for retreating, detaching, and self-reflection and study are our trademarks also. I cannot answer about the INxP question, but I think your description sounds very 5w4-like. As for a solution, best of luck to you, I am still searching myself. You certainly aren't alone or unhealthy because of those desires though.

 

[lirulin]

Never, never had that.

 

[nevermore]

Never, never had that.

The desire for emotional immersion or the troubles I am having doing so?

 

[lirulin]

The desire for emotional immersion or the troubles I am having doing so?

The desire. Troubles sure, I expect I would have, if I tried to. But I don't want to so detachment is a good thing.

 

[perennialurker]

It may also have something to do with variants. Lirulin, are you SP dominant? That might explain the difference.

 

[nevermore]

i don't know. I'm sp dominant too...

 

[lirulin]

Yeah, I'm sp.

 

[h4zmat]

INFP 5w4 and I feel the same way.

 

[OrangeAppled]

The 4 wing can definitely add this aspect. A lot of people mistake 5s for having no emotions. It's how they deal with them that defines their emotions. As a 4w5, I find myself detaching more from emotions than 4s are supposed to. This is particularly true if other people are involved. I resist being affected. My sp instinct reinforces this, and they both combat my secondary sx instinct to connect intensely. I wind up frustrated. I start to wonder if I am even capable of passionate feeling.

However, on my own terms, I may like to swim in an emotional atmosphere. I seek this out through art usually - music, literature, poetry, and visual arts. It feels "safer" that way, yet I get the exploration I desire. This makes me aware that I have a passionate side, but it's hard for others to inspire it.

 

[Esilenna]

Sometimes I enjoy overwhelming emotions (they fuel my creativity, which then goes into creating my inner world), but sometimes they scare me. I do enjoy the idea of being completely flooded with a positive emotion; happiness or love or acceptance.

 

[sodden]

I enjoy them for awhile, sometimes, but they really have to be under control. For example, I like watching a film that moves me and letting the emotions flow (alone) or emotional music, but that's kind of play-acting, because it's detached from me- it's like studying and experiencing the intense feeling of others, but it's not really happening to me. I also love the feeling of falling in love, but it also makes me crazy. The anxiety of not knowing whether someone likes me is terrible, I get neurotic.

Something that makes me lean more toward five for myself over four- when I'm depressed, I wallow for a bit, cry for maybe three seconds, and then I turn toward ' figuring it out'. Finding out why I'm feeling this way and searching for solutions makes me feel way better than wallowing. I cry maybe three times a year, max, and I have bipolar depression. Har.

 

[Mizmar]

I do tend to immerse myself in different emotional states when I'm daydreaming, listening to music, watching an engrossing film, ect. I actually don't feel "detached" myself, but I'm aware I come across that way to others. For me an emotion is like a song that you can put on pause.

Imagine you're in a room listening to some music that you really like. All of a sudden a loud, noisy group of people enters the room. You immediately press the pause button on the CD player not because you hate the song or feel that it "gets in the way". You do it for the opposite reason--because you'd rather attend to it at a time and place when you can give your full attention, without noisy distraction. The emotion is still there, it's just frozen . . . it's like it's in a freeze-dried state. Of course, some feelings are so overwhelming I can't freeze or pause them, and that's when I feel like I really need to get away so I can attend to them in peace. Either that or I just end up breaking down in front of whoever it is I'm with, in which case I feel quite vulnerable and exposed.

I also love the feeling of falling in love, but it also makes me crazy.

Falling in love makes me sneeze.

 

[sleepyhead]

I do tend to immerse myself in different emotional states when I'm daydreaming, listening to music, watching an engrossing film, ect. I actually don't feel "detached" myself, but I'm aware I come across that way to others. For me an emotion is like a song that you can put on pause.

Imagine you're in a room listening to some music that you really like. All of a sudden a loud, noisy group of people enters the room. You immediately press the pause button on the CD player not because you hate the song or feel that it "gets in the way". You do it for the opposite reason--because you'd rather attend to it at a time and place when you can give your full attention, without noisy distraction. The emotion is still there, it's just frozen . . . it's like it's in a freeze-dried state. Of course, some feelings are so overwhelming I can't freeze or pause them, and that's when I feel like I really need to get away so I can attend to them in peace. Either that or I just end up breaking down in front of whoever it is I'm with, in which case I feel quite vulnerable and exposed.

Falling in love makes me sneeze.

I very much do this. I often like watching emotional movies or tv shows by myself so I can just let loose. I agree with not really feeling detached but being aware this is how others see me. I've always felt I was very in touch with my emotions, I just didn't realize that I rarely show them to other people.

I very much like your analogy of listen to music when a group of people enters. You put it into words much better than I could have.

 

[Ayia]

I love emotions I can control too. like when you daydream that something sad happens, but you can turn it off whenever you want to