Finding out about the MB type theory has actually been a huge help to me. A lot of my life I’ve felt like there are a lot of things about me that felt weird or unusual, and a lot of times that’s caused me to feel lonely, self-conscious and out of place. Sometimes I’ve even felt like there’s something wrong with me because I wasn’t like a lot of people that I knew. I was usually able to overcome these feelings (or if nothing else, ignore them), but by finding out about my own type (and others’), I’ve understood a lot more about myself, I’ve felt like I’ve connected to others, and I’ve gained confidence in who I am rather than what I’ve felt like I should be sometimes (not to mention learning about other people I know as well).
The really cool thing has been finding out that the reasons for my self-consciousness are actually related to me being an ISFJ too! So understanding that it’s natural for my type to have those kinds of issues has made me feel like it’s something I can overcome mentally too.
I guess I’ll give some examples. First, clearly is the whole introverted thing. I’ve always kept tons and tons of thoughts internally to myself, I’ve always enjoyed spending a lot of time alone, I’ve always gotten shy/uncomfortable in big groups, and I’ve always taken a while to warm up to people and think before I speak. But from what I read, about 75% of Americans are extraverted, meaning that these introverted qualities were unusual. I’ve always felt pressured into thinking that I should be going out more, that I don’t have enough friends, that I should force myself to be more outspoken…but all of these things are things that didn’t really matter personally to me…I just felt like I was “supposed” to be like that.
But I’ve now realized that it’s ok for me to be introverted like that, and I shouldn’t force myself to be something that I’m not just for other people. That doesn’t mean that I can’t step outside of myself at times to be more extraverted…but when I do it, I’m doing it because I want to, not because I feel like I’m supposed to.
It’s a similar case with being a feeling type, especially since I’m male. I’ve seen now why a lot of times I take things so personally, why I’m so sensitive compared to some people, and especially why a lot of other people can do say so much and gloss over the emotion so easily.
I’ll put the sensing/judging more together since that creates my temperament. This was kind of interesting because it’s outlined all of my mental organizations, my huge, almost OCD-like desire for structure in my life, and my hard working mentality meant to keep things going smoothly. I also find it interesting that I have such a desire to be ready and prepared, that I have a tendency to assume the worst, even if it’s not true…and this leads me to feel more negative about the future than I should be.
But it’s when all of these have been put together that makes the whole thing so completely fascinating to me. My feeling side gives me a lot of emotions, my sensing leads me to notice the details of them, my introversion leads me to keep them to myself, and my judging leads me to keep them very organized. I also see why I can be so sensitive and shy, and also why I tend to put others before myself. Finally, I also see how I do that so much, and am so calm-natured, that it leads me to be taken for granted, especially since I keep others happy and keep things running smoothly. Of course, since I feel so much better when others praise me, it causes me hurt to be ignored, especially since I work so hard.
But, that’s the huge beauty of me realizing all of this about myself. I’ve loved reading the advice sections in some of these books, because it makes me feel so much better about myself. I understand more about why I feel bad sometimes and why others’ actions sometimes lead to that…especially since they a lot of times don’t mean it, and usually have no idea they’re making me feel that way!
