[Dania]

Can you be forced to do what you do not want to do?

Can you force yourself to do things you don't want to do?

I am wondering if it is just me.

I am imaging success oriented doing things they dont want to do for the prize at the end. Some other people will do it because they fear the consequences.


Right now the consequences are great, but I find no value in the task or the acheivement... huge, but I dont want to do it, I dont see the point, I dont get it.. so I refuse to do it. :|

 

[Enfpleasantly]

There is nothing I despise more than being forced to do something, unless it comes from myself. I can, and do force myself to do things, but I do not tolerate being forced by others. Forced is a very strong word to me. I will do things others ask of me if I am able and willing to do it. Force is different and you can almost guarantee that is the perfect way to see my mean side.

Forcing myself to do something I don't want to do isn't easy, but I do it. I usually set myself up with an incentive of some kind to motivate myself. To clarify, that doesn't mean for others...if I don't want to do something for someone, I can say no. I'm talking about forcing myself to do something I need to do for me or my family.

 

[Eliza. Peace to you.]

I wonder if this is an ENFP problem. I really have to want to do a thing, or, I just don't do it.

My mother noticed this about me at a very young age.

What works for me is to work on changing my "want". It seems to be the only thing that works! The project/task/goal has to become an integral part of some ideal I want to strive for. Talking myself into changing my "want" is much easier than making myself do something I don't want to do!

So for example if I don't want to clean house, I either don't, or I change my focus to the reward, or to how I feel when its orderly, or I will picture the sunlight beaming on shining surfaces, or I invite guests and plan a menu and of course want to serve in a nice environment.

Thats an everyday sort of example. There have been harder things I had to make myself do, like gettng my Masters while teaching.. Ugh! That was grueling. I always wanted an MFA(Master of Fine Arts), and this was being paid for by my District! So very tempting to go for! But I went for the MS (Master of Science in Education) instead since the MFA was twice the credits, so twice the time, and I just wanted to get it DONE. And it HAD to get done, because a Masters is required for a teacher's Permanent Certification, and my biggest desire was to be free to stay home with babies. The MS was a lot of boring repeat of my BS too! But my higher desire was to free of college and hopefuly any work-outside-the-home when I finally had a babies (turned out one baby was the best I could get out of my bad marraige) so I went for the very tedious but "quick" MS. Then I had my son and stayed home a good while with him, with the security of being Permanently Certified so I could apply for any job when I was ready.

That was the "want" that got me through that. Goal accomplished. However, things don't always turn out like you plan. More area colleges have added my certification program to their line-up, they are all on this bandwagon now of adding as many certifications as possible no matter how miniscule the job availibility is. So with grossly negligant morality they have turned out droves of students who borrowed tens of thousands of dollars to be certified in my area (the other overly-swamped area is elementary education). Except they cannot get work to pay off those exorbitant loans, because when an opening (rarely) comes up, there are over 2000 qualified applicants applying!

Who even reads the names on 2000 resumes?? No one!

So I am subbing, which is not what anyone dreams of becoming, but at least with my Permanent Certification allows me a lot more pay per hour than anything else I could possibly do, and more pay-per-hour, as a single Mom, is an important goal.

 

[Ace Face]

Nobody can make me do something I don't want to do. I will make myself do it. If someone else pushes the issue too much, I make it a sure point not to do it Don't put pressure on me. That's not how it works. I will do it myself... I don't need anybody else to push me. Ugh, lol.

 

[stormy]

Hmmm...that's interesting. But I get what you're saying, Dania.

When I had to volunteer a certain number of hours in order to graduate high school, I fudged half of them. Well, my friends' parent's fudged for me. What I'm about to say will sound really super messed up, but I didn't want to do it because I was already a good person. I went to school with a bunch of snobs who were waited on hand and foot, many of whom would faint if they had to come to my neighborhood. I was bitter and angry.

I already went out of my way to help people as it was, and the volunteer activities that I did do were boring as hell anyway. Although I understand the importance of volunteer work now, I didn't feel like doing it then. So, I didn't. I didn't see the value in it.

When it comes to school & success, I'll do what I have to so I can do what I want to later in life. I make sure I treat myself too (lattes, chocolate, music, etc), it makes things feel a lot better.

 

[liza_200]

Nobody can make me do something I don't want to do. I will make myself do it. If someone else pushes the issue too much, I make it a sure point not to do it Don't put pressure on me. That's not how it works. I will do it myself... I don't need anybody else to push me. Ugh, lol.

Exactly. And instead of forcing, if the person explains me the reason clearly with logic, and if it's profitable, then I might do it. But no forcing.

 

[MuChApArAdOx]

Forced:shocked: That is such an alien concept for me :laughing: By others, no.

I can force myself into doing things. I make a game of it, especially if there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I reward myself if i accomplish things that i really dislike doing.

 

[Kintsugi]

I've been forced too much in my life. I don't comply to obvious acts of enforcement; however, unfortunately, I have at times been a victim of emotional manipulation.

Anyway. I realise that's not a way to live. You gotta be yourself....and not let anyone else tell you otherwise.

I have forced myself to do what I don't want to do for too long now. It rots my soul....it drains me. This is why I'm sticking two fingers up and saying screw that. Enough is enough!

It's time to take my life back.

 

[reletative]

I wonder if it has to do with having 8 in your tri-type or an 8-wing?

 

[nádej]

Not really, and it gets me into trouble.

Someone trying to force me to do something is pretty much a sure sign I'm not going to do it (except in extreme circumstances), even to my own detriment. Doing something I'm forced to do feels like it's not coming from me. It feels dishonest and fake in a way, which is something I try to avoid at all costs.

 

[Brad Lynch]

Usually it takes quite a bit for me to be forced to do something.

Unless of course they fool me into believe it is something that I would want to do.