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Curious...

Do we, as passionate souls, need that feeler on feeler action? T types have always felt... wrong... to me as far as romantic partners go (They can have great senses of humor and make amazing friends) ... I'd like to hear some perspectives on this.
 

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I'm actually enjoying dating an INTP right now quite a bit.

It's a refreshing change of pace after getting out of a long relationship with a manic depressive ENFP. Much less drama, and having a lot of fun.

I won't lie - there is a bit of a feeling barrier, though she has been expressing it at times. This to me makes it a bit more meaningful when it happens. INFJ's can be very intellectual as well, as we are fairly analytical, so she's pleased when I give her different perspectives on certain subjects.

So, it's working out well so far, though progressing slowly (which works for me at this point).
 

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the problem with this is the word "romance".

romance is not the only thing a relationship is for and it is not the only thing it can be centered around.

and many times that's what F vs F relationships end up being.

all romance, no foundation.

a relationship is about love, but you can portray love in a non-romantic way.

romance might be great, but it is not sturdy when under pressure and it does not keep a relationship stable through hard times. the whole "love conquers all" attitude is a farce designed by fearful fanboys of romance.

this is where T types excel much more often than F types, because F types play too much into the fantasy/romantic aspect of the relationship much at the cost of paying attention to the other important aspects, if not flat out ignoring the other aspects.
 

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Not tooting my horn but I tend to make T type women get all mushy and lovey dovey. If they are open to it of course. I go by person to person, I don't like putting people into boxes. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who had no developed F nor would I like to be with someone with no developed T. T types have emotion just like us, it just takes longer and or different avenues to tap into them.
 

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the problem with this is the word "romance".

romance is not the only thing a relationship is for and it is not the only thing it can be centered around.

and many times that's what F vs F relationships end up being.

all romance, no foundation.

a relationship is about love, but you can portray love in a non-romantic way.

romance might be great, but it is not sturdy when under pressure and it does not keep a relationship stable through hard times. the whole "love conquers all" attitude is a farce designed by fearful fanboys of romance.

this is where T types excel much more often than F types, because F types play too much into the fantasy/romantic aspect of the relationship much at the cost of paying attention to the other important aspects, if not flat out ignoring the other aspects.
I disagree.

Not all Fs are wishy washy fans of romance, and want to dine by candel light. I'm really not into that, it's just soooo superfical. Nor do they all belive love conquers all, I don't and nor does my INFJ friend, that type of thing in people winds us up.

We are both pretty caring and compassionate people, but we are also pretty grounded.

Like wise, Ts are not all cold, unfeeling lizards. I think it's far to broad a generalisation, and I've seen some pretty sickening romance between an ENFP and ISTJ...roses, and slow dancing, andcuddly bunnies holding hearts. *shiver*

I know the two of us arn't dating (though people have thought that,lol) but my INFJ friend and I just get on better than with anyone else we've ever met. We don't get all sappy with each other, as we both know how much we value the other person, there is no need for silly guestrues, just general respect and kindness.

We are very similar, but different in all the right ways, like two pieces of a jiggsaw puzzle. We just work. Whether you are with an F or a T, I think you need that, basic similarities and core values, but differences which are complmentary, so as a unit you make up for each others short comings while still being able to get on and understand each other.
 

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I seem to mostly go for ENFx.

The T and F difference doesn't seem quite as important as the I and E to me for some reason.

Like the poster above, I don't think all Fs are lovey dovey huggy all the time- though I could certainly go for some of that.
 

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yea... i know this is an infj thing... but i've been juggling this question in my head for myself as well. I can't decide what type is best for me. So i think I'm gonna settle for INTUITIVE.... and the rest depends on maturity and just plain chemistry...... at the same time.... i always fancy ENFJ's.... I don't think they like me yet though..... don't think I'm mature enough yet.... or maybe they just plain don't like me. Nope I just think I'm idealizing them too much and that indicates I'm not as mature as I'd like to be. HA.... yay saying stuff out loud.
 

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I disagree.

Not all Fs are wishy washy fans of romance, and want to dine by candel light. I'm really not into that, it's just soooo superfical. Nor do they all belive love conquers all, I don't and nor does my INFJ friend, that type of thing in people winds us up.
lol everyone has a different definition of romance. I was not referring to a specific definition.

and no they do not ALL have a love conquers all attitude, but many F's, without developed logical thinking, do. They may not even realize it.
 

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lol everyone has a different definition of romance. I was not referring to a specific definition.

and no they do not ALL have a love conquers all attitude, but many F's, without developed logical thinking, do. They may not even realize it.
Oh I value love highly, and I'd say we both have "romantic" temprements, but we arn't nieve. Nor are we sappy, or into silly displays of affection.

You want to charm me? Flowers are nice, but doing my washing up is better. :laughing: Real love to me is consistant respect and sharing of responsibility, and a strong friendship.

My INFJ friend was very sneering of me actually celebrating Valentines day with my ex, even though I explained it was just an excuse for general presents. (One of the reasons he is an ex is because I don't belive in love being enough)

I think she is a bit of a secret romantic though...where as I seem like I'd be overly huggy and romantic, but I'm more into take out and a horror movie.
 

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It feels kind of cold and dull for me with T types romantically...even if they know how to make a warm and friendly atmosphere, it's not enough...I need someone to not be afraid to show his passion, even when I'm not feeling safe enough to show it...I can't open up otherwise...
 

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Pretty much the only thing that matters to me is the N. Not that N's and S' can't get along, but it's a lot of fucking work. I spent a long time making it work and once we finally did I realized there was nothing else to look forward to. Granted, this was just one isolated example.
 

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i love NTs for their intellectual pursuits....and other such things......but in a relationship - the ones i've experienced they just aren't 'outwardly' passionate enough.
 

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LMAO... "feeler on feeler action" just makes me think of two flying spaghetti monsters, multiple tentacles just flailing all over the place... or insects or something... feeler on feeler

I'm sorry, I'm odd :crazy:

But personally I think someone having a certain emotional or intellectual depth is more important than their being a feeler. I do *like* other feelers, but for me their being an intuitive would probably be more important. If I had to choose a function to share with them, it would be the N rather than the F. I don't think I could live without the kind of profound mental stimulus I get from other Ns.

Ts can actually be quite refreshing in my experience. I don't really mind either way. Depends on the individual, but I would certainly be open to a relationship with a thinker.
 

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The last chick I dated was an ENTP nine years my senior. She was waaay too accommodating to my F and it drove me crazy! That and the fact that she never quit talking. She had a pretty severe case of ADHD...and P! Sooo much energy but pretty much zero follow through. Her T was great for conversation though. She was smart with the things I'm not. If I have some sort of small construction project or electrical issue, she's the girl to call. I don't think I would actively seek out an ENTP to have a relationship though. They're so nice that they are everyone else's doormat. Very unforunate.
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Pretty much the only thing that matters to me is the N. Not that N's and S' can't get along, but it's a lot of fucking work. I spent a long time making it work and once we finally did I realized there was nothing else to look forward to. Granted, this was just one isolated example.
Agreed.

I think it has to do with Ni being our driving function.

I just feel like I'm on a different page than most S types. Hell, maybe even a different page in a different book. :)
 
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