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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Hello INTPs,

I am an INFJ. I am pretty certain my husband is an INTP based on all my research, but the P vs. J really throws me, even with more reading. My husband is highly UNLIKELY to take a test--he pretty much thinks psychology is bunk and doesn't like anyone in his head ;). Hence, I am here at your mercy.

I'd so appreciate your help if I list in points some key things I think may determine if he's a P or J. I would really like to help accept him for all he is and learn to work with his type to strengthen our bond. (Note none of the following are criticisms, just observations.) Thank you in advance!

-like pretty much all INT types, exceptionally intelligent.

-dislikes talking about himself, especially anything that might reveal too much. But on rare occasions, he will open up to me...and that's pretty cool when it happens.

-a night person. definitely not a morning person.

-academics came easily, and he is not studious. Preferred to work the system (figure out the shortcuts to studying/test taking) than sit down and hammer through it. But he did hammer through it in the times he really had to.

-gifted at TEACHING. If he had been my math teacher, I might have done ok with it. He's also patient with teaching, and good at finding a few different ways to explain something.

-irritated at himself for caring for people. It's like he hates this part of himself and thinks life would be easier if he could shut off caring.

-doesn't respect most of the world, or himself for that matter (at times)

-Skeptical of most things/people/institutions. Will tear apart movies, books, articles, etc for logical flaws. (that's the T, I bet)

-can be very prone to sloth/laziness. He's gifted in multiple arenas but would be content to sit on his rear all day if I didn't light a fire under him at times.

-hobby driven. (war games). Drawn to others within his hobby, and isn't discriminatory about friends in that hobby as long as they aren't jackasses.

-can do something for HOURS without tiring. Like paint. Or work at something. (This amazes me)

-dislikes mindless work, but will do it if necessary and sometimes sees the gift in it

-In a relationship with me because I pretty much initiated it/pushed for it.

-took a long time to decide whether it was appropriate/right to marry me

-physically affectionate with me (hugs, etc)

-BUT, regards to above, sexually very repressed. Imaginative sexually in his head, but will not bring it out into the bedroom with me.

-Highly risk averse.

-Strategic, but flexible. Has tenacity and energy to do an 8-hour board game, and capability to shift strategies depending on game's changes.

-Interested in how to mess with people/manipulate them psychologically (though the 'caring' part of him holds back on this. So he has this internal ethical sense that he sometimes hates about himself)

-Loyal probably to a fault

-creative. He can do art. Not necessarily naturally, but he'll work at it. However, h e doesn't view art as a froufrou thing. He believes it should be disciplined and scorns people who put crap out as art that really doesn't show any skill.

-imaginative/high fantasy life/internal world.

-results driven. Effort doesn't mean much to him. He kind of scorns effort and heralds results.

-*sometimes* a dreamer. In rare instances, when he shares. For example, shared with me that a movie reflected what he hoped to have in a relationship. There is a fantasy element to how he sees relationships. But it's strongly balanced by his logical side. It's like he's in an internal war between the two sometimes.

-flexible on day to day things. But not really when it comes to core values surrounding his own metric of right and wrong.

Let me know if you need to know more. I hope the above is a decent enough picture. Again, I do appreciate your help, and if you end up having a consensus he's an INTP, I shall enjoy reading your forum and ruminating like the INFJ I am :)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Does he strike you as more of an "absent minded Professor" or an "Evil Mastermind"?
oy, tough question!

He *behaves* more like an absent minded professor. ANd I think he *longs to be* the evil mastermind. :)
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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here is a simple test you can perform:

-walk up to him then blankly stare at him and poke him.
-wait a few seconds for a reaction.
-then poke him again if he doesn't.
-remember to keep your composure not to laugh. *This will not work if you smirk, giggle, or laugh.
-if still no reaction, use both hands and start poking him everywhere.
-if there is no retaliation, then he is a P. Definitely.
 

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So does he follow an idea all the way through, analyzing it gathering all data, and generating possibilities (INTP)? Or does he read in to the idea, and try to constantly apply it in day to day life (INTJ). That in itself is some good insight for your question.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thank you omniblade. That is another difficult question. I suspect he dwells a bit more in possibilities. For example, there is a thing he's trying to build now, and he's been exploring this for months. Looking at ideas, materials, testing, rebuilding. He'll drop it for a while, return to it. Research online, test, try out.

I see him tend to start things, leave them be, then pick them back up. HE doesn't 'give them up' but it can seem that way to an outsider. I've noticed though sometimes he'll get on a roll and do things for many days on end. Then drop it for a while, come back. I see him integrating his ideas less on a day-to-day basis. The word "constantly" is what flagged me here--while there are many ways he is consistent and predictable, he is not constant in many of his ideas on a daily basis.
 

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I don't know, man. When I'm really into something, I can get lost in it for hours.
Correct, if an INTP enjoys what he's doing he'll really go at it for hours and forget about all kinds of things, like eating.

Personally, sounds like an INTP to me. Seems to live a lot more in an Introverted thinking world than extroverted. I tend to start things and leave them all the time but I can't quite just give up on them. Like world of warcraft, haven't played in months but I keep paying for it because I can't imagine just giving up on a character I've worked on for years.

The way that he seems to care about people and have the patience to deal with them and how loyal he is to them also screams INTP to me. But that's just my opinion :)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
. I tend to start things and leave them all the time but I can't quite just give up on them.
that's like him, and reminds me of something else that made methink he's a P.

hangs onto THINGS forever. Like, he might need that XYZ someday! You never know! ;)
 

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Toss this thread into the INTJ forum and you might be able to get some more accurate opinions. He sounds like an INTP to me but I haven't had a whole lot of experiences on the differences between the P and J function.
 

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I'd say INTP, too, he seems to have a weak Fe and a strong Ti. Other than that, I wonder if I would be overwhelmed by being around a Fe-aux or dom partner every single day, although INxJs in general are the type I'd love to marry. Good thing you're both introverts :cool:
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I wonder if I would be overwhelmed by being around a Fe-aux or dom partner every single day, although INxJs in general are the type I'd love to marry. Good thing you're both introverts :cool:
I have definitely brought overwhelm historically. :rolleyes:

I'm working on it. Part of why I'm here. The introversion helps...he'd go insane with an Fe extrovert.
 

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that's like him, and reminds me of something else that made methink he's a P.

hangs onto THINGS forever. Like, he might need that XYZ someday! You never know! ;)
XYZ's are awesome! You should never get rid of them! lol

I have a "Memories" Box that I like to call my Introverted Sensing Box lol. It's full of things most people would call garbage, like wrapper of a crunch mini that one of my nieces gave me on their first Christmas they spent with us. I couldn't throw something like that away. As soon as I see it I remember all the fun we had.

But I also hold on to so many things, I have bins full of cables I'll probably never use but noooo can't throw them away, never know when you'll need it. But the thing is whenever I DO throw something away THEN people come asking about it. Hell I have my Commodore 64 computer packed up in a bin.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Yes yes yes. There could always be a need for 10 cables :)

Your sentimentality attached to things reminds me of him. In the moments where he does express himself more, it will reveal itself in something like the example you gave: he'll pick up something and say "remember when...". I learned a very long time ago to be careful about what I toss. (of course, as an INFJ, I'm overwhelmed by stuff. Haha)
 

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Yes yes yes. There could always be a need for 10 cables :)

Your sentimentality attached to things reminds me of him. In the moments where he does express himself more, it will reveal itself in something like the example you gave: he'll pick up something and say "remember when...". I learned a very long time ago to be careful about what I toss. (of course, as an INFJ, I'm overwhelmed by stuff. Haha)
Hey! There is absolutely nothing wrong with "Stuff"! lol

I'm afraid I have a lot more than 10 cables, lol I have so many power supplies for devices I no longer have, part of me says "dude, seriously, when are you going to need this?" another part answers "Someday" and I keep it lol.
 
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