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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been wondering what people mean by 'enfp's can read people'.
Or when they say that we are people-people.
I personally need other people around me, but i also need a lot of alone time.
Also i can't read people, sometimes a weird thought strokes my mind, but i just ignore that because i think it can't be True, i don't whant to think rude of people. Especially people i bearly even know.

(Perhaps i have a wrong picture in my mind when they say 'reading people'.)
So, what are your experiences with reading people ?
 

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Reading people is definitely not some kind of "psychic" thing, at least not for me. What I mean when I say that is that I'm good at understanding people - not just by looking at them or reading their body language, but by paying attention to their words and actions and analyzing everything I know about them to figure out their motivations and how they think. Which basically means that when my friends are baffled by something someone has done, I'm often able to empathise with them and explain why they have acted in that way - and I can also anticipate the way people will react to things or how they're likely to behave in particular situations quite well. It also allows me to modify the way I act to engage with the person I'm interacting with on their own terms and show the aspect of my personality they're most likely to appreciate - which for me is mostly a subconscious thing. I'm prone to making mistakes as well, though - especially because I usually can read people so well, that I might assume I have someone figured out when I've really missed some big part of their personality which causes me to misjudge them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
why, thanks ! now i understand what you guys are actually talking about. xD
yes, i don't think i'm too good at influencing them, but i can emphasize quite good.
i always thought it's because i find myself easily in their situation, when people ask me for advise.
i don't think you misjudge them, but some people have a surprising 'halo-effect' and for me it always feels like i've got to know them a lttle better, or like i just discovered a new side. (but of course that changes the whole image)
 

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I wouldn't call it some psychic power or anything. It's really just the ability to read between the lines and infer things from what is both said and unsaid.

I use Ne to see all the possibilities and I use Fi to put my feet in the other person's shoes.

I've been told that I have this uncanny ability to get people to open up to me, to tell me personal things, to come to me with personal problems, and I help them find solutions or guide them using this Ne-Fi combination. My close friends call me their go-to therapist, and I can meet someone for the first time and within an hour I almost always have them talking about very personal things with me. Perhaps it's because I am comfortable talking about these things too. But I think a lot of it is because even if I've not experienced something that someone is going through, I can take stock in my past experiences and take those experiences and see how they are related and how I can relate to that person and their situation/experience. That's how I read people.
 
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I don't like to read people. I've seen what happens to a person that does that. Not good.

I do understand people though. Instead of seeing who people are and what experiences, actions, etc., I get a vibe about who they are, and whether or not I'd like them.
 

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I have several ENFP friends that say they can read people, but apperantly they have a lot of difficulty knowing what's on my mind. I wonder why this is.:mellow:
Guessing you're not very expressive? Don't show a lot of emotions in your face and have understated body language? Don't really feel a need to say what you're thinking/feeling unless there's a specific point, and even then may not put a huge effort into being understood if the other party isn't "getting it"? Possibly you're an android?

I find INTJs easier to figure out than INFJs - because with a T you can work out what their 'system' is. Still, you guys can be difficult. I find with introverts in general I have to look less at what they're expressing in the current moment (because often it's not a lot) and more work out their "modus operandi" by looking at how they've acted and reacted in the past. Plus even though expressions are subtle and understated, they're still there, and the better you know an I the easier it is to see the subtle signs you may otherwise miss. It definitely takes longer and means I might not be able to "read" them from moment to moment quite as easily, though.
 

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I have several ENFP friends that say they can read people, but apperantly they have a lot of difficulty knowing what's on my mind. I wonder why this is.:mellow:
You INTJs are the ultimate puzzle to us. That's why we hang around you so much. :p

 
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I don't know either but my inability to read intjs makes me so flustered
 

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Oh yes. It looks something like this ;)

 

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Body language is fun. Here use this to understand your cat better:





I read body language, tonality of voice and consider what i know about the situation. Can extrapolate a variety of possible things that may be going on from that. Once I put ti together I can narrow it down, but I never truly know what is going on precisely.

There are books on the subject and OP you can learn it if you are interested. I mainly use Samy Molcho's stuff...but that is in German.
 
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