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Tell you what it's about? I don't know, but it looks like it talks about anxiety/depression and the fight the author has to get out of it. The first stanza is about all the uncontrollable thoughts running through the mind. The second is about appearing aloof and distant and how others just don't get it. The third is like describing the illness as a living being inside you that rumbles around and gives the body spasms. The fourth questions how this could ever be good for anything or worth the pain.
 
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Thread title reminded me of this song that gripped me as a teenager
and how the last line ties all the lyrics together... simple, heavy, beautiful @Louigi783 maybe submit original work to one of the well traveled threads that people are subscribed to for more feedback :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thread title reminded me of this song that gripped me as a teenager
and how the last line ties all the lyrics together... simple, heavy, beautiful @Louigi783 maybe submit original work to one of the well traveled threads that people are subscribed to for more feedback :)
Thank you so much. I wrote this work originally in my own language, in my own dialect. But i needed to translate to post here. It's not that beautiful like in my own language. But you did get the clue. I don't need to submit this somewhere to get more feedback. I'd rather get 2 meaningful feedback than 100 meaningless ones. Sorry if my english isn't that well.
 

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@Louigi783 Thanks it helps to know that the poem was translated - it reminds me to read it with a wider understanding of the words chosen.

I used to write poetry more when I was a teenager and in my early 20's, and when I felt tortured and overwhelmed by forces, I would call them "it" because being specific never felt right. In my experience I came to understand my use of "it" as emotions that were stronger than my understanding, stronger than my will, like the weight of an ocean, and the chaotic stillness of the eye of a storm. And the last line translates perfectly I think and has profound philosophical implications: "I do not want, I am not free."

I can not define anyone's art, but that is how I relate to my understanding of your poem. I still deal with a state of dissociation even in my 30's, though I now refer to "it" as either "my heart," "I," or "pure despair." Thank you for sharing your expression.

You are wise enough to know this already, so as I friend, I offer this reminder: you are never alone in your despair. We're connected and suffer the illusion of being separate.
 
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