Personality Cafe banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,751 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
It's a lazy Sunday afternoon, so I've been playing around with the MBTI tests a little bit to help me understand how the results are derived. It's a pretty standard formula.

Anyways, I took it a step further and figured that if it can tell me what I am, then it should also be able to tell what I want.

So I decided to answer the test differently from what I would for myself, and answered it based on what I would want my most preferred mate to answer. I took into consideration things like how we would help each other grow, our practical decision-making and things that would allow the relationship to blossom, rather than simply stagnate.

Well, based on my answers, my most compatible type would be an ENTJ. <-- This is also happens to be the type I admire the most and aspire to be (as in these are the qualities I want in myself that I don't really have).

Anyone else have any thoughts on this subject.

Here's the test I used: 16 Personality Types Quiz

I just answered the questions differently. I assumed that each question was asking me what I would like to see in a potential mate.

If you've got the time, and give it a go. It can also be a fun game - even if it doesn't teach you anything.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
248 Posts
It's a lazy Sunday afternoon, so I've been playing around with the MBTI tests a little bit to help me understand how the results are derived. It's a pretty standard formula.

Anyways, I took it a step further and figured that if it can tell me what I am, then it should also be able to tell what I want.

So I decided to answer the test differently from what I would for myself, and answered it based on what I would want my most preferred mate to answer. I took into consideration things like how we would help each other grow, our practical decision-making and things that would allow the relationship to blossom, rather than simply stagnate.

Well, based on my answers, my most compatible type would be an ENTJ. <-- This is also happens to be the type I admire the most and aspire to be (as in these are the qualities I want in myself that I don't really have).

Anyone else have any thoughts on this subject.

Here's the test I used: 16 Personality Types Quiz

I just answered the questions differently. I assumed that each question was asking me what I would like to see in a potential mate.

If you've got the time, and give it a go. It can also be a fun game - even if it doesn't teach you anything.
You're kinda freaking me out Jawz :crazy:
I think you might have something here! Seriously ponder on this, please.

I've been married to an ENTJ for 25 years. It's too difficult to explain in a short post,
but before I even laid eyes on him, I knew we would be married (I fought like hell against it though!).
It took 7 weeks to meet, fight with, date, become engaged, and get married
I was at sea for half of this time, so that could be the reason it took so long! :laughing:
I also promptly went back to sea 2 days after our wedding (if it can be called a wedding, more like a justice of the peace, sign documents thing) and stayed on my ship for 2 more years, going months without seeing him.

After our first conversation, I informed him (for his benefit) that he was a stuck-up jerk.
He replied that he didn't think so. Only took him 24 years to admit I was right and appologize to me! And somewhere in our LONG courtship, he called me a bitch, after I left a room he was in with some other guys, but the window was open. I made sure he was correct in his assesment of me. He married a sailor, but now I'm a delicate flower.
:proud::happy:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,782 Posts
I'll play devil's advocate - a specialty of mine! - and say it probably won't work very well.

The primary reason is of course that MBTI is pretty non-specific as there are a variety of traits that any given category can have that have little or nothing to do with "type". And of course it's not unusual for peoples' "types" to change from test to test, and to evolve over time as people mature.

In other words, MBTI only gets you so far when analyzing yourself, much less another person and much less a fictional other person. As I like to say, MBTI is not predictive, however it can be explanatory. You'd seem to be using it to predict, and you don't even have a real person to use as a subject.

In addition a lot of people, present company excluded I'm sure, don't really have a good concept of what they want in a mate. Most people on this board seem to be aged between 18 and 25 or so. That's pretty young and in the developed world most people are still "finding themselves" in that age range. I know I sure was, and actually was doing so later than that.

What I would have listed as desirable at that age would vary in some important areas from what I would now list. The result of course is that you'd have a method of analysis that is inescapably tied into some misconceptions you have as to yourself at any given time.

How's this for disclosure- after my marriage fell apart I realized that I was my father's personality type and I'd married my mother's personality type. It was what I was role modeled with and so I unconsciously sought it even though my parents made a disastrous couple. How useful would this exercise have been to me in my mid-20's when I met my ex-wife? It would have just "confirmed" that my mistaken thinking was what I in fact wanted.

The last thing I'll throw in here is that life is surprising, and sometimes you meet people who you either think are the last people walking the earth who would have the attributes you were looking for, or alternatively have the last attributes on earth that you thought you'd like or find beneficial. I think what you've come up with is a useful exercise. Dating is ultimately still a trial and error process, however. Human beings are way too complex to profile absolutely. You will always still need "on the ground" analysis of them on a case by case basis.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,751 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
I'll play devil's advocate - a specialty of mine! - and say it probably won't work very well.

The primary reason is of course that MBTI is pretty non-specific as there are a variety of traits that any given category can have that have little or nothing to do with "type". And of course it's not unusual for peoples' "types" to change from test to test, and to evolve over time as people mature.

In other words, MBTI only gets you so far when analyzing yourself, much less another person and much less a fictional other person. As I like to say, MBTI is not predictive, however it can be explanatory. You'd seem to be using it to predict, and you don't even have a real person to use as a subject.

In addition a lot of people, present company excluded I'm sure, don't really have a good concept of what they want in a mate. Most people on this board seem to be aged between 18 and 25 or so. That's pretty young and in the developed world most people are still "finding themselves" in that age range. I know I sure was, and actually was doing so later than that.

What I would have listed as desirable at that age would vary in some important areas from what I would now list. The result of course is that you'd have a method of analysis that is inescapably tied into some misconceptions you have as to yourself at any given time.

How's this for disclosure- after my marriage fell apart I realized that I was my father's personality type and I'd married my mother's personality type. It was what I was role modeled with and so I unconsciously sought it even though my parents made a disastrous couple. How useful would this exercise have been to me in my mid-20's when I met my ex-wife? It would have just "confirmed" that my mistaken thinking was what I in fact wanted.

The last thing I'll throw in here is that life is surprising, and sometimes you meet people who you either think are the last people walking the earth who would have the attributes you were looking for, or alternatively have the last attributes on earth that you thought you'd like or find beneficial. I think what you've come up with is a useful exercise. Dating is ultimately still a trial and error process, however. Human beings are way too complex to profile absolutely. You will always still need "on the ground" analysis of them on a case by case basis.
I tend not to argue ... but in this case, I will just cuz I wanna flex my thinking muscles a little bit.

I agree with some parts of your responses but disagree with others.

You see, with my Ni level being extremely well-developed and working in almost perfect tandem with my Fe (in my current state of mind), I'm at an all time high in my ability to analyse and predict personalities and also their compatibility with myself. What I desire is based upon a 7 year failed relationship (4 years engaged and 3 years married). Secondly, I've crossed 30 and am at my emotionally healthiest in a long time.

In other words, MBTI only gets you so far when analyzing yourself, much less another person and much less a fictional other person. As I like to say, MBTI is not predictive, however it can be explanatory. You'd seem to be using it to predict, and you don't even have a real person to use as a subject.
You forget that our Ni+Fe enables us to predict outcomes for different people - and when used inward, it gives us an inherent ability to feel what's right. Also, I used whatever ability I had to predict that certain answers will deviate the test to a specific outcome - again playing in my intuition. Lastly, I allowed myself to roam freely in my mind and analyse that based on certain responses, a person would seem to generally continue to behave a certain way falling well within the gambit of generalized expected behaviours for a particular spectrum of situations. Example, a person who "leads with his head" and "can predict certain outcomes based on analysis" would most likely be able to look at minute details of a situation that I personally cannot because I tend to look at the broader picture.

Secondly, when answering questions, I responded within an acceptable range. If the test wanted me to pick from 1-5 where either was an extreme, I pin-pointed a person that would fall somewhere along the dichotomy that I would personally like them to fall. Again, this goes back to my own intuition, as well as ability to place people on a continuum of acceptable - extreme behaviour.

That said, of course, I completely agree with you. But at the same time, I'm prepared to assert that for certain people using this approach may actually be beneficial - depending how much of their mind they apply to it, and how much of their intuition and judgements about other people are developed.

Of course, I'm not satisfied with the result. My answers were also biased by all the things that I liked about my ex-wife and the things I didn't like about her and to what extent I liked them, or disliked them - hence creating my own rating system. From what I've read of the ENTJ profiles, they probably would not be the perfect match for me - because in a sustained relationship, gender roles may come in to play. I don't know much about ENTJ women - but I think it's a starting point of an analysis that's simply designed to satisfy my own curiousity :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
328 Posts
I used a different test- I don't trust that one- and got xNFx (E had one point, as did J, so I'm considering them neutral).

However, I already know that it is with an NF that I am most likely to thrive. :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,664 Posts
Well I just have one question involved in this.

Should one get everything they "want" or even "know" what they want?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,751 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Well I just have one question involved in this.

Should one get everything they "want" or even "know" what they want?
Perhaps as redman so perfectly pointed out - age might be a factor. When I was 22, all I thought I wanted was love and to give love and I would be able to make it work. Suffice to say, I was horribly wrong.

There are definitely certain qualities that both people have and should be aware of before entering into a marriage contract. One has to be open to one's own needs and desires before being able to fulfill another's.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,664 Posts
Perhaps as redman so perfectly pointed out - age might be a factor. When I was 22, all I thought I wanted was love and to give love and I would be able to make it work. Suffice to say, I was horribly wrong.

There are definitely certain qualities that both people have and should be aware of before entering into a marriage contract. One has to be open to one's own needs and desires before being able to fulfill another's.
Hidden needs and desires surface though or at least change depending on who you are with. One could hate someone always being late but totally love someone who is always late because you don't just love someone for all their good you love them for their faults too.

I want to apologize if I'm taking away from the thread. Sorry :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,751 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
Hidden needs and desires surface though or at least change depending on who you are with. One could hate someone always being late but totally love someone who is always late because you don't just love someone for all their good you love them for their faults too.

I want to apologize if I'm taking away from the thread. Sorry :(
Of course not :) You're more than welcome to have a go at my theories ... like I said --- I've got my thinking cap on today (for a change)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
747 Posts
I got INTJ. Hmm....I'm not sure though. Not to say that I'm not open to the idea of dating someone who's INTJ, but I've always found it easier to connect to F's. But, there are many things I don't know yet.

Overall, I think finding someone who's good for you is about pushing past any set ideas you hold. You can get a vision in your mind of an ideal person, but that doesn't mean you don't need to challenge that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,452 Posts
I took a test on here once that was created for that purpose. It was pretty useless for me though because I'm already with the right person lol. But yeah, anyway. Let me try to find it. Blah can't find it. I'll get back to you.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top