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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been interested in the Myers Briggs type Indicator for a few years now, but after all this time, I still can't seem to figure out which cognitive functions I really use. I've always had the tendency to make up this ideal image of myself in this fantasy world due to some self esteem issues and inferiority complex, and when I take online tests my results are always biased as a result.

I have this dilemma of what type of personality do I have, or what personality type do I want. Thinking like this is only cause more problems for me. I'm an INFJ, or at least I think so. I am not completely aware of what cognitive functions I use in everyday life, but I prefer to stick with INFJ because I see a bit of myself in the descriptions but there are certain aspects of this type that I'm not sure that I have, but just sound appealing and make me feel unique.

The feeling of being boring, ordinary or mundane is what gets to me. There is nothing that makes me truly unique as a person, so I have to make up something myself. This causes me to manipulate myers briggs tests to give me my ideal type rather than my real type. With this test, I can actually pretend to be something I'm not to feel better about myself and feel special.

As a result, I'm struggling to find my actually MBTI type. Chances are I am REALLY an INFJ, but then again I can't tell if it's actually my type or just me pretending to be one.

Sorry I didn't get to include enough information about myself. I will post more when I get a chance. I don't get very much time on the computer anymore....
 

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Hi :happy: (sorry if my english is not good) !
I feel symphatetic with you because I have had difficulty in finding my type due to the fact that I tend to answer (in tests) as I would like to be (and so the results come out wrong).
I can suggest you the process I used to try to figure it out, don't know if it will work for you but you can try ;)
First read this topic http://personalitycafe.com/cognitiv...iled-descriptions-each-function-attitude.html
then copy-past the cognitive-function descriptions in Word (or anything else) and delete the type every function is linked, like this :

FROM THIS -> Ne, or extroverted iNtuition, is dominant for ENxP, secondary for INxP, tertiary for ESxJ and inferior for ISxJ.
TO THIS -> Ne, or extroverted iNtuition.

Then read all the description and underline the sentences you feel describe more what you really are; after this you will be able to see what function you use more and what less, order them like this :

I use more ...
Sometimes ...
Not at all ...

and you will see the possible combinations :wink:
 
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I've been interested in the Myers Briggs type Indicator for a few years now, but after all this time, I still can't seem to figure out which cognitive functions I really use. I've always had the tendency to make up this ideal image of myself in this fantasy world due to some self esteem issues and inferiority complex, and when I take online tests my results are always biased as a result.

I have this dilemma of what type of personality do I have, or what personality type do I want. Thinking like this is only cause more problems for me. I'm an INFJ, or at least I think so. I am not completely aware of what cognitive functions I use in everyday life, but I prefer to stick with INFJ because I see a bit of myself in the descriptions but there are certain aspects of this type that I'm not sure that I have, but just sound appealing and make me feel unique.

The feeling of being boring, ordinary or mundane is what gets to me. There is nothing that makes me truly unique as a person, so I have to make up something myself. This causes me to manipulate myers briggs tests to give me my ideal type rather than my real type. With this test, I can actually pretend to be something I'm not to feel better about myself and feel special.

As a result, I'm struggling to find my actually MBTI type. Chances are I am REALLY an INFJ, but then again I can't tell if it's actually my type or just me pretending to be one.

Sorry I didn't get to include enough information about myself. I will post more when I get a chance. I don't get very much time on the computer anymore....
and by the way, i totally believe you are a true INFJ by listening to all what you say here! (and your avatar and user name are very INFJ also! a picture paints 1000 words, and a user name can sometimes tell alot too, yours does :)
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks for the links. I do think that I have inferior Se because I do alot of the things mentioned in the article about the INFJ under stress. I like to gather facts on things I'm interested in, I'm clumsy and unaware of my surroundings, and I make careless mistakes. Sometimes I can overindulge in my Se to relax (eating sweets, listening to music, taking walks etc..). I also cannot stand loud noises and any type of sensory overload.

I have also gone through the functions and the most confusing one to me is Fi/Fe. I seem to not really have much of a sense of self and never felt like I've had my own opinions on things. Through my childhood, I just agreed with whatever my parents said. It wasn't really until my mid to late teens that I started to analyse things for myself and think about how I felt about them. I am very empathetic and can easily tell how others feel and why they feel a certain way. I have also found that other peoples moods have an effect on me. When the people around me are happy/upbeat, I will feel the same way, but if someone is down or upset I also absorb this. It's almost like I feel what they are feeling.

There are also certain things that I am very touchy about and take it personally when someone speaks badly about them. Either I will be very protective of a certain social group or culture that I feel has been scapegoated or rejected by mainstream society. I get defensive when I hear people around me talking badly about them. I am also protective of things I like, especially certain music, movies and television shows. If someone says something derogatory about something, I get very defensive. It's almost like they are a part of me. I also have certain things that I feel a connection with and things that I passionately dislike. I have an idealized version of things in my head and tend to imagine things being the way I wished they were, including myself (as you can tell from reading my post above).

I am pretty sure that I am an intuitive type but cannot figure out if I am Ni or Ne. I am an avid daydreamer and will make up stories in my head constantly. I am at the place where I think it's an addiction because it interferes with certain areas of my life. I have this ability, yet for some reason I struggle to write my thoughts down on paper. I tend to be a bit flighty, absent minded, and scatterbrained, and unproductive which has ruined my academic life. I have always thought I had some kind of ADHD.

I also tend to get some pretty insightful thoughts at certain times that seem to come out of nowhere. Alot of times they are unrelated to anything in the present moment. I've also noticed that I figure things out slowly, but sometimes when I get a small piece of information, everything just "clicks" in my brain Sort of like an "aha" moment. The puzzle is solved and everything has fallen into place. I also try to see what is really going on behind the scenes and am good at finding hidden meanings, and messages in things and also get "vibes" that I cannot really verbally describe.

From reading the article on cognitive functions, I seem to use Ni/Fe/Fi/Ne/Ti/Si/Se in that order. I'm not very good with slightest bit of practical common sense and logical thinking (maybe that's because of underdeveloped Thinking or Sensing??).

Here are the results from my cognitive functions test:


Your Cognitive Functions:
Introverted Intuition (Ni) |||||||||||||||||| 8.34
Extroverted Feeling (Fe) |||||||||||||||||| 8.18
Extroverted Intuition (Ne) ||||||||||||||| 6.65
Introverted Feeling (Fi) ||||||||||||||| 6.61
Introverted Thinking (Ti) ||||||||||||| 5.99
Introverted Sensation (Si) |||||||| 3.47
Extroverted Thinking (Te) |||||||| 3.24
Extroverted Sensation (Se) ||| 0.8

Your Introverted Intuition (Ni) is very developed.
Your Extroverted Feeling (Fe) is very developed.
Your Extroverted Intuition (Ne) is moderate.
Your Introverted Sensation (Si) is moderate.
Your Introverted Thinking (Ti) is moderate.
Your Extroverted Thinking (Te) is moderate.
Your Introverted Feeling (Fi) is moderate.
Your Extroverted Sensation (Se) is poorly developed.


I hope this helps...
 

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Thanks for the links. I do think that I have inferior Se because I do alot of the things mentioned in the article about the INFJ under stress. I like to gather facts on things I'm interested in, I'm clumsy and unaware of my surroundings, and I make careless mistakes. Sometimes I can overindulge in my Se to relax (eating sweets, listening to music, taking walks etc..). I also cannot stand loud noises and any type of sensory overload.

I have also gone through the functions and the most confusing one to me is Fi/Fe. I seem to not really have much of a sense of self and never felt like I've had my own opinions on things. Through my childhood, I just agreed with whatever my parents said. It wasn't really until my mid to late teens that I started to analyse things for myself and think about how I felt about them. I am very empathetic and can easily tell how others feel and why they feel a certain way. I have also found that other peoples moods have an effect on me. When the people around me are happy/upbeat, I will feel the same way, but if someone is down or upset I also absorb this. It's almost like I feel what they are feeling.

There are also certain things that I am very touchy about and take it personally when someone speaks badly about them. Either I will be very protective of a certain social group or culture that I feel has been scapegoated or rejected by mainstream society. I get defensive when I hear people around me talking badly about them. I am also protective of things I like, especially certain music, movies and television shows. If someone says something derogatory about something, I get very defensive. It's almost like they are a part of me. I also have certain things that I feel a connection with and things that I passionately dislike. I have an idealized version of things in my head and tend to imagine things being the way I wished they were, including myself (as you can tell from reading my post above).

I am pretty sure that I am an intuitive type but cannot figure out if I am Ni or Ne. I am an avid daydreamer and will make up stories in my head constantly. I am at the place where I think it's an addiction because it interferes with certain areas of my life. I have this ability, yet for some reason I struggle to write my thoughts down on paper. I tend to be a bit flighty, absent minded, and scatterbrained, and unproductive which has ruined my academic life. I have always thought I had some kind of ADHD.

I also tend to get some pretty insightful thoughts at certain times that seem to come out of nowhere. Alot of times they are unrelated to anything in the present moment. I've also noticed that I figure things out slowly, but sometimes when I get a small piece of information, everything just "clicks" in my brain Sort of like an "aha" moment. The puzzle is solved and everything has fallen into place. I also try to see what is really going on behind the scenes and am good at finding hidden meanings, and messages in things and also get "vibes" that I cannot really verbally describe.

From reading the article on cognitive functions, I seem to use Ni/Fe/Fi/Ne/Ti/Si/Se in that order. I'm not very good with slightest bit of practical common sense and logical thinking (maybe that's because of underdeveloped Thinking or Sensing??).

Here are the results from my cognitive functions test:


Your Cognitive Functions:
Introverted Intuition (Ni) |||||||||||||||||| 8.34
Extroverted Feeling (Fe) |||||||||||||||||| 8.18
Extroverted Intuition (Ne) ||||||||||||||| 6.65
Introverted Feeling (Fi) ||||||||||||||| 6.61
Introverted Thinking (Ti) ||||||||||||| 5.99
Introverted Sensation (Si) |||||||| 3.47
Extroverted Thinking (Te) |||||||| 3.24
Extroverted Sensation (Se) ||| 0.8

Your Introverted Intuition (Ni) is very developed.
Your Extroverted Feeling (Fe) is very developed.
Your Extroverted Intuition (Ne) is moderate.
Your Introverted Sensation (Si) is moderate.
Your Introverted Thinking (Ti) is moderate.
Your Extroverted Thinking (Te) is moderate.
Your Introverted Feeling (Fi) is moderate.
Your Extroverted Sensation (Se) is poorly developed.


I hope this helps...
Everything you say and even your scores are all INFJ! Se is your inferior function, therefore that's why you score the lowest on Se. The other functions are shadow functions. INFJ is Ni Fe Ti Se, shadow functions are Ne Fi Te Si, Si you will probably not be able to grasp what it means, it's called the "devilish" function in your type. Have you read up on Si yet?

You are soooooooooooooooooo INFJ!! LOL :) Have you hung out on their Forum yet?
 
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From reading the article on cognitive functions, I seem to use Ni/Fe/Fi/Ne/Ti/Si/Se in that order. I'm not very good with slightest bit of practical common sense and logical thinking (maybe that's because of underdeveloped Thinking or Sensing??).

Here are the results from my cognitive functions test:


Your Cognitive Functions:
Introverted Intuition (Ni) |||||||||||||||||| 8.34
Extroverted Feeling (Fe) |||||||||||||||||| 8.18
Extroverted Intuition (Ne) ||||||||||||||| 6.65
Introverted Feeling (Fi) ||||||||||||||| 6.61
Introverted Thinking (Ti) ||||||||||||| 5.99
Introverted Sensation (Si) |||||||| 3.47
Extroverted Thinking (Te) |||||||| 3.24
Extroverted Sensation (Se) ||| 0.8

Your Introverted Intuition (Ni) is very developed.
Your Extroverted Feeling (Fe) is very developed.
Your Extroverted Intuition (Ne) is moderate.
Your Introverted Sensation (Si) is moderate.
Your Introverted Thinking (Ti) is moderate.
Your Extroverted Thinking (Te) is moderate.
Your Introverted Feeling (Fi) is moderate.
Your Extroverted Sensation (Se) is poorly developed.

According to the theory, you should be developing introverted thinking by now. It will be a break, and a critical moment. Do not be distressed, see it as a helping hand to make ends meet. What were your best and worst subjects in school?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks Dreamer for all of your help! A couple things I forgot to mention, and I'm not sure if these are related to type, is that I am also very shy, and even though I can easily empathize with people, I have trouble approaching and interacting with them. I think I have social anxiety and I sometimes think I have Avoidant personality disorder because I have started to completely avoid social situations out of fear of being rejected, humiliated and embarrassed. As a result, I don't really have a social life. I'm trying to get help for this...

I also chronically put things off also out of fear of failure (and maybe success even), which is why I'm not really living up to my potential. I have great ideas of what I would like to do, but I don't start them because I'm not sure of if I will enjoy it, or how successful I might be with it. In school I've always been a bit of an underachiever, and would not finish my homework assignments. This is mainly because there were certain subjects that would not interest me, or were difficult to me and I would just zone out during class. I would just not do the homework or start doing it and give up halfway through it. I would get mediocre grades and that would make me feel like I was stupid or inadequate.

I'm also known for not finishing anything I start. I have a feeling that people tend to see me as lazy, unproductive, illogical, sloppy and disorganized which has led me in the past to think of myself as a P type instead of a J, but I think this is just based on stereotypes.

I also learn the way I described in the post above, however, there are also many times where I have gotten confused pretty easily, at the simplest things, which has always made me feel stupid. I'm not sure if this is a learning disability or another problem that I have.

Those are just a few character flaws I have. I'm not sure of whether this changes my type or not....
 

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Thanks Dreamer for all of your help! A couple things I forgot to mention, and I'm not sure if these are related to type, is that I am also very shy, and even though I can easily empathize with people, I have trouble approaching and interacting with them. I think I have social anxiety and I sometimes think I have Avoidant personality disorder because I have started to completely avoid social situations out of fear of being rejected, humiliated and embarrassed. As a result, I don't really have a social life. I'm trying to get help for this...

I also chronically put things off also out of fear of failure (and maybe success even), which is why I'm not really living up to my potential. I have great ideas of what I would like to do, but I don't start them because I'm not sure of if I will enjoy it, or how successful I might be with it. In school I've always been a bit of an underachiever, and would not finish my homework assignments. This is mainly because there were certain subjects that would not interest me, or were difficult to me and I would just zone out during class. I would just not do the homework or start doing it and give up halfway through it. I would get mediocre grades and that would make me feel like I was stupid or inadequate.

I'm also known for not finishing anything I start. I have a feeling that people tend to see me as lazy, unproductive, illogical, sloppy and disorganized which has led me in the past to think of myself as a P type instead of a J, but I think this is just based on stereotypes.

I also learn the way I described in the post above, however, there are also many times where I have gotten confused pretty easily, at the simplest things, which has always made me feel stupid. I'm not sure if this is a learning disability or another problem that I have.

Those are just a few character flaws I have. I'm not sure of whether this changes my type or not....


Made me think...Hold it...What are your aspirations, Lord Xephere?


By the way, your enneagram is 4w5 / 9w1 ? Which one is it? How do you relate to enneagram 1?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Here is a post of the functions i think will help you alot too, you can look at Fi and Fe there also:

http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive-functions/24032-intro-function-theory-more-detailed-descriptions-each-function-attitude.html
Fe and Fi are very difficult to me. I fit all of the characteristics of an Fi user, empathetic, good at picking up emotional cues, wanting to thought of as unique rather than ordinary, not wanting to change my identity for anyone, etc. But I've noticed that when it comes to ethics, I will pick them up from any external or outside source, my family in my case. I would like to be a non conformist and not be what others want me to be, but if I am with a group of people that I can relate to or find important, I will try to blend in and conform to them.

I always try to be kind and polite to people, even though I may look awkward and creepy when I do this. For these reasons I would say Fe, but also strong Fi, if that's possible.

According to the theory, you should be developing introverted thinking by now. It will be a break, and a critical moment. Do not be distressed, see it as a helping hand to make ends meet. What were your best and worst subjects in school?
That's true. I've always been notoriously illogical, despite being good at finding inconsistencies in people (maybe that's Fe+Ti?). As for school, I think my best subjects were English (or anything having to do with writing and language) any Psychology course, Computer Science, Video Production, Art and History.

Math was always the subject that caused problems for me. I hated it with a passion. I had trouble understanding it and I had no interest in it. Most of it was just frustrating, and tedious to me. Especially some of the Algebra classes I've had. I also struggled with Biology, P.E. (that was always tough for me as I was never that in touch with my senses), and Political Science (I failed it the first time, but retook it and did much better).
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Made me think...Hold it...What are your aspirations, Lord Xephere?


By the way, your enneagram is 4w5 / 9w1 ? Which one is it? How do you relate to enneagram 1?
I would like to be a novelist, musician and maybe even a cartoonist (once I learn to draw). I've been all over the place since my adolescence. When I was younger I aspired to be a radio personality, either a talk show host or a DJ. I wanted to go on the radio because I felt that it would help me introduce new ideas and/or music to people, voice my opinions and expose the truth. I decided not to do that because I doubted whether I had the personality for radio. I'm very quiet, shy and awkward and radio people are prefered to be Extraverted, outgoing social butterflies. Lately I've been trying to write some short stories and start composing and producing my own music. I've also thought about learning to draw and starting my own manga. I would like to do something creative that captures peoples imaginations and inspires people.

I'm confused about my enneagram type actually, and thought "well, maybe I could be both of those types, since I seem to relate to both of them". I relate to type 4 because I have an ideal image of myself and who I should be, and would like to be thought of as unique, different and creative. I relate to type 9 because I'm pretty laid back and sort of tend to go along to get along to avoid conflict. I need to have a harmonious external environment. Type 9's seem to have no sense of self, sense they pretty much go with the flow of the people around them, which also sounds a bit like me. I'm leaning to type 4 because of the tendency to dwell on my feelings other than deny them. Type 9 will try to cheer themselves up rather than dwell on their negative thoughts by doing things like listening to sad music.

I thought I relate better to type 9w1 than 9w8 because I am a pretty big perfectionist and can be rather hard on myself at times. I am also very curious intellectually and interested in things like philosophy, psychology and metaphysics. I also have this idealized view of people and the way things should be in society (I also idealize myself, like I mentioned above with type 4).

This is what I got from reading the descriptions. However, I could be a little off...
 

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This is what I got from reading the descriptions. However, I could be a little off...

Well, the enneagram can be important data. Do the following: Go to Type 1 Enneagram Type Description |9types.com

and carefully read the descriptions of 1, 4 and 9. Then put them in order of growing likeliness.



Also, I'll provide you with a short description I wrote about the two types.


The INF types

Both can be well described by these three words : idealistic, compassionate and introspective.

But what are their differences?


INFP


- Their main concern is raising their self-consciousness about the values that define themselves ; strives to keep their moral integrity at all times.

- May be frustrated and depressed for not being able to find a niche, however small and cut-off from mainstream society, a saving grace, an outlet for them to express their inner, true selves, for they deem the world too judgemental, unimaginative, unforgiving and impersonal (Note: Art is a favourite outlet among INFPs).

- Their ability to come up with ideas, especially in the form of metaphors and analogies, is a mean for them to support their values.

- The INFP, with the introverted feeling function (Fi), gives more weight to finding their sense of identity and peace of mind , not caring too much about preaching about their values or engaging in promoting them.

- The inner world of the INFP can be best described as a small, cosy cabin or room, where the self is surrounded by objects representing the values they hold the highest.



INFJ

- What they most seek is to expand their own understandings of the world ; then, they focus on presenting their ideas in more socially conventional ways to raise the collective consciousness about them.

- They are most frustrated and depressed not by the «boring, colourless world» as the INFP would put it, but because of their highly eccentric, other-wordly inner self that brings up abstract understandings too difficult to represent in more conventional ways; they yearn to find a niche that may finally enable them to bring the benefits of their visions to the public at large and be appreciated for it.

- For the INFJ, the values sponsored by the mainstream society (Fe) are the vehicle for their own ideas (Ni), not the other way around. So, unlike the INFP that desires to be stimulated by, say, conversations with people of their own intellectual level, having no need to 'talk down' to others, the INFJ is more geared towards making their ideas more accessible to everyone (with not much interest in being intellectually stimulated by others), eventhough that translation may prove to be a very hard and thankless task.


- The inner world of the INFJ (Ni), on the contrary, seems much larger and abstract, not very predictible, somewhat dark and hazy , which leads it to being compared to an ocean under a storm.




Also...

Have a look at the description of three personality disorders : Avoidant, Schizotypal , Dependent and Narcissistic (though it may be somewhat confusing and harsh reading). Select the one you relate the most with.


Personality Subtypes Summary



All of this are clues that can greatly help us estimate the probability of you being one or another type.


I apologize if this all seems overwhelming. It's just that I suspect that you may very well be an INFP, why not?
I'd go for a sense of closure.
 

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For the enneagram, have you tried the test of PersonalityCafè ?
For me you sound like an INFJ, and also your test results suggest that :)
 
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It's just that I suspect that you may very well be an INFP, why not?
I'd go for a sense of closure.
Could be ...
 
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Thanks Dreamer for all of your help! A couple things I forgot to mention, and I'm not sure if these are related to type, is that I am also very shy, and even though I can easily empathize with people, I have trouble approaching and interacting with them. I think I have social anxiety and I sometimes think I have Avoidant personality disorder because I have started to completely avoid social situations out of fear of being rejected, humiliated and embarrassed. As a result, I don't really have a social life. I'm trying to get help for this...

I also chronically put things off also out of fear of failure (and maybe success even), which is why I'm not really living up to my potential. I have great ideas of what I would like to do, but I don't start them because I'm not sure of if I will enjoy it, or how successful I might be with it. In school I've always been a bit of an underachiever, and would not finish my homework assignments. This is mainly because there were certain subjects that would not interest me, or were difficult to me and I would just zone out during class. I would just not do the homework or start doing it and give up halfway through it. I would get mediocre grades and that would make me feel like I was stupid or inadequate.

I'm also known for not finishing anything I start. I have a feeling that people tend to see me as lazy, unproductive, illogical, sloppy and disorganized which has led me in the past to think of myself as a P type instead of a J, but I think this is just based on stereotypes.

I also learn the way I described in the post above, however, there are also many times where I have gotten confused pretty easily, at the simplest things, which has always made me feel stupid. I'm not sure if this is a learning disability or another problem that I have.

Those are just a few character flaws I have. I'm not sure of whether this changes my type or not....
You definately show strong INFJ in what you say, sure you have some Fi in you, and may show a few similarities to INFP's that way, but your Fe overrides your Fi by far, and you are filled with strong Ni, there is no doubt you are an INFJ. No 2 people are alike even when they have the same personality type, each has different percentage ratios of scores on the cognitive functions, different upbringings, backgrounds, cultures, experiences and different ages and stages in life. But we do identify dominantly with a certain personality type.

You are dominant Ni, and your Fe is way stronger than your Fi. INFP's are not strong in Ni. The "devilish" function for INFJ's is Si. Read about Si again and see how much you do or don't understand Si, as an INFJ, you should not be able to really understand Si that much. Just as me as an INFP, i don't really understand Ti too well, it is the INFP's "devilish" function. Te is the INFP's inferior function that we use under stress in a disfunctional way. If you would like to read about that click here: http://personalitycafe.com/infp-articles/76770-recognizing-inferior-function-ifps.html
 
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Sorry it took me a while, I couldn't really get a chance to reply today...

Ludi, I read the descriptions of those enneagram types. I'm going to post them below, with the specific traits of each type that I relate to in Bold. The ones that are VERY relatable are bolded and colored Blue

Type 1
The Perfectionist (the One)

Perfectionists are realistic, conscientious, and principled. They strive to live up to their high ideals.

How to Get Along with Me


  • Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work.
  • Acknowledge my achievements.
  • I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am.
  • Tell me that you value my advice.
  • Be fair and considerate, as I am.
  • Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive.
  • Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

What I Like About Being a One

  • being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal
  • working hard to make the world a better place
  • having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself
  • being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do
  • being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions
  • being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people

What's Hard About Being a One

  • being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met
  • feeling burdened by too much responsibility
  • thinking that what I do is never good enough
  • not being appreciated for what I do for people
  • being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am
  • obsessing about what I did or what I should do
  • being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously

Ones as Children Often

  • criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others
  • refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect
  • focus on living up to the expectations of their parents and teachers
  • are very responsible; may assume the role of parent
  • hold back negative emotions ("good children aren't angry")
Type 4
The Romantic (the Four)

Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

  • Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
  • Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
  • Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
  • Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
  • Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being a Four

  • my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
  • my ability to establish warm connections with people
  • admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
  • my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
  • being unique and being seen as unique by others
  • having aesthetic sensibilities
  • being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being a Four

  • experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
  • feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved
  • feeling guilty when I disappoint people
  • feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
  • expecting too much from myself and life
  • fearing being abandoned
  • obsessing over resentments
  • longing for what I don't have
Fours as Children Often

  • have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s
  • are very sensitive
  • feel that they don't fit in
  • believe they are missing something that other people have
  • attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
  • become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
  • feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)
Type 9
The Peacemaker (the Nine)

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

  • If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
  • I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advatage of this.
  • Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
  • Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
  • Ask me questions to help me get clear.
  • Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
  • Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
  • I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
  • Let me know you like what I've done or said.
  • Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a Nine

  • being nonjudgmental and accepting
  • caring for and being concerned about others
  • being able to relax and have a good time
  • knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
  • my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
  • my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
  • being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a Nine

  • being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
  • being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
  • being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
  • being confused about what I really want
  • caring too much about what others will think of me
  • not being listened to or taken seriously

Nines as Children Often

  • feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
  • tune out a lot, especially when others argue
  • are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves
So I guess these will go in the order of 1>4>9. 9 being most like me.

I have also read up on the personality disorders, and I have found that the descriptions about Avoidant Personality Disorder fits me to a T. I have almost all of the traits like, fears about being embarrased or rejected, or making a fool out of myself, feeling inadequate, using an inner fantasy world as a way to cope with the loneliness. I would say that I relate very much to both Avoidant and Dependent even after reading the information in the Personality Subtypes link. I probably relate to Avoidant more, especially the Conflicted, Self-deserting, and Hypersensitive traits. I also relate to the most of the Dependent traits, especially the Accommodating, and Disquieted traits.

I think I relate to Avoidant the most out of the three.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Also Ludi, you wanted to know about my Avatar :)

My avatar is actually the character Chrono from the anime Chrono Crusade. He is a demon, but he's not evil. I chose him as my avatar because he reminds me of myself in the since that he's kind, compassionate, loyal and quiet. He's also how I imagine myself to look like as an anime character (when he's in full demon form, like in my avatar...most of the show he's in kid form). Sounds a bit silly....I know.....

The avatar also fits my username very well and it sort of looks like the quiet yet fierce type of hero that I also daydream about being.

You can read about the show here if you've never heard of it before: Wikipedia: Chrono Crusade
 
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