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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I'm new to the Enneagram. I've only spent the hour past doing some online research, but that's been enough to open my mind to new possibilities of expanding my understanding of myself and of personality theory.

So, I really need help figuring it out from people who understand it better than me, if anybody is willing.

I'm positive that I'm either a 3 or a 4. I'm considering the possibility of being of being 3w4 or 4w3, but I think my strongest wing is 7. I don't know how the Enneagram and MBTI are supposed to be integrated so I'm not sure whether to call it Se, being an ISFP, or not. What I do know is that in a particular way the description of type 7 clicked with me in a number of ways, most of all the way that 7s deal with anxiety. I'm a very anxious person, I know this is not exactly personality related but the only really successful way I have of coping with it is the type 7 way :p

I also know that my anxiety has a lot to do with my self esteem. Again, I've heard it said often that ISFPs can bounce between arrogance and and self-deprecation easily because the things we base our self worth in are often arbitrary. This is another recurring pattern in my life, by FAR my strongest stressor, and usually the only problem big enough to make itself a constant priority without my say so. This makes me think possible 3w6?

But this is just an assessment of the current situation. Just a year ago I had a meltdown that I feel like was something building up for a long time. As I've gotten older I've become increasing critical of myself. Right now I feel like a type 3, but when I was fourteen I would have thought myself a type 4 without a doubt. I used to take a lot of pride in my creative capabilities, when I was a kid it was natural, ( and I kind of had an elitist attitude about it) but in my teen years it slowly became another way for me to measure my self worth. Whatever creative buug I had before is so repressed right now that I can't really say.
 

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Think about the negatives to the types too and be honest with yourself. While 3s and 4s both focus on concentrating on how other people see you, it is for different reasons. 3s need to be seen as successful to other people whereas 4s need to be seen as an individual to other people. A 3w4 would be driven to be successful and measure the success with individuality. A 4w3 would be driven to achieve individuality. What are you really after? The individuality or the success? I'm a 3w2. I'm driven for success and measure my success by helping others.
 
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Discussion Starter #3
Think about the negatives to the types too and be honest with yourself. While 3s and 4s both focus on concentrating on how other people see you, it is for different reasons. 3s need to be seen as successful to other people whereas 4s need to be seen as an individual to other people. A 3w4 would be driven to be successful and measure the success with individuality. A 4w3 would be driven to achieve individuality. What are you really after? The individuality or the success? I'm a 3w2. I'm driven for success and measure my success by helping others.
I'm not sure because I feel like I used to be some kind of type 4, and now I feel like an unhealthy 3w4.
 

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I'm not sure because I feel like I used to be some kind of type 4, and now I feel like an unhealthy 3w4.
It takes lots of deep introspection but it's totally worth it once you figure it out.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I started filling out the questionnaire and partway through I came to a realization. In my case I don't know whether to call it type three or my super ego, but every time it's in charge I'm in a constant state of anxiety. I was actually enjoying filling out the answers quite a bit, but then it was like partway through, without warning my fear of failing reared it's ugly head and I couldn't keep going. I can't function properly with whatever I'm calling type 3, in charge. Every time I manage to forget it, or at least let it fall back into the subconscious I'm able to do things naturally. The rest of the time it's all second guessing myself to the point of complete confusion, and I can't even put my priorities in order. I can't operate like this. I just have this feeling that things should be different. I think I would be a healthy 4w3 but I can't be a healthy 3w4.


I'm pretty sure I'm one of the two at this point, but I don't know if I can figure it out myself. I'm probably wrong about what it means to be 3w4 and I want to clarify that so I don't offend anyone, I'm just trying to figure this out for myself. But, I REALLY want to be able to tell myself that I'm 4w3. It seems to me there was a time that I would decide to do things because I enjoyed them. I can't remember well enough to know how different it actually was from now but I want to be able to think that eventually I can get this burden off my shoulders. whew, okay venting over/
 

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I started filling out the questionnaire and partway through I came to a realization. In my case I don't know whether to call it type three or my super ego, but every time it's in charge I'm in a constant state of anxiety. I was actually enjoying filling out the answers quite a bit, but then it was like partway through, without warning my fear of failing reared it's ugly head and I couldn't keep going. I can't function properly with whatever I'm calling type 3, in charge. Every time I manage to forget it, or at least let it fall back into the subconscious I'm able to do things naturally. The rest of the time it's all second guessing myself to the point of complete confusion, and I can't even put my priorities in order. I can't operate like this. I just have this feeling that things should be different. I think I would be a healthy 4w3 but I can't be a healthy 3w4.


I'm pretty sure I'm one of the two at this point, but I don't know if I can figure it out myself. I'm probably wrong about what it means to be 3w4 and I want to clarify that so I don't offend anyone, I'm just trying to figure this out for myself. But, I REALLY want to be able to tell myself that I'm 4w3. It seems to me there was a time that I would decide to do things because I enjoyed them. I can't remember well enough to know how different it actually was from now but I want to be able to think that eventually I can get this burden off my shoulders. whew, okay venting over/
Knowing this you can figure out WHY you enjoy things. I enjoy competing and winning in games/sports because I'm a 3 and knowing this doesn't stop me from still enjoying it. Ask yourself, what do you enjoy? And then ask yourself, why do you enjoy it? At the root of everything you enjoy is some weakness that drives your feelings for it. 3s love winning because they can't stand the idea of being pathetic. This fear is the weakness that fuels their drive for power and achieving success.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Knowing this you can figure out WHY you enjoy things. I enjoy competing and winning in games/sports because I'm a 3 and knowing this doesn't stop me from still enjoying it. Ask yourself, what do you enjoy? And then ask yourself, why do you enjoy it? At the root of everything you enjoy is some weakness that drives your feelings for it. 3s love winning because they can't stand the idea of being pathetic. This fear is the weakness that fuels their drive for power and achieving success.
After I read this I think I realized I was looking at it wrong before. I wasn't being objective enough because I was too emotionally attached. I spent the past while just forcing myself not to think about it, doing other things instead to get my priorities in check again. And now I think I'm 4w3. I tried to look back to childhood when my wing wouldn't have been as developed. I remember being pretty withdrawn. I also had a really strange way of determining something's value, that looking back, wasn't really based on anything in reality. I used to think younger me was slow, but it makes more sense being a 4 trait. Also I remember instances where people would make comments about me and I would adopt them. When I was 7 my mom told me I was weird because I never bothered to wear matching socks and after I started going out of my way to do it every day.

I avoid competing because it stresses me out. This is another reason I think I'm 4w3 because I think it's type 3 based that I care so much but also shows that I don't rely on my 3. Does that make sense? Idk, are these good enough reasons to believe I'm 4w3?
 

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After I read this I think I realized I was looking at it wrong before. I wasn't being objective enough because I was too emotionally attached. I spent the past while just forcing myself not to think about it, doing other things instead to get my priorities in check again. And now I think I'm 4w3. I tried to look back to childhood when my wing wouldn't have been as developed. I remember being pretty withdrawn. I also had a really strange way of determining something's value, that looking back, wasn't really based on anything in reality. I used to think younger me was slow, but it makes more sense being a 4 trait. Also I remember instances where people would make comments about me and I would adopt them. When I was 7 my mom told me I was weird because I never bothered to wear matching socks and after I started going out of my way to do it every day.

I avoid competing because it stresses me out. This is another reason I think I'm 4w3 because I think it's type 3 based that I care so much but also shows that I don't rely on my 3. Does that make sense? Idk, are these good enough reasons to believe I'm 4w3?
Yes that sounds right. If you say you decided it objectively then I believe you.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Yes that sounds right. If you say you decided it objectively then I believe you.
Now I'm second guessing how objective I actually was. But I know I really felt like I was at the time, so I'm just gonna trust myself this time and leave it at 4w3. Thanks for helping :) I need the extra input to keep me from going in circles with my thinking.
 

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Think about the negatives to the types too and be honest with yourself. While 3s and 4s both focus on concentrating on how other people see you, it is for different reasons. 3s need to be seen as successful to other people whereas 4s need to be seen as an individual to other people. A 3w4 would be driven to be successful and measure the success with individuality. A 4w3 would be driven to achieve individuality. What are you really after? The individuality or the success? I'm a 3w2. I'm driven for success and measure my success by helping others.
I'm in the same boat as the OP.

This is interesting. While I like being seen as sucessful, I don't really go out my way to do it, unless someone has ruffled my feathers. Most of my comments are on me being "weird" "withdrawn" "aloof" "intelligent." I've always kind of embraced weird; I always have this irksome feeling whenever I realize that I'm the same as everyone else around me.

The thing is with 3; I'm pretty nonchalant when it comes to my projected image. Aside from the "art geek" and "aloof loner nerd," I personally put no emphasis on demonstrating much to others at all.
 

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Now I'm second guessing how objective I actually was. But I know I really felt like I was at the time, so I'm just gonna trust myself this time and leave it at 4w3. Thanks for helping :) I need the extra input to keep me from going in circles with my thinking.
Always question my dear. Never be fully satisfied.
 
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