[Sela]

Just to prove that we're not complete robots:

My cat (well, one of them; I have 4 actually) had been acting lethargic all week and rejecting her food. Finally got her to the vet Friday morning and got the bad news that her kidneys are failing and that I'll have to put her to sleep.

This is the first time I've had to deal with this. While the vet was running the stats past me, I was thinking about five steps ahead. Basically, what it amounted to was that I wanted my pet home for the weekend so that I could:

1) Get pictures
2) Contact my daughter so that she could come over and spend time with the cat in question
3) Spend time with said pet before she has to go back to be put to sleep

The vet gave her an I.V. of fluids and some vitamins to (hopefully) get her through the weekend. Monday is when she will be taken back for the final visit.

As to the "we're not robots" part, while I dealt with matters at the vet (receiving the information, paying the bill, driving home with my pet, etc.) in a "deal with it" manner, once I got home I fared very poorly and have not dealt with it very well at all. She (the cat) is only 4 years old; however, because it is a white cat, the vet stated that she was predisposed to genetic problems and likely dealt with this her whole life, but it's just now caught up with her.

Question: How do the rest of all you ISTJ's deal with the loss of a loved pet?

 

[Mercer]

Just to prove that we're not complete robots:

My cat (well, one of them; I have 4 actually) had been acting lethargic all week and rejecting her food. Finally got her to the vet Friday morning and got the bad news that her kidneys are failing and that I'll have to put her to sleep.

This is the first time I've had to deal with this. While the vet was running the stats past me, I was thinking about five steps ahead. Basically, what it amounted to was that I wanted my pet home for the weekend so that I could:

1) Get pictures
2) Contact my daughter so that she could come over and spend time with the cat in question
3) Spend time with said pet before she has to go back to be put to sleep

The vet gave her an I.V. of fluids and some vitamins to (hopefully) get her through the weekend. Monday is when she will be taken back for the final visit.

As to the "we're not robots" part, while I dealt with matters at the vet (receiving the information, paying the bill, driving home with my pet, etc.) in a "deal with it" manner, once I got home I fared very poorly and have not dealt with it very well at all. She (the cat) is only 4 years old; however, because it is a white cat, the vet stated that she was predisposed to genetic problems and likely dealt with this her whole life, but it's just now caught up with her.

Question: How do the rest of all you ISTJ's deal with the loss of a loved pet?

when i was 10 my golden retriever died, my parents waited a day or so to tell me. i didn't even blink. my grandmother died last year and i didnt really get a reaction then either but that may be because she was a hundred, and every year, for ten years, my dad would tell me that it was "grandma's last christmas'. but i did get 1000 dollars out of that, which was pretty cool.

 

[Sela]

when i was 10 my golden retriever died, my parents waited a day or so to tell me. i didn't even blink. my grandmother died last year and i didnt really get a reaction then either but that may be because she was a hundred, and every year, for ten years, my dad would tell me that it was "grandma's last christmas'. but i did get 1000 dollars out of that, which was pretty cool.

I think it all depends on how close you are to the person (or in my case, my cat). When my paternal grandfather passed away in 1987, I was very distraught and it took me a very long time to grieve, etc. Of course, he raised me single-handedly from the time I was 9 until I was 16 so he and I were very close.

On the other hand, my maternal grandfather passed away in 1996. I wasn't as close with him, as I didn't see him much growing up. I was sad, but he was basically a stranger to me so it didn't affect me as much.

(On a side note, my paternal grandmother passed away in 1980; when a very mean-spirited girl at school taunted me about the fact [she helped the paternal grandfather raise me until she passed away] repeatedly, I initially "did the right thing" and ignored her, until one day she did it one too many times. The straw that broke the camel's back was the taunt in the lunchroom, and I responded by punching her in the nose without any warning. Not surprisingly, I didn't get in trouble over it.)

Anyway, back on topic, I've had this particular cat for four years. Now that my daughter has moved out (she moved out last year), my cats are almost like my little children. Since I am very close to them, it stands to reason that my grief will be more intense.

Apparently they offer "private cremations" where they put the pet's ashes into an urn that you can take home. I'm still debating this one.

 

[niss]

Sela--

I am so sorry about your cat. BTDT, twice. It hurts. Really, really hurts.

Question: How do the rest of all you ISTJ's deal with the loss of a loved pet?

Much like you have. Took care of the necessary details, spent time with the animal. Felt really bad and cried.

Why is this stupid screen so blurry now?!?

Go enjoy your day with your pet.

 

[Sela]

Sela--

I am so sorry about your cat. BTDT, twice. It hurts. Really, really hurts.



Much like you have. Took care of the necessary details, spent time with the animal. Felt really bad and cried.

Why is this stupid screen so blurry now?!?

Go enjoy your day with your pet.

Thanks. She's hiding at the moment, in the bookcase. I gave her lots of attention when I got home (I FOUND her in the bathtub [!!!]) but she had enough and went off to be by herself for a while. Unfortunately, I have to work tonight at 8 so my time is limited. At the same time, I'm not going to MAKE her come out of the shelf if she doesn't want to ... but it's in the same room I'm in at the moment so she knows that I'm near her if she wants to come out before I'm forced to get some sleep.

I DO want to get some more pictures of her tonight before I leave for work; hopefully, she will be more agreeable later. Also, I have an ink pad and some plain computer paper; I am going to get some paw prints so I can keep in some sort of scrapbook (and quite possibly get her prints put on ME sometime in the future if they turn out well on paper).

 

[niss]

The passing of my grandparents was a sad thing, but was not intolerable--I remained a stoic throughout all of their funerals, even though I did see them regularly.

But my paternal grandmother was special. Born in 1901 and was 97 when she died, I was able to spend some time with her, and she encouraged it, always making everyone feel welcome. I loved that woman deeply--very deeply. So we fast forward about three years after her funeral, and I'm talking to my psychologist about something totally unrelated, but my grandmother was mentioned. It didn't take but a couple of questions and I'm crying like a baby. Since she had died, I had never really grieved over that loss. Now I'm ok with it, but I do still miss her--some 12 years later.

Grief is a funny thing. I really didn't know that I had been suppressing the grieving process for three years. But it came out that day. Another funny thing about it was that I quit being so angry with the rest of the family that had treated her badly, after I allowed the grieving process to continue. A lot of stress began leaving that day.

 

[teddy564339]

Not that this will be much of any help, but I found this interesting...

My mom is an ISTJ, and when it comes to people, she rarely cries. Maybe she's just good at hiding her emotions, but she pretty much never cries in movies about people dying, and she seems to be pretty collected when it comes to sad things with people.

But when it comes to animals...she totally breaks down. In any sad animal movie, she will cry so hard. One time in a movie I didn't think was very sad, I looked over and saw her crying uncontrollably...I thought she was faking it to be funny at first, that's how much she had lost it.

And we've had a lot of pets growing up, and she has gotten very upset and cried over each one.

I'm trying to remember the things she's told me that have made her feel better. She doesn't believe in heaven or hell, but with pets, she likes to pretend that there is a pet heaven and likes to imagine them playing happily. She also tries to look at it rationally sometimes too...she reminds herself that they had full and happy lives, and that it would never last forever, so it had to come sometimes. She even sometimes mentions how there are difficult things about having pets and that some of the messes and responsibility are gone now.


So it's interesting hearing you bring this up, considering how my mom is.

 

[On the road to Damascus]

Sela - I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I am a "cat person" and have had the privilege of sharing my life and home with a few of them over the years. At present, I am cat-less but hope to welcome a pet into my home in the future when things settle down a bit on the work and life front.

I had the sad duty to put down the wonderful black cat of my room-mate a few years ago. She was on an extensive work trip to Asia and her cat succumbed suddenly to congestive heart failure. I was at the emergency vet and calling her cell phone with a 13 hour time difference trying to make a very difficult decision. The only thing that my room-mate asked was that I stay with Mordecai (the cat) while he was euthenized. I did and it was a very sad yet strangely "circle of life" moment. My room-mate wanted Mordecai cremated and they put his remains into a small little ceramic container.

Hugs to you...grief, in whatever format (for a cherished pet or a cherished loved-one)...needs to run it's course.:sad:

 

[firedancer42]

Sela, I'm really sorry to hear about your cat. We all have our own way of dealing with grief, and I hope you'll find what works best for you. I really like your paw print idea...hang in there.

But when it comes to animals...she totally breaks down. In any sad animal movie, she will cry so hard. One time in a movie I didn't think was very sad, I looked over and saw her crying uncontrollably...I thought she was faking it to be funny at first, that's how much she had lost it.

I can certainly relate to this. My family and friends have learned not even to ask me to see a "sad animal movie" as we call it. While I am more physically upset about people I know in real life I hardly ever get too worked up over something happening to someone in a movie. However, if anything happens to a dog especially, well, I'm going to need some heavy duty Kleenex. I guess I just see animals as more helpless. Opposite from your mom I believe in heaven and hell for humans but not for animals. For me, if I person passes away there is more, but not for animals. Just my little sidebote response.

 

[nosilla]

Sela, I am so sorry for you and your cat.
I've never had any person that I've been close to die (yet). I've had many animals over the years... but I never ever really "clicked" with them until one dog, Ruby. I don't know what it was about her... but I loved her. She was almost two years old, and we noticed that she wasn't eating her food one day. We made an appointment that morning, but when we came home- she was dead. I have never ever cried so much/hard in my entire life. I was a wreck the next day at school, and it did not help at all that we were asked to do a "quick-write" about a pet that has affected our life. I just broke into tears- people thought I had really lost it.
I only really cry at animal movies too... especially Homeward Bound. Poor Shadow! D:

 

[skygghet]

Sela, hang in there. I am sort of in the same situation. My cat, of 7 years, was diagnosed with cancer a week ago Friday. He has had a lump on the side of his hind leg that had been increasing in size. I was prepared to hear this. It didn't really faze me. My wife on the other hand, was a wreck. The vet said he wasn't in pain and didn't know how long he has. We choose to have him home with us, for the same reasons you state. I do know once he does pass on, I will be a wreck.

 

[Sela]

When I was getting ready for work tonight (I'm here now), Droxine (the cat) kept meowing so I let her in the bathroom. She jumped into the bathtub (it's empty) and won't come out now. She was drooling also when I left. I have my doubts whether she's going to survive the night, but I'll let you all know. Thanks for the support.

 

[curious0610]

So sorry to hear about your cat... I'm a cat person myself and as my cat is getting old now, I've been preparing for what might happen. don't think i could deal with having another cat for a long while after.

hang in there, and I hope the time you have to spend in the last moments will be worthwhile.

 

[firedancer42]

I only really cry at animal movies too... especially Homeward Bound. Poor Shadow! D:

I was thinking of that very movie when I posted! That as the Fox and the Hound...they killed me as a kid and still do, every time.:sad:

 

[niss]

I was thinking of that very movie when I posted! That as the Fox and the Hound...they killed me as a kid and still do, every time.:sad:

Oh man--The Fox and the Hound! My kids wore out that VHS tape--and me in the process!
:crazy:

 

[KrystRay]

I cried when my cat died, but only about a day because I knew I'd miss him. I generally deal with death quite well, because I know it's just part of life and being human. I believe in God, so I believe in Heaven and I think that God has a special place for cats in Heaven

 

[Wake]

Just to prove that we're not complete robots:

My cat (well, one of them; I have 4 actually) had been acting lethargic all week and rejecting her food. Finally got her to the vet Friday morning and got the bad news that her kidneys are failing and that I'll have to put her to sleep.

This is the first time I've had to deal with this. While the vet was running the stats past me, I was thinking about five steps ahead. Basically, what it amounted to was that I wanted my pet home for the weekend so that I could:

1) Get pictures
2) Contact my daughter so that she could come over and spend time with the cat in question
3) Spend time with said pet before she has to go back to be put to sleep

The vet gave her an I.V. of fluids and some vitamins to (hopefully) get her through the weekend. Monday is when she will be taken back for the final visit.

As to the "we're not robots" part, while I dealt with matters at the vet (receiving the information, paying the bill, driving home with my pet, etc.) in a "deal with it" manner, once I got home I fared very poorly and have not dealt with it very well at all. She (the cat) is only 4 years old; however, because it is a white cat, the vet stated that she was predisposed to genetic problems and likely dealt with this her whole life, but it's just now caught up with her.

Question: How do the rest of all you ISTJ's deal with the loss of a loved pet?

Don't hate on robots! Had that cat been a mechanical robot we wouldn't have these problems :wink:

state of mourning, then I act melancholy until I stop thinking about the pet on a daily basis, which takes a while.

 

[RedFairy]

You have my sympathy. I feel the loss of any pet, whether it's a cat, dog or rat, and it does end in tears! I've taken the deaths of pets very well in the past, but I don't know what will happen when my current dog dies. He is my baby boy!

 

[Sela]

Here she is. She was put to rest this morning.

 

[RedFairy]

She was beautiful! So sorry for your loss.