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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
OK, little practical challenge here. Severely limited because I am not too keen to share details, but....if an IFNP holds dear beliefs which are actually dangerous to them, but those beliefs are a big part of their lifestyle and self image, how would you try to ease them onto a different path? I am in this situation with someone I care about, who has damaged themselves, and may damage themselves further unless they stop doing the thing that has harmed them. Further damage could lead to severe illness or death.
It isn't an addiction, or a mental illness or an eating disorder. It's something that, if they didn't have health problems on the first place, would be pretty harmless.

I know a few Fi-doms, and they tend to have VERY strong beliefs in right and wrong, and I've never yet successfully swayed one in an argument on something that matters to them.
 

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From what you're saying, I'm thinking back to my self-destructive days in order to get myself into the mind of your friend.

Based on my own experience of myself, my answer to your Q is---> No way of swaying. No way.

When I was self-destructing, I believed wholeheartedly in the reasons why I was doing it. No friend could plant any shadow of a doubt in me -and they tried for years. When my behavior is backed up by a strong why that drives it, there is nothing you can do to stop me. I will drive to my death, as dramatic as this sounds.

The only thing that changed my ways was hitting my lowest point, becoming homeless, and having a mental breakdown. I had to reevaluate my entire life at that point. That's what it took. I've learned that you can't save people who don't want your help.

I don't know your relationship with your INFP, how close you are, and if they trust you. If you are very close and they trust you, I think you could write them a letter. I personally respond best when a SO writes me letters that are well-thought out, and I can have my own time to read it and process it in solitude. My own parents wrote me letters in the past when they saw that they could never get through my skull, and surprisingly I was more receptive to that medium than to a face to face conversation.
But if the INFP and you aren't close, or if they don't trust you... your letter will probably end up flushed down the toilet. You can always try and give it to the gods, see what happens.
 
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Hmmm it’s hard without many details but I’ll try my best and maybe something might be helpful. First of all, how are you going about changing their mind?

Have you told them why you’re concerned and why you think their belief is hurting them? Express that you genuinely do care. Avoid phrasing it in a way that tries to force anything on them or pressure them to change their belief.

In my experience, when people try to get me to change my mind on a value or belief I hold dear to me, I can get more stubborn about it especially if it feels like they don’t understand why I hold it dear to me. It could even feel like they don’t respect me if they don’t realize how much it means to me. Since it’s such a large part of their lifestyle and self-image, getting out of that belief is going to be really rough and might even throw them into an identity crisis of sorts.

Maybe try to find out what experiences led them to believing whatever it is they believe and just sorta ask them to talk about themselves and their experiences with it and guide the conversation in a way to help them figure out how it’s harming them for themselves. Ask gentle, non-accusatory questions and let them know they don’t have to share the answer if they don’t want, but getting them to think about it is key. Most importantly, give them space to reflect on it for themselves. If you straight up say “stop believing this or that,” they’re naturally going to resist.

I’m good ar picking up when people are trying to sway me and it can sometimes make me more cautious or stubborn around them because I believe in “live and let live” haha. So let them know that you’re goal is to help them, not to sway them.
 

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You might want to look into something called the "Backfire Effect." It's a psychological phenomenon about how actively trying to change someone's mind will only further strengthen their original belief. It's like going to the gym and lifting weights. The more the mind has to defend its beliefs, the stronger the belief becomes. You are likely only further entrenching your friend's ideas with confrontation. There was also a brain imaging study done (I think it was USC) that showed that when someone's values are challenged, the brain activates the same neural pathways that light up when a person is in physical danger, like coming across a bear in the woods. So the brain really does protect values and beliefs with the same vigor that it protects the physical self.

The best way to help is by subtly finding a way to quietly influence your friend into deciding on their own to disentangle this value or belief from their identity. As an ENTP, this might be a problem for you since this type can be rather cavalier and confrontational. You have to let go of wanting to be right/win the debate if you really want to help your friend.
 
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