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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I've been always typed as an INTP and the personality description in this forum fit me almost (who i was) perfectly. At first I was satisfied, however, when I took in enough ideas and ruminated on the many things i researched over internet about the experiences in life, I started to have a dissatisfaction for myself, my personality (being an INTP) and the things I did, I mean I didn't want to be so lazy, shy, and have no friends. it began to feel more and more uncomfortable when I saw that others had more and more friends and I didn't.

The most devastating part was that my friends were actually trying to stay away from me because I was pretty clingy they thought that I was a "stalker" and a creep because I smiled too much and didn't talk enough. I liked joining in groups and listening in to others' conversation, but was very shy and did not talk much and I didn't realize that something was wrong until it was too late. I'm pretty sure all of my strong personality traits still fall into the INTP category, but lately I questioned myself that perhaps it is possible to develop weak traits into strong ones. Or even that I was a just shy Extrovert.

Even though I used to love staying at home and close and comfy to my computer, it was probably because I had no where else to go and the fact that I was actually raised by the computer my dad sent me and the ones that my mom bought me. I did not fully learn basic english until age 11 (i came to america at age 8 and am 19 now), which may have accounted for my lack of friends in the first place. However, I remember that I was always described as "shy" by most of my relatives, even when I was little.

And even now, after going through chronic minor depression after an awful relationship with an ENFP because of my INTP tendencies, I found that that I lost interest in the introverted things i used to do, playing computer games, drawing, and reading books. I got tired very easily, even by the things that energized me before, computer games that i used to play unrelentingly, and became more and more lazy to the point of affecting my education, I started to stop caring about myself. (Although you can probably also argue that me staying too much on the computer may have caused all the down turns in my life)

And somehow after that I was more motivated to change the other parts of myself that i didn't like. I started to talk more to people and like it, as if I was getting energy from them, (although i was still shy towards strangers and large groups that paid attention to me).

It become easier and easier to open up to people and now staying at home is starting to feel like a drag. Even when i'm not depressed, doing the old things that i did felt less satisfying than going out and talking to friends or even my friends. Although now i still only have a few friends after starting college and a little bit shy towards strangers (but much less so than before), I find that I actually enjoy their company somewhat. Although, being in front of class for a presentation still gives me anxiety.

For example, this weekend, I felt that I would be bored to death staying at home (i had all the entertainment I could get on the computer) and I actually searched for a volunteer work at a pumpkin festival, it was only then I felt satisfied. Even though I first signed up for volunteer work (that was the first time i signed up for myself) that doesn't happen for another week, I felt that I should do things sooner.

So what do you think guys? Am I even a true INTP? or just some other personality disguised as one?
I still believe that I am an intp on the inside though. But my Openess to experience is turned up pretty high (it wasn't before) and scored an a 50% on introversion/extroversion test, whereas I used to be over 70% introvert.
 

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You are not an INTP if you don't want to stay at home and read a book and instead you much rather go out and small talk with people you don't even know well... You were the shy extrovert nothing else.

I know a ISTP friend. I am sure he is an introvert just because he is soo shy and he is scared of a failure. I would classify him as an ESTP or even ESFP but a rly shy one.

Or you maybe are a true INTP, but your deppression made you change to a more extroverted guy for you to feel more 'normal' about yourself and fit in a group better. If thats the case, you will soon realize you can't pretend to be some1 who you are not and will become more introverted once again.

Conclusion: I don't belive that people can change their personalities, they can either find their true selves when they become more mature, or they can change themselves with force, resulting in a total collapse later.
 

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yeah bud, sounds like the introversion got the better of you a bit and when joined with other issues of the time lead to depression. Introverts like INTP's and INTJ's have feelings too, which has been expressed fastidiously on the forums of this site, and from the explanations that have come from many of the (younger especially) members of this site that I have read, i would say that though the introverted/intuitive/thinkers enjoy the solitude because there is peace in it, but also miss the interaction with another compatible person from time to time, though they would rather in most cases be alone since its so hard to find other people worth spending time with for them.

I know for a fact that my personality changes. Its usually more of an INTP sometimes, and I get plain extroverted in some cases as well, though for the most part im a solid INTJ. Thats because of all the deep chemical changes in my brain as I go through manic and depressive episodes though. as far as who I am when my mood swings chill out, INTJ all the way. (damn emotions getting in the way :angry: ) But im bipolar, so that shit makes sense.

as far as your deepest most personal aspects of your own ego and personality changing entirely? maybe... ive always been a fan of nurture over nature, but it would I believe still be a gradual change that occurs over time, and it would be more likely to slowly become something that still shares the main characteristics than a totally different type in every way.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
yea^, one more thing i forgot to mention, for the past year or so i've been having mood swings, I'm could happy (and perhaps feeling extroverted) for half of the day and then depressed for the rest, and perhaps anxious in between. the intervals are pretty random and sometimes i wouldn't know what got me and i would associate some events to my mood. I didn't figure that it could be mild bipolar until very recently and always thought that i was just being depressed sometimes, i never thought that i really needed treatment because it doesn't have a dramatic impact (besides, it feels awfully good to be extroverted). could this be making making me feel wanting to get out more? could me changing into hypomanic mode affect the apparent energy direction? because when i'm anxious, sick or too distracted (low energy), i still don't feel like talking to people, although when i do i don't seem loose energy.
it does sometimes feel horrible as i may regret my decisions or what i say or type (i had to edit some things out of my first post). sometimes i don't even remember what i typed unless i reread it, as if the thoughts were coming out instinctively or if i was a different person before.

i probably shouldn't be taking the mbti test now lol. I think about going to the therapist sometimes but i never feel that it's the right time when i can heh, maybe i'm nervous because i have never seen one before.
 

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Shadow mode for INTP would be ENTJ but from your description it doesn't sound like you reverted into an ENTJ rather like your Fe started making more of an appearance. May be you are ENTP? They have feeling function higher up on their cognitive ladder and it is Fe at that, the function that gives you desire to belong to a group, associate with other people. ENTPs are close relatives of INTPs but they have a dominant extraverted function and may feel depressed if they spend too much time introverting. Overall extravert forums get more depleted over the weekend while introvert ones keep going almost at same strength.
 

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It sounds like you want to be more socially competent. I don't see anything wrong with that, and I dunno if you could change your type if you tried. Maybe you are not INTP, one test is not good enough for anything IMO. I get tired of staring at my computer myself. I like action, but I don't want it 24/7.

From An INTP Profile ~~~~~ I love this essay.

While proficiency may not be a central goal, competence always is. The difference here may be subtle, but it is important. If an INTP decides to learn a skill, then it is very important for him that he reaches a sufficient level so that basic errors can be avoided. Errors made by others are to be expected and can be criticised. But errors made by oneself attack the very root of the person, which is ultimately about rationality, logic and truth. INTPs hate to think of themselves being in any way inadequate, at least in areas that are important to them. So, as soon as he puts himself behind some task, then he must achieve competency. But that is as far as it goes. Refined competency requires too much effort and has little attraction. It would require practice and that usually bores an INTP. Hence, it is common to see INTPs dabbling at many things, achieving competency, just enough to prove to themselves that they could become more proficient if they wished, but rarely actually bothering to refine their skills further. This is a point at which we begin to get a feel for the workings of iNtuition backing up Thinking. The INTP has a whole set of skills which he knows that he would be proficient at, yet other people may know little of this. He is satisfied with the knowledge that he has these skills but often sees no requirement to demonstrate this to others, an indication of the strong Ti nature.

~~~I would say you want the skills and proficiency to socialize better but feel lacking atm. At the risk of being general, I would say INTP's don't understand their emotions easily. You want to get out of the house, but why? Many people could answer that question easily. Can you? Maybe you were feeling lonely and didn't think to call it that. I was very self destructive when I was younger, and I was dissatisfied with most everything in my life. I didn't understand my emotions and my emotions beat me up. When I was 19, I drove around drinking beer all day with my friends looking for easy girls. I wanted better competency in those areas.
 

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yea^, one more thing i forgot to mention, for the past year or so i've been having mood swings, I'm could happy (and perhaps feeling extroverted) for half of the day and then depressed for the rest, and perhaps anxious in between. the intervals are pretty random and sometimes i wouldn't know what got me and i would associate some events to my mood. I didn't figure that it could be mild bipolar until very recently and always thought that i was just being depressed sometimes, i never thought that i really needed treatment because it doesn't have a dramatic impact (besides, it feels awfully good to be extroverted). could this be making making me feel wanting to get out more? could me changing into hypomanic mode affect the apparent energy direction? because when i'm anxious, sick or too distracted (low energy), i still don't feel like talking to people, although when i do i don't seem loose energy.
it does sometimes feel horrible as i may regret my decisions or what i say or type (i had to edit some things out of my first post). sometimes i don't even remember what i typed unless i reread it, as if the thoughts were coming out instinctively or if i was a different person before.

i probably shouldn't be taking the mbti test now lol. I think about going to the therapist sometimes but i never feel that it's the right time when i can heh, maybe i'm nervous because i have never seen one before.
Uh oh bud, don't go blasting wikipedia on information on manic depression. Self diagnosis is a big no no in the psych world. If you think you may be having major psychological issues, you can always swing by a psych office and have a few talks, and see what they think... but I really wouldn't recommend doing to much research into psychological disorders if the intent on the research is to discover your own.

and there really isn't any such thing as mild bipolar exactly... more like different types. I have the rapid cycling type, which is a pain, but at least I don't usually stay manic or depressed for months on end like some people with bipolar disorder do :confused:

I do know with myself some of what you just typed sounds pretty familiar, but relating to that sort of information is easy for almost anyone to do to an extent, because its the interpretation of the reader that decides what the speaker meant, you know what I mean? pretty much anybody can go on one of those bipolar/depression/anxiety disorder tests and get bad results from it that aren't true.

I think, if you feel you are lacking happiness in your life due to these problems, go see a therapist a couple times. If you don't like it, change to a different one or stop going, no harm done. And there is no reason to be afraid, remember, they don't have any special powers or authority over you- your the one paying them ;)

if your not happy though, its better to do something about it than not. its your life, and you have every right to enjoy it to the fullest. best of luck bud:proud:
 

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Discussion Starter #8
well, i'm starting to think that i'm the oddball (which is supposedly considered normal from american perspective) out of every immigrant chinese. my parents were pretty much traditionalists that wanted me to study study and study and get good grades, they didn't care about my social life until i was closing in on age 18. somehow along the way i put all of my attention on to computers, games and the internet, and yet i am never really enthusiastic about about any of the things that i had semi-interest in, as if i did it just to get away from my real life.
i mean i wonder about how others like could be totally happy just completely following what their strict parents. if i think of it from my parents perspective, the least things i should worry about is friends, affection, and interests that aren't academic being a zeroth generation chinese (i should be worried about food, shelter, and money to send back lol). even now, i feel that my interests were never really developed and i don't really know who i am, perhaps that's the root of the problem; i'm the oddball that did not want my parents to tell me what to do and stood in between the road and didn't know where to go. The way i see it, this kind of problem should occur more for the future children of mine (who are influenced by culture and peers from the start) rather than myself.

oh why couldn't i be happy just listening to what my parents say :confused:
 

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I never really got how anybody could be completely happy taking on any one thing in general.

That sort of parental influence is pretty natural considering the cultural ties to the situation. Its good in the sense that your parents cared about you enough to push you in a direction that they felt would allow you to be a successful and productive human being, but if you feel that emotional connection with others around you is more important, have at it. You gotta be who you want to be. Im sure that If you are happy, they will be happy for you.

part of growing up is learning about what kind of person that you are. The MBTI typing can help in doing so if used properly, so this could be a good place for you to get you on your way to where you want to be. Learning more about the specific properties of how your personality functions from and objective perspective is a great tool in deciding what is really important to you, what you really want from life, and the best ways to achieve a happier existence.
 

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I thought I was INTP for the longest time. A thing to remember is that ENTPs are often times very introverted for extroverts because our ideas which defy convention are often times met with rejection or even hostility.

Ask yourself this: would you be afraid to do stand up comedy because you just get stage-fright or would it be that you fear people won't like you? Or would you not be afraid?

If you answered either of the latter I'd say you're more ENTP. I'm addicted to having people love my ideas and personality but I had a hard time fitting in growing up so I'm lost in fantasy a lot.

Would you rather change the world or understand it? The ENTP wants to make an impact, the INTP wants to understand.
 

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I know for a fact that my personality changes. Its usually more of an INTP sometimes, and I get plain extroverted in some cases as well, though for the most part im a solid INTJ. Thats because of all the deep chemical changes in my brain as I go through manic and depressive episodes though. as far as who I am when my mood swings chill out, INTJ all the way. (damn emotions getting in the way :angry: ) But im bipolar, so that shit makes sense.
I used to have this problem. I thought I was INFP for a long time because of mood swings. (Never diagnosed, probably because I was never institutionalized, but I was prescribed to mood stabilizers for years before deciding to stop take them). Sometimes I wonder if it was all of the horrible chemicals in the pills I was taking that made me the way I am now- like they deadened emotions permanently in myself.

I think, though, that the constant changes inside my head made me question everything so much more... and to, in clearer-headed days, be more objective.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I thought I was INTP for the longest time. A thing to remember is that ENTPs are often times very introverted for extroverts because our ideas which defy convention are often times met with rejection or even hostility.

Ask yourself this: would you be afraid to do stand up comedy because you just get stage-fright or would it be that you fear people won't like you? Or would you not be afraid?

If you answered either of the latter I'd say you're more ENTP. I'm addicted to having people love my ideas and personality but I had a hard time fitting in growing up so I'm lost in fantasy a lot.

Would you rather change the world or understand it? The ENTP wants to make an impact, the INTP wants to understand.
Well, i do sometime fantasize about showing off, perhaps even being famous and rich just to get the people's attention just to think about how good that would feel. Perhaps to make people regret not being my friend :tongue: But I looked at ENTP profile and it has everything that i'd want to be, but i pretty sure it's something i'm not and i can't be right now. I just took a few different tests, but they gave me different results, like ISTP, ESFP, and then INTP again on the last one with the intro/extrovert percentages on 54/44.

I mean i love listening to (often eavesdropping) and being around people, but sometimes it is uncomfortable when i feel that they notice that i don't talk enough because i can't express my ideas fast enough that makes fast and loud talkers very intimidating. My thinking and speaking process seem pretty seperated, perhaps due to the way i learned english from mostly listening and reading books i probably didn't practice speaking enough due to my childhood shyness.
 

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I used to have this problem. I thought I was INFP for a long time because of mood swings. (Never diagnosed, probably because I was never institutionalized, but I was prescribed to mood stabilizers for years before deciding to stop take them). Sometimes I wonder if it was all of the horrible chemicals in the pills I was taking that made me the way I am now- like they deadened emotions permanently in myself.

I think, though, that the constant changes inside my head made me question everything so much more... and to, in clearer-headed days, be more objective.
haha for real right? I stopped taking them because I wouldn't stand all the side effects and how they would kind of make some things better but other things worse... and being stuck in that weird emotionless state... but the anxiety issues becoming way worse (maybe because i wasn't as distracted by all the intense physical sensations of the mood swings)

I still have crazy mood swings and feel unbearably intense emotions, but my hands are permanently shaky, like i drank way too much coffee.

the mood swings are fucked... I turn into a pretty much entirely different person. The me I identify with most and am the most level and controlled is an INTJ, but when I get manic I act a lot more like an ENFP... hypomania is more like an INTP. I don't even know what I would type myself as when I get depressed...

it keeps things interesting though, and I am fine with enduring some ridiculously bad days because it makes the ridiculously good ones even better.


To the OP tho, if its recommended that you should be on medications in the event that you go see a psych, its prob a good idea to give it a shot. I'm managing, but its sketchy. I believe its something like 50 times more likely that I would commit suicide than an average person.... Ive read reports on studies that were conducted regarding a number of tests being done on a group of 100 some odd males with rapid cycling bipolar disorder and by the end of it all around 1/3 had committed suicide. not from crazy tests or anything the psychs did, they just had depressive episodes and checked out.
 
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