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Yep that clears it up. I just hear stories ... and have had it happen to me where... the Fe user uses you for their ego. They charm you for the sake of making themselves feel better. I just fear that idea of being charmed and having it not be genuine.

I also wouldn't want someone just serving me all the time and making me happy if I didn't do the same for them. If it makes them happy that I'm happy... that's still not really enough. So this idea of an Fe user being able to give the Fi user what they want kinda bothers me cause it poses the question..... do I give them anything? And if I don't.... then am I just like a bird that they feed bread to and then leave? And then makes me want to jet out of there.
I worry about this a lot. I don't know if I really give anything to the INFJ I know. I don't think of her doing it out of anything self-serving but just natural Fe-reflexes, but the Ni-dom makes her very mysterious and I know there's more going on than I can see. I'm curious, but I don't probe it because I don't know if I'm allowed to :confused: I only remember one or two times when I felt something a little less 'light' coming from her.
What do you INFJs feel INFPs give you? I'm sure we all hope that we're not just taking from you! :happy:
 

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I worry about this a lot. I don't know if I really give anything to the INFJ I know. I don't think of her doing it out of anything self-serving but just natural Fe-reflexes, but the Ni-dom makes her very mysterious and I know there's more going on than I can see. I'm curious, but I don't probe it because I don't know if I'm allowed to :confused: I only remember one or two times when I felt something a little less 'light' coming from her.
What do you INFJs feel INFPs give you? I'm sure we all hope that we're not just taking from you! :happy:
One of my INFP freinds helps ground me and remember what is important to me. She helps me use Fi when I should but would not have if she were not there to give me permission. If I find an INFP who is honest and has similar values to my own they are extremely valuable to me. They are also often silly and fun with all the possibilities they come up with. They are very creative and can find ways to extinguish the bordom. They are always into some new interesting thing they read about or heard about. They bring it to my attention, I run it through my Ni to see if it is good enough to use and if it is, I set it in motion.
 

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I also wouldn't want someone just serving me all the time and making me happy if I didn't do the same for them. If it makes them happy that I'm happy... that's still not really enough. So this idea of an Fe user being able to give the Fi user what they want kinda bothers me cause it poses the question..... do I give them anything? And if I don't.... then am I just like a bird that they feed bread to and then leave? And then makes me want to jet out of there.
I really needed to hear that, thehigher. I have always used my Fe to make people happy - partly because I love to make people happy, but also I am afraid that if I don't then they will leave. A twisted concept really, payment for friendship, but it is how I was raised - service for 'love'.
I needed to hear that Fe's really may want to make me happy back, and that they may not feel right if they don't.
 

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In my experience, Fe types can be really annoying. Especially Fe Doms. But INFJs are cool, from what I've seen. I've only met 1 confirmed INFJ before, though...
 

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I think it's that the Fe is all about working in harmony instead of conflict, and being polite and appropriate as well as maintaining etiquette. Most importantly, it delights in kindness and acts of courtesy. It isn't perfect, but I'm glad it pleases others. This drives me to keep it up.
 

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Fe is kind of charming. If not charming, it's definitely one of the most digestible part of our personalities.

Extroverted feeling is one of the easiest traits to spot. Big warm smiley smiles with smiley eyes. Hand gestures. Frowns with furrowed brows. That kind of thing. You can pick us out of a crowd for sure.

I think it's reassuring for people in general. When we're sad we look sad. When we're happy we look happy. Etc. People know where we're at. A lot of introverted feelers are good at reading people & Fe makes us an easy read... maybe they appreciate the straighforwardness.

Having said that, Fe is tricky business. I argue, people can read our temperaments but nobody can't read our minds. Sometimes I'm smiling for nefarious reasons (ie. "hahaha... dumbass") or for reasons unrelated to anything (ie. replaying a tv skit in my head). It throws my ENFP spouse for a loop when my face goes blank or when my facial expression doesn't match what's going on. "What's wrong? What's up? Are you okay? What are you thinking?"

Yep that clears it up. I just hear stories ... and have had it happen to me where... the Fe user uses you for their ego. They charm you for the sake of making themselves feel better. I just fear that idea of being charmed and having it not be genuine.
Three parts
1. Not being genuine:
Touché. Sometimes I think introverted feelers have an easier time manipulating the feelings they project. I fall for it a lot with introverted feelers.

Introverted feeler: "I really wanted that last cookie."
Me (with a mouthfull of cookie): :shocked: You did? :frustrating: I'm so sorry.
Introverted feeler:"Bahahaha... No you're so gullible. I'm just kidding. I've had 4 of those already. I'm stuffed. They're good, huh?"
Me: Oh. Yeah. :unsure: Hahaha. :dry:

But no, you've overestimated us. Overestimated me at least. That's something I can't do. I can't project anything I don't genuinely feel: When I try to force a smile my cheek twitches. I'm not good at fake crying either. I have a difficult time hiding excitement. In drama I'd fight the giggles just before speaking a funny line. The only way I can fake it is to try to conjure it up (ie. thinking of sad things & trying to be sad). But I need time to do that. In the moment i'm no good. Thanks....grandma... I love it... *cheek twitching*

pt 2 people pleasing Many, many types of people are people pleasers. Introverted feelers & extroverted feelers alike. There's nothing wrong with wanting a little harmony & peace within our social group and for people to be happy. Most of the time that urge is coming from a very genuine place. People pleasers run into trouble when they degrade themselves for the sake of others.

pt 3 ego ALL personalities have to battle the ego. Anything that can be done, can be done to feed the ego.
 

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I find infj to be comfortable for me, make me feel tended to and safe, it's cos their fe isn't a threat to our Fi it's only auxilary their introverted ness makes me feel like we are kindred spirits.
 

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Fi users can be quite stubborn at times, and the only way to soften our heart is to use lots of Fe on us.


We don't respond well when people are harsh toward us, but if you are nice toward us, we will be return the favor too.
To be honest, as an Fi user, I always believed in repaying people's kindness. I don't know whether other Fi users are the same as me, but this is one of my values. I never forget any kind deeds that is done toward me and I will always find ways to repay back a person's kindness in future, it may be many years later after they have forgotten about it, but I will still remember it.
I don't know whether this is an Fi thing, but anything that affect my emotions in a good or bad way, I remember it for a long time.
 
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