Personality Cafe banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
211 Posts
I think its very important to have a form of physical or even an emotional connection to each other, so that way, were able to attract ourselves to one another which what keeps up a relationship between the two of us. It should be a fundamental in a lot of relationships in order for it to work.

I could just imagine a relationship without having to feel that you clicked or connect with someone, its bound to fail.
 

·
MOTM July 2010
Joined
·
4,596 Posts
No chemistry, no relationship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
106 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
so do you see this as an inability to plan and make realistic decisions rather than letting yourself enjoy the passion? control vs openness
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
Only NTs would want to include chemistry in a rlationship... Ok that joke is pretty bad XD Seriously though, I fail at relationships because the chemistry is always one-sided. I decided to stop trying until I finally find someone with whom it would be two-sided. Simply, if there's no chemistry, I'm not dating. What's the point? Friends are good enough and I'm not desperate for relationships. And about what KrystRay says, yes, I agree, chemistry when it's too strong tends to blind you, which doesn't suit well for a long-term relationship. Personally I don't think it blinds to flaws completely, just make that person all the more loveable, so frankly speaking, I don't really mind.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
707 Posts
so do you see this as an inability to plan and make realistic decisions rather than letting yourself enjoy the passion? control vs openness
I have been enjoying the passion only because my life is kind of in limbo right now until I finish my Master's Degree. I much rather control my emotions and life rather than give into a bunch of hormonal impulses. Once I get my act together (school really messes up my control freakness and obsessive compulsiveness), if I don't see my current situation going anywhere, I'll end it even though the sex is really great.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
106 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
I have been enjoying the passion only because my life is kind of in limbo right now until I finish my Master's Degree. I much rather control my emotions and life rather than give into a bunch of hormonal impulses. Once I get my act together (school really messes up my control freakness and obsessive compulsiveness), if I don't see my current situation going anywhere, I'll end it even though the sex is really great.
so do you think you can find balance between control and passion or do you have to chose between one or the other? And where does your current situation have to go so you do not have to end it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
106 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Only NTs would want to include chemistry in a rlationship... Ok that joke is pretty bad XD Seriously though, I fail at relationships because the chemistry is always one-sided. I decided to stop trying until I finally find someone with whom it would be two-sided. Simply, if there's no chemistry, I'm not dating. What's the point? Friends are good enough and I'm not desperate for relationships. And about what KrystRay says, yes, I agree, chemistry when it's too strong tends to blind you, which doesn't suit well for a long-term relationship. Personally I don't think it blinds to flaws completely, just make that person all the more loveable, so frankly speaking, I don't really mind.
so too much chemistry weakens you and makes you feel desperate. Can you just enjoy it for what it is and not worry about reciprocity and it's loss of control it can have over you. Do you not like the mutual exporation of freedom and intoxication it brings to your life?

or do you compair it to crack addiction that leads some to become a stalker? LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
707 Posts
so do you think you can find balance between control and passion or do you have to chose between one or the other? And where does your current situation have to go so you do not have to end it?
I generally have to choose between one or the other. I am really not good at dealing with feelings and emotions. Love is a choice, not necessarily a feeling. If I want to have a relationship with someone, I don't necessarily need to have crazy hormones involved. I need to enjoy their company and believe that they have my best interest in mind, I'll spend time with them. My current situation (my overwhelming schedule) kind of clouds my judgements because I have too much on my plate. I'd rather make a rational decision with a clear mind than an emotional decision that might be changed with another splurge of hormones.

so too much chemistry weakens you and makes you feel desperate. Can you just enjoy it for what it is and not worry about reciprocity and it's loss of control it can have over you. Do you not like the mutual exporation of freedom and intoxication it brings to your life?

or do you compair it to crack addiction that leads some to become a stalker? LOL

Too much chemistry DOES make me feel desperate. Desperation creates a disgusting sense of self hatred inside of me. It's enjoyable until I can't control it anymore. I'm a control freak. I get better at managing it, but I don't think it's going to go away anytime in my life.

As far as the crack addiction, ESTJ's generally aren't addicts. We are far too controlling for that. I don't stalk people, but I do keep myself informed about what other people do in their lives that might affect mine :D This includes background checks. We are very informed and organized people.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top