Ehhh probably having depressed teen years and not the kind of experiences i wanted being closed off due to circumstances and depression made me avoid reality and wanting to constantly build a new future forgetting my past experiences so i wouldnt recognize my pain ever existed in the first place. It made me always look up ahead and leaving the past in the past because the more i was caught up with the past the more depressed i was getting.
Im in a better place now having accepted a good deal of my past issues and the fact that i moved on from them but the same pattern occurs even today. When ive got to deal with negative emotions from some event that took place in the present ill always repeat the same mechanism to avoid it. In my head im looking for something better, an ideal scenario that provides everything i missed in the present, basically my goal becomes to create something that fixes my problem right now. And that is how i escape, even if im only tricking myself and not actually fixing the problem.
Recently ive been trying to open up to others about my problems instead of closing off and dealing with them on my own so I will make myself face reality and actually lift that weight off my shoulders way more quickly than distracting myself from the issue.
Still easier said than done though.
And yeah words of affection actually make me uncomfortable. I dont think its anything 7 related though. I just cant take support from others easily, I need to make myself heal on my own from the way i change or do things instead.
It's a fundamental principal in psychology that our childhood experiences can affect us deeply in our adult lives. When we have symptoms, such as the emotional triggers you mentioned, the task at that point is to identify the root cause. There are multiple methods of both identifying the causes as well as ways to process thru those "wounds" and find healing and reconciliation. Sadly, much of the core methodology of counseling practitioners nowadays is the equivalent of putting a band-aid on these wounds as opposed to actually uprooting a source of someones pain, and for good reason, this is no easy task.
I was able to eliminate a significant amount of inner turmoil that was derailing my life through processing through some of my childhood experiences. It took many years but wow i'm blown away at how transformative it was!