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What were your childhoods like? Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished? Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you? Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP? Was family important to you?

Add whatever you feel necessary.
 

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I remembered answering this question before. I did not remember I remembered answering this question before.

Here was my answer:

I was a very quiet kid, at least around strangers and friends. At home, I threw tantrums every so often, fought with my youngest sister, punched my brother because I thought it was funny and I loved to hug my mom. I always daydreamed a lot and would often just sit by myself looking into the distance, or play out stories with my stuffed animals or just with pens. I also read a lot. My mom became very good at sneaking up to my room and opening the door without me hearing her approach so she could catch me reading and make sure I would go to sleep.

I started playing video games from a very early age too. My mom tells me I was 2 when I first started playing, sitting on my mom's lap and letting her take over whenever it got too scary (after explaining how the game worked to her). I played a lot with my brother or with my friends (I had one group of friends all throughout elementary school). However, if I was playing a single player game together with a friend at my house, I would often end up grabbing the controls on their turn to play to "help" or "show something" and then not giving it back for half an hour.

I was very good in math and absolutely hated anything artistic. I did all the extra, advanced problems for math class, but I was also always pretty lazy. Whenever we had to write a paper on something I would pretty much just copy stuff from a related book and maybe something from the internet, maybe rewording it slightly. I was always pretty good at knowing what the bare minimum was I could do to pass if I didn't feel like putting any effort in.

I'm not sure what else I could mention. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
[hr][/hr]

This might be interesting too:

http://personalityjunkie.com/the-intp/ said:
Phase I (Childhood)

This phase is characterized by the emergence and differentiation of INTPs’ dominant function, Introverted Thinking (Ti). Early in life, INTPs often employ their Ti to focus on one or two pursuits. They may, for instance, use it to master video games, program computers, get good grades, or perfect their 5 K time. Since Ti is a Judging function, INTPs often take themselves and their lives rather seriously. Even from a relatively young age, they are self-motivated and goal-oriented, striving for excellence in whatever captures their interests.

Phase II (Adolescence-30s)

Once their dominant Ti reaches a certain level of consciousness and differentiation, INTPs’ inferior function, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), enters the picture and begins to play a more influential role. Phase II INTPs also show increasing use and development of their auxiliary function, Extraverted Intuition (Ne). During this phase, INTPs often develop a stronger interest in intellectual and philosophical endeavors, poised to see and understand “the big picture.” Developing their Ne involves an opening of prior judgments to allow an influx of new information. But since Ne is extraverted and expansive, INTPs must explore a breadth of ideas before they feel confident about who they are and what they believe. Thus, Phase II INTPs may find it easier to identify what they don’t believe than what they do believe. Some may struggle with nihilism or cynicism, worried that they may never find absolute truth. It can therefore take INTPs a great deal of time, even decades, to discern what they believe about the world, themselves, and their place in the world.

Phase III (30s, 40s, & Beyond)

If all goes well and they are fortunate enough to enter Phase III, INTPs experience greater balance between their dominant Ti and inferior Fe functions. They discover that growth and integration takes place rather naturally as they learn to effectively and consistently employ their type’s strengths (i.e., their Ti and Ne).
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I remembered answering this question before. I did not remember I remembered answering this question before.



Here was my answer:
Thanks for the links! Yeah, perhaps I should search my questions more, but where's the fun in that? Useful though.

I am seeing a common trait which, kind of confirms my theory. I think my dad is an INTP, we relate on an intuitive level (I doubt it's Ni and not Ne but I could be wrong, he has all the Ne side effects like branching focus, curiosity in everything) and he uses Ti, that's obvious (I don't need you to tell me otherwise, more obvious than Fe) but his temperment is something which just doesn't seem to suit INTPs. He's a timid guy, with a lack of self-confidence, and whilst that might be something which INTPs say they have, they still seem to have a little rebellious or 'cheeky' kind of side to them. (Like you taking the controllers and not returning them or someone mentioned standing up against bullies) That's something which he completely lacks, he acts more like an INFJ in that sense when it comes to not wanting to upset others, too timid to overstep boundaries... I always imagine TPs as having this projected hardened shell, that it seems on the surface like things don't phase them but not my dad (maybe him being my dad just means that I don't see that side). Is this something which you could see an INTP acting like, the timid, concerned type? Keeping in mind perhaps moving around constantly in his childhood, always being the foreigner, probably aided to him being more of a bookworm than a social guy.

That phase II and III fits in him the sense that it took him a while to start looking at himself as a greater picture, like who he wants to be, trying to understand what he wants his purpose to be. I don't believe he's found that but in recent years (now he's in his 50s) I think he's finally finding it. Definitely went through depression and a point of hopelessness to reach that point.
 

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EvilShoutyRudolph
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What were your childhoods like?
Not great. My parents got divorced when I was 6, and I had to move into a shelter. Afterwards my dad found a girlfriend who would later on become abusive towards him(both physically and emotionally) and me(mentally). I also had to go and see a lawyer too, and I would be scared of saying something that may upset either of my parents, and my stepmother(even if it were the truth). My mom has also lashed out at me before, but luckily that stopped. Long story short, I didn't have the best childhood(took me this long to realize that what I was going through isn't considered normal or okay).
Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished?
Yes, but that was mainly around each parent individually. When I had to go talk with this type of Child Protection Agency, social workers, or the lawyers, I would do exactly what each parent told me to do, out of fear.
Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you?
Well first off, I was never expected to live a traditional life, but if I was then yes! It would be very painful and annoying.
Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP?
yes, I was and still am very bad with empathy. When I was younger I was very good at faking it, so that's why most people when I was younger thought I was empathetic.
Was family important to you?
No, not really. I actually would of preferred not even having a family in the first place.

Add whatever you feel necessary.
I hugged a toilet once with my friend, to silly photos with for my dsi. That's all I needed to add in.
 

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What were your childhoods like? Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished? Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you? Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP? Was family important to you?

Add whatever you feel necessary.
I had a happy childhood. My SFJ parents were always loving and supportive of me. They never gave me anything to rebel against. The only expectations I can remember being set for me were to be honest and not an asshole. It's kind of hard to rebel against either of those expectations. I was otherwise free to do whatever I wanted, really.

I wouldn't describe myself as an empathetic child. If someone hurt me or if I perceived them as a threat, I would hurt them without remorse. And while I would be happy to help other kids (I was always eager to teach other kids things I had learned, whether it was a concept in school they didn't understand or sports related), I wouldn't say that other people's feelings affected me all that much. I was always pretty good at understanding other people's emotions and motivations, though, and remember that I was quite adept at manipulation if the situation called for it. This was mostly accomplished by recognizing patterns in other people's behaviors and thinking about which emotions would work as explanations for which behaviors.

I spent most of my youth reading, playing video games, and playing sports.
 

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What were your childhoods like?
Upper middle class USA, highly educated ENFP and ENTJ parents, moved around quite a bit (five states), one sister (ESTP). I was quiet, avoided other people for the most part, and spent most of my time outside of school either reading or wading around, climbing trees, and catching animals outdoors.

Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished?
Depends on who you ask. I was incredibly straight-laced. I tried to do as my parents wished because I hated being a disappointing, incompetant failure in their eyes. They thought I was rebellious because I was forgetful and did not perform in school as well as they expected.



Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you?
I wasn't really expected to live a traditional life. I was expected to achieve a high education (at least a Masters degree) and a high salary. I would have loved to achieve this, but couldn't take the pressure and was too painfully shy. A traditional life doesn't sound that bad to me. It sounds pretty safe. I'd like more (country instead of suburbs, fun job instead of job to pay the bills), but traditional is ok. I find less traditional life to increase drama and therefore stress.


Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP?
I've always had a great deal more empathy than the people around me in my opinion, though many other people would disagree. I think this is due to how people define what's important. For example, I will get absolutely enraged over people enthusiastically killing an animal. One of the only times I've ever physically attacked someone was for torturing a grasshopper. For some reason most people consider this odd. On the other hand, I absolutely do not care about how yesterday's argument with your boyfriend over curtains devastated you. For some reason people consider this insensitive. The only time I experienced a noticeable increase in empathy was when I had my daughter. I'm sure it had to do with whatever body chemistry changes when you go through that, but I can't watch the endless body count that is the news anymore.

Was family important to you?

Add whatever you feel necessary.
Family is hugely important. Whether you are born with a good one or have to create one, the support and increase in resources makes life far easier. Plus, it's the most successful way to continue the species.
 

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What were your childhoods like? Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished? Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you? Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP? Was family important to you?

Add whatever you feel necessary.

I was a quiet kid in public, but very loud around my twin sister (INFP). I didn't really understand everyone else, I had a weird sense of humor, learned the alphabet at 1, When I was 3 I "helped" people color by scribbling all over their pages, I tried to convince my mom not to play soccer at 4, (it didn't work, someone took my ball and I cried). tried to make puns at age 5, and have been pretty much a bored loner for the rest of my life. My parents are ISFJ and ISTP. My ISFJ mom runs the house, and Si has always been a huge part of my life, everything was traditions growing up, and sometimes I liked it and sometimes I rebelled. My sister and I played pretend all the time. Extreme play pretend. We're talking recurring characters with personalities, names, families and whole lives. Sometimes we played dolls, sometimes just us. We learned at an early age that adults didn't want to be creative and play with us. Family was important to me because it was where I spent all my time. I didn't make a true friend until third grade.
Empathy definitely took a while for me to develop. I've always thought of myself as a selfish person.
 

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What were your childhoods like? Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished? Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you? Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP? Was family important to you?

Add whatever you feel necessary.

Here is something I posted in another INTP thread regarding empathy. You can find the thread here.

I would be curious to know if other INTPs can relate to my experiences with empathy . . .

When we have one of our monthly mass shootings, and the news is sharing all the sad stories about people who died and what their families are going through, I will feel a well of emotion at how sad that is and might even feel myself start to tear up, but I will always say something to myself like, “3000 people die in car crashes every day and I don’t cry about that. It would be illogical for me to care about these 30 strangers.” Then I don’t feel anything anymore and just move on with my day. I even get confused at how everyone else seems to care. I’ll think to myself: “Strangers die horrible deaths all over the world every day. I thought we all decided we didn’t care about that?”

I’m not able to turn my empathy off like that when someone I really care about is going through something. A family member or a close friend dealing with depression hits me hard, and there’s no amount of logic that will save me from that.

There are other times when my empathy is supposed to be triggered, but it doesn’t happen like it’s supposed to. Sometimes, when people I don’t feel close to decide to break down crying and share the horrible things going on in their lives, I’ll want to help them, sure, but I don’t automatically share in their emotions. To make my face do the right thing, I picture a puppy getting stabbed repeatedly while the person talks.
 

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What were your childhoods like?
Tough (illness in family), but ok (still got to live as a kid partially).

Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished?
Wasn't rebellious at all when young, more the opposite, too comformistic. There was enough shit for my parents going. So I kept relaxed and quiet. Until about age 16, then I decided that I was old and responsible (yeah, back then.) enough to decide for myself on some things. There it went a bit up and down. Then I got ill myself, creating quite some extra tension. Somewhat later left home in a huge fight. Didn't see, nor speak to them for a year or 2 after. Now it would be once per few months.

Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you?
Yes and no. I couldn't imagine me abiding to such. I think at this time I'm definately not living traditional life.

Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP?
Not really, I overempathized a lot, so to say, always standing up for the bullied. I was very protectionistic back then, over people I considered 'weak' / 'helpless' / 'against odds'. Over the years, that became less and less.

Was family important to you?
No. Well, yes, but no. I couldn't rely on them, as they had their own things to cope with, so I learned to not rely on them. This made for detachment, still up to today. I think it's more a way of 'tolerating' and 'familiarity', than 'actual family feels', that are left.
 

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What were your childhoods like? Were you rebellious or did you do as your parents wished? Would it pain you to live a traditional life that was expected of you? Was empathy difficult for you, if so when do you think empathy develops for an INTP? Was family important to you?

Add whatever you feel necessary.
My parents were working class folks, and I was kind of abnormal because my learning ability was way above my parents'. But, they treated me like a normal kid. My mom felt very proud of me for being smart, but I just saw myself as different since I'm terrible at things that normal people are good at.. like being clever, I was easily manipulated.

I was not rebellious, but I did ask many questions. I would question other people's religious beliefs, and they would get mad, and I slowly learned to keep my mouth shut and just read books instead. I might have been an ENTP as a kid, and I might still be an ENTP who's extremely quiet in person. My N and T are fairly balanced.

I don't know what it even means to be traditional or what it means to live a traditional life. I was fine living the life the I was born into. I find it weird that other INTPs want some exciting life experience when the external world didn't really matter much to me. I'd be content in most environments since I pretty much lived inside my head when I was younger. Now that I've developed the other functions, I'm more open to outer experiences.

I was naturally empathic, even though I wouldn't know what it meant. My feelings were (and still are) mostly generated by others. When I'm alone, I usually don't feel anything, unless I consciously try to. It's been like this since childhood. Sharing was never a problem for me, but I didn't attach to things even as a kid.

As a kid, of course family was important since I was dependent on them. I was raised by my grandmother, and she was (and still is) very kind. My parents would visit maybe one week every year. I didn't bond with my parents until around middle school. Maybe this is why I'm not attached to anything. It might be some defensive thing that I learned as a child.
 

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My childhood was kind of shitty.

My parents were good people, and they took care of me, but they were often away at work. I don't know if other INTPs experienced this, but from a young age in Elementary, I was bullied, a lot. People probably thought I was weird or different, and I was targeted. I didn't know how to explain this to my parents. I wasn't an asshole kid, and I tried to be nice to people, but they would end up being assholes to me anyways.

I had a driver who drove me to school everyday who I immensely respected. He was your average working class folk who taught me more about the world than elementary school ever did. When I told him my classmates treated me like shit, he taught me how to throw a punch. He was like a father figure to me more than my real father and taught me what standing up for myself was like.

So the next day, after 2 years of being bullied. It was like any other day in school. I was at my locker gathering my stuff, and I was getting bothered again, and it was the little shit who bullied me the most. I still remember what he said that ticked me off "Why are you so ugly?"

So I punched him in the face.

He basically just fell down on his ass and started crying like the little bitch he truly was, and the other little shits immedietly had those smug looks wiped off their faces as they just stared at me with horror. And oh dear, his nose was covered with blood and mixed with his tears. The teacher came out of the classroom and immedietly dragged me to the principle's office and called my parents. The school demanded I apologize, and I said "I'm not sorry for what I did" and as a result I got a one week suspension (not that I give a shit, it doesn't matter now).

Well, the bullying stopped, but the kids started to become afraid of me and stayed away from me, so I was back to square one, all alone again. That's how elementary school passed for me. The Fe of an INTP was never strong, but I think this experience really dimmed my Fe down ever more and I kinda just locked my "emphathetic" side away under a shell.

Things got a lot better afterwards though, and in the end, this experience still made me a better person later in life. And honestly, I don't regret punching that little shit in the face, he deserved it.
 
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