I want you to show me proof of how bad second hand smoking is.
No, wait.
I want you to show me proof of second hand smoking.
Oh, you can't?!
Well, whadya know. Then don't come tell me the air you breath is polluted by people like me and that I have to stop smoking for your sake, and all that jibberish you non-smokers whine about all the time. And even if second hand smoking did exist, then I would force a law that says you're not allowed to fart in public, because farts contain gases that are far more dangerous than carbon monoxide. In fact, I think I should put this in for vote right now just to see how people might react, but I can assure you my intention is merely to smack this deluded second hand smoking theory out of you. It's as dumb as "cover your mouth when you cough," when you sit in a tiny little room with twenty other poeple, it doesn't matter if you cover your mouth or not, it will spread! In fact, when you cover your mouth you spread it even further than if you don't cover your mouth. You're making it worse! Don't cover your mouth! And believe you me, this stupidity, this whining, is far more unhealthy to me and everyone else who reads this than me smoking in my apartment ten thousand miles away from either one of you. In fact, right now, you should be thanking smokers for paying the majority of your tax cut and being as mellow about it as we are.
And if you're going to take insurance into account.
Then get this.
I don't have insurance! *GASP* Oh noes! So, you're deluded if you think I'm sucking on the same welfare tit you are.
You influence far more people around you intoxicated on ethanol than you are on nicotine. You're far more unstable, and capable of far worse on ethanol than you are smoking tobacco. Yeah, because it's fun getting drunk, driving intoxicated, punching random people on the street in the face, beating your wife and kids, quarreling with people for no reason what so ever, disturbing the peace, attacking police officers, running after little kids with your dick in your hand, whatever. Oh, hold on, or are you going to tell me that smokers who drink alcohol are the ones who do all this? Oh, I see, we have now finally solved this evil mystery in our backyard; We're going to blame smokers who drink alcohol. Gotcha.