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Discussion Starter #1
Have you ever lost it in public so badly that you literally lost control and fell into blazing emotion?
I've had moments where I flipped my lid and in a purely desperation fueled escape from the unwanted stimuli I hurt those who were closest to me.

Anyone else hit that point as well?

Twitch
 

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same as above ^^
not sure if you mean only anger....

I've cried in public....a good few times....more times than I'd like to admit
 

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I never have. I am not against showing emotion, I am just guarded against people in general and only open up to people who I trust. Losing control of myself betrays a side that I know most couldn't handle.

I have been told several times "I have never seen you mad or upset." I have had spurts of anger/being upset/etc in private, but i have never come unglued at all, neither public or private. Not sure what would happen.
 

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I never, ever lose it in public. I have been upset before and people could tell, but I don't just go off the deep end or anything.

And I'm not really a crier but when I do cry it is NEVER in public, I never cry if I'm not alone.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Well, I've never really cried in public minus funerals, sad occasions and the occasional "silent cry" when it looks like my eyes are just watering.
As for my question, I guess I should have been more specific.
I didn't mean anger specifically, but more or less a situation you had to escape and people didn't understand and tried to stop you, or possibly you or someone you love being wronged to the point you let loose (in anger, rage, or verbal barragement).

I've never gotten angry to the point I lost control, I'm too level headed for that (been close though), but I have been pushed to the "escape point".
By "escape point" I mean the exact moment when there is too much stimuli and you can't handle another second of it.

I went through a rough patch emotionally and people kept doing "interventions" and basically bearing down on me in groups in small places.
Not a good thing to do to an emotionally unstable introvert.
They didn't understand but it drove me to the point of while escaping, hurting those who tried to prevent my escape.

The total lack of understanding of how an INFJ works was very evident and these were probably extreme situations, but I was just curious if anyone has felt like this.

Twitch
 

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I've never really lost control publicly to the point where it disrupts the environment. I have, however, had small anxiety attacks privately or when one other person is around. These may cause people to worry about me, but it's nothing serious. I try to keep these hidden because I don't want others to read too much into it.
 

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one time in the 5th grade I chased a guy all throughout school, couldn't catch him, others got in the way

good thing too cuz I would've killed him
 

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This sounds alot like what my friend calls "the incredible INTP" (after the incredible hulk), that is when pushed into a corner and not allowed to work things out, an INTP can go into a psychotic rage where they lose it and go to incredible extremes to escape.
Probably has relevance for other types, it's a thought.
 

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I hate crying in public, but I have before. It's because once I'm so wrapped up in my emotions, I don't even feel self-conscious; I just let loose. After the whole outburst, I'll feel kind of bad and embarrassed about it, but in the moment, I'm just focusing on getting out my emotions.... Thankfully this happens rarely though!
 

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I can't say I've ever had an angry outburst in public.
At home? Absolutely.

I got in a physical fight with my mom when I was about 17. (weird.)
I threw my phone into a wall and shattered it when I was 18.
I banged my head into a wall a few times in highschool in some sort of rage.
I've cleared counters of glass containers, flipped over tables, kicked over chairs...
All of which with people I'm comfortable with, though. Husband, mom, dad, siblings...that's it.

As far as other emotions go...

I frequently have panic attacks when I'm highly stressed or scared.
I've had pretty bad ones, some involving convulsions, and most involving severe hyperventilation.
Again, though, this has only been with my husband. Not even my original family has seen me do this.
EXCEPT, now that I think of it, with spiders. I'm arachnophobic, and a couple of times have had sudden panic attacks when coming in contact with a spider. This happened once or twice in high school (soon after the phobia appeared) and then once at work.
Each time in public, I've ran out of the room as fast as possible so as to avoid any further embarrassment, but obviously it was extremely embarrassing.

I've had a few times where I've lost control of my emotions in public in which I couldn't stop myself from crying.
Usually this has been angry, silent tears, and usually I've escaped in time to hide most of my reaction.
But there is once I can remember holding in tears because of something that was going on in my life at the time, and being asked a very mundane question by a classmate on an elevator. When I tried, to answer, nothing but sobs came out. The poor girl had no idea what was going on, and I was sobbing too hard to explain. Horrible, horrible memory.

Usually, my reaction to losing control in public, whatever the emotion, is getting up and leaving without a word. I've done this many, many times, and many people have gotten very angry at me for it.

Honestly, I chalk this up to being a Highly Sensitive Person, not being an INFJ.
I know this is typical with HSPs- I'm not sure that it really has anything to do with the personality type.
 

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I have lost it a few times in public. Few times at work..
People didn't know what hit them. Started having this more and more the last months actually.
Any stimuli was just too much and made me jump out. Either in words, or worse, in physical action.

As I read from most, I follow the same path..only lately, things were changing for me.
Don't think these outbursts are a good thing..but it did wake me up that keeping my mouth shut all the time made me a ticking time bomb. As I read here aswell, I kept my feelings and thoughts for me, cause of the fear of letting them out and exploding, as I did.

I do know now that it is not a right way to react..but there should be a balance. I managed to reduce the physical reactions by extreme concentrating on how I am reacting, what is making me react this way..and walk it off..or let it out in a heavy discussion with persons involved. In general..most people see these heated conversations as..I don't know the right word for it..it's not negative if you show you care..
 

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Odd this topic would turn up today. I have a very hard time hiding anger. My boss's daughter is a "manager" at our store and is basically a two faced snitch with no compassion for those she works with whatsoever. I can't stand people who lie to your face only to talk behind your back (forgive the tangent). However, she came in today for food and the second I saw her, I tensed up. One of the ladies I work with looked at me and knew straight away something was off. I felt terrible as she thought it was aimed at her. I had to explain my distaste for the owner's daughter. I'm terrible at hiding my anger in extreme situations like this.

As far as other emotions, I can hide them quite well around others. I feel bad about letting people know when I'm upset because I hate people worrying. I could never learn to hide it around my mother though. Still, I've never had an outbreak in public to speak of unless I'm pissed.
 

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I can't say I've ever had an angry outburst in public.
At home? Absolutely.

I got in a physical fight with my mom when I was about 17. (weird.)
I threw my phone into a wall and shattered it when I was 18.
I banged my head into a wall a few times in highschool in some sort of rage.
I've cleared counters of glass containers, flipped over tables, kicked over chairs...
All of which with people I'm comfortable with, though. Husband, mom, dad, siblings...that's it.
I have that same kind of explosive anger, minus the getting into fights with family, I can usually vent my anger enough on objects and not have to hurt any people. I've destroyed many phones and other electronics and have definitely banged my head on a wall or two. I'm really working on recognizing and controlling this, but it's proving to be something like a reflex, it happens before I can even think to stop it. I'm thinking it might be genetic because my dad always did the same thing, do you know of anyone in your family who had similar outbursts?
 

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do you know of anyone in your family who had similar outbursts?
Yeah, both of my parents had outbursts when I was younger. I remember my mom (INFP) throwing a trashcan across the kitchen once, and kicking a hole in a door another time. My dad (ESTJ) did some similar things, but they both mellowed out as they got older. I think I learned a lot of that behavior from them, though, because they were like that when I was young and impressionable.

My little brother (ISTJ) also was known for having angry outbursts- he actually used to try to suffocate himself under his pillows or blankets when he was real little. He used to chase me around the house with a toy bat when he was two or three, and got kicked out of Sunday school when he was 1 for kicking the other babies. (Ha. Can't help but laugh about that one!)
 

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Yeah, both of my parents had outbursts when I was younger. I remember my mom (INFP) throwing a trashcan across the kitchen once, and kicking a hole in a door another time. My dad (ESTJ) did some similar things, but they both mellowed out as they got older. I think I learned a lot of that behavior from them, though, because they were like that when I was young and impressionable.

My little brother (ISTJ) also was known for having angry outbursts- he actually used to try to suffocate himself under his pillows or blankets when he was real little. He used to chase me around the house with a toy bat when he was two or three, and got kicked out of Sunday school when he was 1 for kicking the other babies. (Ha. Can't help but laugh about that one!)
Very interesting. I really wonder if it is some sort of genetic trait, or because it's something that we grew up around outbursts like that became normalized. At least we're aware of it right? My dad would flat out deny that he was being over the top, even when he was ranting and raving, throwing stuff everywhere and screaming haha
 

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Very interesting. I really wonder if it is some sort of genetic trait, or because it's something that we grew up around outbursts like that became normalized. At least we're aware of it right? My dad would flat out deny that he was being over the top, even when he was ranting and raving, throwing stuff everywhere and screaming haha
Yeah, I'm not totally sure. My gut instinct would say that it's nurture rather than nature- learned behavior and coping mechanisms learned from early childhood role models (parents/primary guardians). If you learn that the way to deal with anger is to throw a tantrum, you're likely to emulate that behavior, especially if you're not taught an alternative to that type of behavior...you know?

On another note, though, emotional outbursts stemming from overstimulation for an HSP are pretty textbook, and I know that a lot of my outbursts in my past have been directly tied to being an HSP. My mom is also an HSP, and in that regard, I'd venture to say that part of my behavior is genetic, by way of HSP usually being a genetic trait, and it running in my family line.
 
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Yeah, I'm not totally sure. My gut instinct would say that it's nurture rather than nature- learned behavior and coping mechanisms learned from early childhood role models (parents/primary guardians). If you learn that the way to deal with anger is to throw a tantrum, you're likely to emulate that behavior, especially if you're not taught an alternative to that type of behavior...you know?
Sounds pretty right on to me. I can't relate to the HSP much, although it does sound like my mother a tad bit... thankfully I have never been one to get overly anxious or nervous in social situations, I just see red when certain things don't go my way, especially when they compound on each other and it just seems like the whole world is out to give you a bad day.
 
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