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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's 3 am but i cant sleep. and i've been thinking about something that has been on my mind for the past several years. it doesn't really bother me, but it has always been a puzzle to me so your insight would be appreciated in helping me solve this dilemma.

In my college classes, my TAs and professors had discussion or office hours where people could randomly come in to talk to them about questions or ideas they had for research. In the classes I'm specifically thinking about, i know the TAs/professors thought well of me because they later wrote recommendations for me to go to the post-bacc program i'm in right now (at the school of my dreams!) and the admissions committee said they heard stunning things about me from my professors. I've always been serious and focused on the work, and they have always told me that they appreciated me taking the work seriously. I'm also not pushy - and i'm really good at respecting teacher's decisions on whatever grade they give me, and i'll just work harder to meet their standards. also, if they are busy or I notice other students waiting, i'm very sensitive about this and will tactfully shorten our conversation so i talk about what i had questions about, but i don't go on forever (unlike some students who will go on and on and on even though people are waiting). i always make sure i am respectful of both the teachers time and other students time.

But this is what is on my mind: usually the TAs/professors were really informal- there were no sign up sheets and a lot of times, and it was more of a group setting so people were free to join in on any conversations. But here is the thing. Sometimes when they would be talking with another student, i would go join them (since i was accustomed to the group setting). And the TAs/professors would almost always ask me to give them a minute, so i would wait somewhere else and afterward, we would have an in-depth 1 on 1 conversation. It never bothered me, i just assumed they needed one-on-one time with that one student, but thinking about it now, it has happened to me almost all the time (like literally every time, except a few instances). But then- the thing that i wonder about is why it wasn't the same the other way around? So for example, if i would be in a serious 1 on 1 conversation with the TA/professor and some other student came to join and just sat there, the TA/professor would never ask the other student for a minute, even though it was a specific one on one conversation. We would just be really intensely talking about whatever topic. depending on the teacher, we would either continue deeply absorbed on the topic or the teacher would be aware of other students and cut our time short (even though we barely started talking) so the teacher could accommodate other students.

I guess what im getting at is that it seems that the professors and TAs treated me a little bit differently from other students, not in a bad way. but i guess this just drives my curiosity and i wonder at how i was perceived by them that they treated me this way? is it because maybe i come off as too intimidating or too intense? so they felt that our conversations have to be addressed separately from other students? or what? im really not sure. what i wrote in this paragraph is what my gut feeling is saying. but im not really sure.. even if that were the case, how does it explain when they would be open to otehrs coming into our conversations? and then some classmates have told me later on that i really stood out to them or that they distinctly remembered me (though not the others). im thinking this is a good thing but goddamn, im so curious of how im perceived by others or why my teachers possibly treated me this way??
 

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Perhaps the teachers/TAs were hoping that your serious attitude would rub off on other students.

By the way, I find that stretching and light exercise helps if I'm having trouble falling asleep.
 

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... But then- the thing that i wonder about is why it wasn't the same the other way around? ...
I guess what im getting at is that it seems that the professors and TAs treated me a little bit differently from other students, not in a bad way. but i guess this just drives my curiosity and i wonder at how i was perceived by them that they treated me this way? is it because maybe i come off as too intimidating or too intense? so they felt that our conversations have to be addressed separately from other students? or what? im really not sure.
Yep I feel ya, I often get a perception that people treat me somehow differently than they treat each other. I can't put my finger on it either and also wonder what sort of perception I give off that results in such approach by them.

I work in a group of about 150 people, most of whom I just pass by in hallway once in a while but around 30-50 of these people I get to interact on a more regular and involved basis. And I got this perception that they treat me somehow differently than each other. I can't put my finger on it as to why and of course because we're all on co-worker/professional relations nobody is going to be open with me and tell me why exactly. My assumptions have been that they might feel that I am a bit too random and unpredictable somehow? I usually try to multi-task and switch my attention around easily from one thing to another. May be this is confusing to them? I'm also on the more private side with my personal life, but so do we have other introverts who alike myself are very private people so that can't be it. I also feel like I always have to prove my worth so to say and advertise my abilities, while others are not put into such position.

One of the ENTP guys in this group said that he "admires my intensity" even whereas I had no such perception of myself. I posted about this a while back. I felt that I was behaving quite to the contrary ever since I broke up with my ex 5 months ago. After the break-up I felt down for a few weeks, then I entered some mode where I started to feel like life was a theater, and people go around this theater entertaining themselves and others. I let go of many things. I started constantly seeking out and providing entertainment. I became more impulsive, at times even acting on my newly found introverted feelings. I thought this was my ENFP 'shadow' mode and after all this he tells me I'm intense :/ ... I just don't get it at all >.<
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
zwanglos the funny thing is i remember this old post from back in july about insomnia and not being able to fall asleep. i think you posted on there too. my insomnia is still present.

vel- I read your post and i had this weird feeling because i feel the same way too - i cant quite put my finger on it but i wonder how exactly i am perceived by them that they treat me somehow differently? i know it's not bad now and that it's not because they think badly of me. i used to think it was bad and i would be really insecure, but after the same people helped me get into the program of my dreams, i know then they couldn't have thought badly of me if they went out of their way like that to help me and speak highly of me.

but i know that there is something different in how they treat or perceive me though i don't know why. people have always told me after that i came off as very reserved (but not shy) <- and this is even when I am feeling VERY ENFJ-ish and felt i was being extremely talkative during that period of my life. I have also heard through the grapevine some people talking about me that they just "couldn't figure me out." i don't know why though because i don't make it a point to be "mysterious"- this is so strange for me because i relate so much to others and i kind of just know or feel what they feel, so it's weird when the same people say they don't get me!

i also relate to what you mean by this: "I also feel like I always have to prove my worth so to say and advertise my abilities, while others are not put into such position."
 

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I get this a lot. Either the teachers are almost some very good friends (Creepy eh? Like it's not school) Or that teacher hates me for unknown causes.

Even the teachers I don't like I usually get along with on friendly terms. I can't help it. But there has been a couple teachers that picked on me.

I think they can be friendly with me and not have to think of me as some immature kid because I'm exactly the opposite, intense and very mature for my age. But when it comes to the people that goof off and are just horrible, they treat them like regular students. Which, makes me seem like a "Teachers Pet" When they like me because I actually am serious which is a good change compared to every one else.

From my experiences and observations, INFJ's (not all) seem very mature and serious, even with an immature side that keeps them from being stiff.
 

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Definitely. I was very mature compared to all my peers. The sad thing was that I was actually immature compared to how I should have acted. INFJ's tend to judge themselves harshly (and for good reason).
 
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