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Discussion Starter #1
Is this a common issue amongst INFJ's (I suspect it is)?


We feel as though we had been so accommodating and giving to people when they needed us..That although we don't want to get hypocritical about it and we want to be better in spite of our flaws, somewhere deep deep deep deep deep deep deep down inside/at the back of our minds --we secretly harbor volcanic-like anger/resentment that might outpour if provoked, over the fact that we don't feel appreciated enough?

It's like that for me and in my relation to my Fe at times.
 

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I don't know i don't really do anything for anybody. Not tha tI don't want to it is just that life is different in the real world than on a type logic page. I don't go around saving everyone from themselves. i just live my life. I don't feel resentment because I am the way I am?
 

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EDIT: Thank you for starting a Thread for us INFJs to share feelings on about serious issues. I feel I shouldn't say more about the friendship gone wrong, thus I removed this post. Though I felt better getting it out.
 

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Oh my goodness, I know what you are talking about. What's worse is that I usually go into a friendship (or relationship) so excited because it's so rare that I seem to click with people, and before I know it my boundaries are being stepped all over and I grow resentful.

I get really mad at my friends when they don't realize how much I do for them, and basically take me for granted. I used to have a creative partnership with a friend that only ended in shambles- she ended up pegging me as the "organized, get-thing-done" person between the two of us, so while she was able to spend her free time doing anything she wanted, I was stuck with the brunt work of sending and keeping up with countless emails, revising our scripts to her liking, and compromising some of my key artistic visions. In case you were wondering, all of this drama was so that we could put on sketch comedy shows together at a theater we worked at, proving that even the most fun work can be made into hell when you're the one stuck doing all of the hard work to get it made.

We're still in the same improv troupe, though, but now our relationship is far more...professional. That is, until she says something heartless again (she makes stabs at me for being a self-professed "hippie", always saving her "hummus" jokes for when we're on stage). But she is an ENTJ so that can be expected :tongue:
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Ooh admittedly I haven't read into the link, CynicallyNaive. Don't worry though, I'm not one of those who think MBTI answers most things.. :) If you think you're INFP, then you know yourself better than others.

As for me, the pattern I just realized that I overused my Fe in the past towards people who took advantage of me - was one of the things that brought me to the conclusion that I'm more INFJ.
 

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Is this a common issue amongst INFJ's (I suspect it is)?


We feel as though we had been so accommodating and giving to people when they needed us..That although we don't want to get hypocritical about it and we want to be better in spite of our flaws, somewhere deep deep deep deep deep deep deep down inside/at the back of our minds --we secretly harbor volcanic-like anger/resentment that might outpour if provoked, over the fact that we don't feel appreciated enough?

It's like that for me and in my relation to my Fe at times.
Absolutely 100%. Guess it's good we can control our emotions so well, almost like Vulcans :p
 

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YES. But I never bring it up or complain about it because that would just unleash a shit load of repressed things; it would seem to come out of nowhere and people wouldn't understand that. And I don't like nagging about my feelings in general.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
YES. But I never bring it up or complain about it because that would just unleash a shit load of repressed things; it would seem to come out of nowhere and people wouldn't understand that. And I don't like nagging about my feelings in general.
Yes when I unleash it, I hate it when I'm being misunderstood.

I especially hate it when people talk to me like I'm a broken child that didn't analyze my emotions when I do analyze my Fe, I just struggle with it. Makes me want to slap them for being stupid.
 

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I resent being a total B**** to those who didn't deserve it. I resent a lot of things. Too many to list. I resent so many things it is almost self-hatred.
 

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Many things cause me to feel this rage. I have been in a situation, once, where I felt like I was taken for granted in a major way. I responded with overwhelming anger after his behaviour didn't change even after I had pointed it out to him. He knew he was wrong even before I brought it up to him, but he was too much of an asshole to respond to calmness. Bringing it up once should have been enough. I don't like repeating myself. It's interesting how bringing it up reasonably didn't help, but a volcanic eruption of rage worked immediately. I love this rage that fuels my battles and drives.

I do resent injustices very strongly, to say the least. I also resent people who invade my space and demand constant emotional attention, who cling to me etc. Please.
 

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Sometimes this forum makes me think I might be INFJ rather than INFP (since this seems to revolve around the whole Fi versus Fe thing, even though as stated above I don't think that's well-supported theory). But nothing else about my personality would support a J diagnosis.

What do you call an INFP with strong Fe?
 

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i resent alot of things, i resent that i hate hypocricy but everything about me conflicts in turn, i resent that fact that i feel the guilt of the worlds crimes and nobody understand that but its not worth the trouble of exploding, i just hold onto the pain ^^
 

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Yes. Once a mate of mine gave me a real poke by mouthing off and calling me a liar so I had a go at him. It was all out of the frustration that I'd done so much for him and gotten so little in return.
 

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nope type 1 with 2 wing
 

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Ah, yes, I've gotten into these places before when I've felt like I was being taken for granted, or that I was the one doing all the giving while the other person was doing all the taking and never saying "Thank you."

I get very resentful of people who don't appreciate what they have while they have it. Spouses, siblings, friends, whatever.
 

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I'm sort of an odd case. And I'm definitely way more highly intuitive than sensing, so mm. If I resent something, it's likely that I'll think about it a lot, and it may be for reasons that aren't monumental. It usually has to do with people's habits which continue to be detrimental to them, to me, or to us in some way. It's easier to feel resentment if the other person is unwilling to change or sees no need after I've brought it up.

I DO have high expectations of others, but I'm more focused on fairness than anything. I'm a Libra. :tongue: When I feel as if my diplomacy is constantly being taken advantage of and unappreciated, I tend to get sour.

On the other hand, if someone takes advantage of it but appreciates it and is trying to learn from it and I SEE that, I'm okay. And if someone doesn't show appreciation but also never takes advantage of it, then I'm also okay.
 
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