My boyfriend and I are an unlikely match (he is an istj and i am an infp). We have been together for almost a year and overall things are excellent, but i have noticed during arguements it feels like we are speaking two different languages. I am the messy creative one and he is the organized planner. I have gotten much better through the years, but it is still difficult for me to not take a personal angle in something he says. To give an example, he felt like he was giving more in the relationship and that i don't do thoughtful little things for him. When i went through a list of things i had done and continue to do, he didn't seem satisfied. I asked what types of things would make him feel more appreciated. He got frustrated and said he shouldn't have to tell me what to do. I completely get that, but it still hurt my feelings because that is the last thing I ever intended for him to feel. So basically, when he said this, I felt disappointment in myself that i had failed to show him appreciation, but also frustrated that he didn't seem to appreciate or notice my thoughtful gestures meant for that purpose. I guess we have different ways we show love and affection, therefore expect the same types of things back in order to feel loved and appreciated. I've noticed that the longer him and i have been together the easier it is to relate to one another and see each others point of view, but we are no where near perfect. I am curious if there are any other istj/infp matches who want to share their pearls of wisdom on how we could improve our relationship??