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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Im only 21 so maybe I haven't experienced enough of the world to figure this out or I'm simply naive. Why do people either ignore suffering or laugh at it ?

Growing up it was common to see my peers laugh at the homeless, the small kid that got bullied was laughed at by the whole class as if the perpetrators were comedian putting on a show for the rest of the class. I thought university would be different but I still see the same worrying patterns of people enjoying or ignoring the suffering of others, laughing at people who may just need a bit of help. We volunteer or give money to charities are appalled by things we read or see on the news but when suffering is right in front of us my reactions and the reactions of others i've observed makes me very disappointed, I try not to think about it.:unsure:
 

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If it is any hope for you, the behavior of people in college was a lot different for me than in high school, so maybe your experience in college is anomalous. I think children and younger people express the human inclinations that are more innate and natural, which is to hate those outside their own respective clan. In our developed adult society, the hatred remains but the expression is generally less and the "clan" is often more inclusive.
 

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I think that when we're being schooled (in school, that is), we're taught to always obey authority, etc. At the same time, school doesn't give about bullying or harassment from children, and we are shooed or ignored if we point it out, object, or complain, which is one of the basic human rights (that nobody cares about because it's 'normal' and "that's life") gone out the window.

I think that just teaches us that if we see someone make fun of or laugh at a suffering thing (be it human, any other creature with a soul, or even objects) we should shut up and not say anything because 1. it's 'normal'/"that's life", 2. you can't change it, 3. nobody will listen to you, 4. you will appear stupid and be worthless if you say anything, because only insane people go against the norm, even if it's wrong.

I think all we need is the courage to speak up against it. I also think that once we cross that "you're insane" border we won't care what people say anymore.

It's really sad, I agree :unsure: but we need to stand up against it, and promote love and compassion, God help us!
 

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@RandomNote: No offense, I don't mean to reply to you personally but :tongue: nothing is really "just how it is", I used to say that too just because people told me the same. That phrase is just a way to tell us to stand down because "resistance is futile", and if you ask anyone "why" they wouldn't be able to say why, they'd just say it again: "it's just how it is".

But in reality, nothing is "just how it is". Things are what and how we shape them to be :happy:
 

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... same reason we feel catharsis over a tragedy. The desolate are a refection of our possible selves. We laugh at the discomfort of finding ourselves doomed to a similar fate. We laugh because others may view us as being wretched. This notion also fuels our needs to conform to fashionable trends, spend money on our vanities, etc.

I do feel like a hypocrite in saying this; there are some people who deserve ridicule as they cultivate their misery at the expense of others. And, I see nothing wrong with taking pleasure in the material. I enjoy being fit and wearing nice clothing and I feel this is important to a person's dignity. Of course, within reason.
 

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@RandomNote: No offense, I don't mean to reply to you personally but :tongue: nothing is really "just how it is", I used to say that too just because people told me the same. That phrase is just a way to tell us to stand down because "resistance is futile", and if you ask anyone "why" they wouldn't be able to say why, they'd just say it again: "it's just how it is".

But in reality, nothing is "just how it is". Things are what and how we shape them to be :happy:
None taken i just said that cause i didnt feel like giving a full explanation as to why.
 

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Those who are blind to the suffering are yet to have suffered themselves.

A lot of people in question who make fun of/laugh at misfortune or condemn the weak have their egos so far up their rear end that they are quite blind to how much of a sad excuse for a human being they really are.

They have this funny misconception that just because they make a monthly donation to a charity that it makes them decent human beings. They are in fact worse than the scum because at least the scum have the balls to come right out and say it.

They also take pleasure in the misfortune of others because it makes them feel powerful. In the sense that they see themselves as model human beings and anyone else who doesn't follow in their footsteps is regarded as inferior and thus regarding them as such makes them feel superior.

A lot of people who do see the injustices of all this are afraid to make a stand for fear of alienation or ridicule of the same nature.
Ultimately if enough people do make a stand there will be no more room for it anymore.
 

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many people are strong Fi users. if it does not affect them, they don't really care.

most people are mindless sheep who follow the norms and never look around to notice this fascinating world we live in.

Add the two percentages together, combine with immaturity, and you have covered 99.9 percent of all people under the age of about 25.

By the age of 45, the percentage has shrunk to 99.0 percent.

Take pride in your caring. Build good personal boundaries so you can maintain your sanity, and realize you CAN make a difference.
 

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Im only 21 so maybe I haven't experienced enough of the world to figure this out or I'm simply naive. Why do people either ignore suffering or laugh at it ?

Growing up it was common to see my peers laugh at the homeless, the small kid that got bullied was laughed at by the whole class as if the perpetrators were comedian putting on a show for the rest of the class. I thought university would be different but I still see the same worrying patterns of people enjoying or ignoring the suffering of others, laughing at people who may just need a bit of help. We volunteer or give money to charities are appalled by things we read or see on the news but when suffering is right in front of us my reactions and the reactions of others i've observed makes me very disappointed, I try not to think about it.:unsure:
I agree entirely and sadly I would say it only hides better with age. I find it is still present just below the surface. Schadenfreude. Delight in the suffering of others. I think the enneagram 3 cultures and enneagram 6 cultures express this the most. It stems from the competition drive in the Type 3. And thus the stressed Type 6 expression. The desire to win. To have an image of success and distance oneself from failure, to be admired.

In truth, like many issues with Type 3 this is self-deception. Competition itself is a virtue ONLY if there is a union of exultation. Like mankind as a whole celebrating that we put a man on the moon. It's easy to feel in such grandiose settings and situations. Not so easy to keep perspective when its a footrace or a rivalry to get a promotion at work. If competition results in separation, it is usually destructive and dark. Schadenfreude.

Rather than an exultation of success, it is a grim delight in others suffering, as if they were separate. This illusion of the other not belonging, of being separate from the universe and your fellow human beings, all life, everything, is evil. It causes and perpetuates evil. Immaturity. The two often seem synonymous to me. Competition and the inequality it creates and fosters gets turned from a virtue into a vice, and it's the number 1 vice tearing our world apart today in my opinion.

It is good to hear that others notice and ponder such things like I do. Continue to ask that question, to wonder where in the world is peoples - Compassion for Others.
 

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Stand up against it, people will start following you one by one if they believe similarly. The reason they're not saying things is because they don't feel safe standing alone.

It sounds like corny advice, but the Asch conformity experiment supports this.

The Asch Experiment - Understanding Conformity in Groups
 

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I've come to accept some people are just unyielding dicks and I disassociate myself with them.
There are plenty. There always have been and always will be.
The trick is learning to avoid them and building your circle out of the other kind of people.
 

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Because when it's personal it means you have to see how you yourself are partially responsible for society being the way it is.

People don't want to do that. People don't like taking responsibility.
 

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I remember one particular situation that happened some years ago. I went to catch a tram, and I noticed a guy sitting on the rails, trying to get up. So did everyone at the station. Now, that guy was obviously drunk, looked a total mess, had pissed himself and what else. Still, we're talking about a human being here that might be run over in a few minutes. No one moved, but everyone stared whilst I tried to get that guy off the rails. I'm totally aware that some might have thought they don't want to "risk their own lives", but come on!

So they see my struggling with him (yes, he was totally out if it), and I just lost the plot. I angrily pointed at two guys and said: "You and you, could you just help me out here instead of staring?" One did, the other didn't, but another took his place instead without my asking.
So we got that guy off the rails, and another person finally phoned an ambulance.

And I'm totally aware that some people think these people are the scum of the earth, but I just didn't get it, and I still don't, how the basic rules of humanity mean nothing to some...
 

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It's great that you seem to enjoy helping others. But it doesn't necessarily make those who don't help the needy and misforunate bad people. I am not invested in other people's lives. Especially the misforunate ones like the homeless. If I see someone in pain, chronic pain than I wil call 9-11. I don't like to get involved with people's problems per se. It's simply of no interest to me. I don't like charities and I don't not support them. I am highly skeptical about most charities anyway. I don't know. But I see where you are coming from. Just know that a lot of people aren't necessarily bad for not caring.
 

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Shock and confusion, has at times made me unsure how to respond rather than the desire for apathy instead of the typical 'bystander effect' seen by others.. I just hate the idea of imposing my values on others when at times 'the aided' can respond badly.
 

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One could assume I enjoy helping others because of my line of work, but that's totally different. I actually don't particularly "enjoy" helping others, especially not if I don't feel a personal connection. I don't support charities with money (I actually have a very personal opinion about that I'll better keep to myself).

What I didn't get in that particular situation however was that there was a human being obviously at risk of losing their life if things had gone awry, and all it took was one minute to change that. I really don't understand how one can not act in that situation, and yes, I really do think it's compassion that made me act. Or maybe sympathy or even empathy, don't know. Even if I'm not a homeless drunk, it could have been me: I could have fallen over and tripped, maybe hurt myself in a way that made it impossible to get up. Some people might have wrongly mistaken that for being drunk, who knows? Is that a reason to watch someone get hurt when it's really not a massive effort to make a difference?

I'm far from imposing my values on others, but the mere fact that if you just ask people to help, they all of a sudden do so is a bit of a strange one. Well, not really ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
... same reason we feel catharsis over a tragedy. The desolate are a refection of our possible selves. We laugh at the discomfort of finding ourselves doomed to a similar fate. We laugh because others may view us as being wretched. This notion also fuels our needs to conform to fashionable trends, spend money on our vanities, etc.

I do feel like a hypocrite in saying this; there are some people who deserve ridicule as they cultivate their misery at the expense of others. And, I see nothing wrong with taking pleasure in the material. I enjoy being fit and wearing nice clothing and I feel this is important to a person's dignity. Of course, within reason.
I think this may strike at the core of the issue especially when it comes to laughing and ignoring people but I find it very mysterious and troubling when I witness this aspect of humanity in action. There is nothing wrong in the material at all in my book also.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Those who are blind to the suffering are yet to have suffered themselves.

A lot of people in question who make fun of/laugh at misfortune or condemn the weak have their egos so far up their rear end that they are quite blind to how much of a sad excuse for a human being they really are.

They have this funny misconception that just because they make a monthly donation to a charity that it makes them decent human beings. They are in fact worse than the scum because at least the scum have the balls to come right out and say it.

They also take pleasure in the misfortune of others because it makes them feel powerful. In the sense that they see themselves as model human beings and anyone else who doesn't follow in their footsteps is regarded as inferior and thus regarding them as such makes them feel superior.

A lot of people who do see the injustices of all this are afraid to make a stand for fear of alienation or ridicule of the same nature.
Ultimately if enough people do make a stand there will be no more room for it anymore.
Maybe this is true I had a friend who was a bully throughout out all of high school. We grew apart because he was starting to become out of control verbal bullying was turning into physical bullying and I had to disassociate from him which was hard we've known each other our whole lives, then suddenly his dad and grandma died within a year. He became very meek and humble all of a sudden still loud and dominating but with no intention to harm and apologized to people who he had hurt.

Another thing is that I find it difficult to consider a person bad because they are very egotistical or laugh and bully others. I've seen this as a dominant trait in some as it was in my friend almost a compulsion, and I've seen subtle glimpses on reflection in others and myself. I think it's more a lack of awareness than being bad.

I think some charities are important for such as cancer research, other types of charities conceal more foundational structural issues that need to be addressed in my opinion.
 

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What is compassion? How does one practice compassion? What does it feel like to be compassionate? Who needs compassion? Who benefits from compassion?
 
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