Personality Cafe banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

Registered
Joined
41 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi y'all, as an sp/sx with a lot of so/sx, I seem to run into a whole lot of social problems ! It's coherent with the theory enounced by ... I don't know who, really.

Anyway, according to this theory, the most incompatible stackings would be if you'd switch the dom function and blind function while keeping the second firmly in place, eg :

- So/sx v. Sp/sx

- Sx/so v. Sp/so.

- So/sp v. Sx/sp.

Do you find this theory valid ? If so, how did it show in your interactions and what kind of troubles do you run into ? Have you found the instinctual incompatibility more crucial that an enneagram or MBTI incompatibility ?

Feel free to answer any or all of those questions and to share your thoughts and experiences. 馃檭
 

Registered
Joined
421 Posts
@YvonneZemski
As an so/sp with stronger Sp,
  • i am most compatible with Sx-seconds
  • i don't have much experience with Sx/So's, but Sx-firsts in general tend to be too intense for me. I mean, I wish I could keep up, but they kind of make me want to hide away
  • sx-blinds are super easy to get along with but depending on the individual it is too boring for me
  • i get along least with
    • so/sp: less a question of "chemistry" more a question of personal like/dislike. i seem to inherently not-like fellow so/sp's idk why
    • sx/sp: they are too intense for me and they probably find me boring
  • i tend to admire sx/so's from afar, but i don't have any closer experience with them
  • I think I would be most compatible with so/sx or sx/so, if the latter's sx is not too strong. sp/sx is also good for friendship but I'm not sure if it would pan out as well romantically because I think the lack of So would come to be a bother for me.
I have found that the most important typology-related factors that determine compatibility are instinctual variants and socionics type. Enneagram to a lesser extent. MBTI meh.

I think the theory u stated above generally holds true, but a bit less so for so/sx and sp/sx. because i've seen them get along great in friendship (idk romantically), but Sx-dom and Sx-blind have a bigger gap when it comes to a relationship, because of the nature of Sx.
 

Registered
Joined
1,737 Posts
Anyway, according to this theory, the most incompatible stackings would be if you'd switch the dom function and blind function while keeping the second firmly in place, eg :

- So/sx v. Sp/sx

- Sx/so v. Sp/so.

- So/sp v. Sx/sp.
I find a better way to think about what you said above is to see the difficulty when one person's dominant instinct is their partner's blind instinct, eg:

so/sp v. sx/sp because the so/sp is seeking the social instinct while the sx/sp is avoiding or discounting the social instinct. Likewise the sx/sp is seeking the sexual instinct while the so/sp is avoiding or discounting the sexual instinct. This not only means that the so/sx would have that difficulty with sx/sp but also sp/sx.

It should also be noted that there's a synergy possible with the combination. Each partner could help with issues related to the other partner's blind instinct (e.g., so/sp could help with sx/sp social instinct issues and sx/sp could help with so/sp sexual instinct issues).

It's not so much about incompatibility. It's simply a different dynamic that would have to be dealt with. Two people with sx/sp might have an immediate understanding of each other's preferences and compatibility in that regard but they would also both have difficulty dealing with any social instinct issues.
 

Registered
Joined
2,091 Posts
I've actually read that that's one of the most compatible combinations. Where one partner has stackings 1/2/3 and the other has 3/2/1. i.e. opposite order.

IMO your last instinct is not something you "dislike" or want to avoid in some way. Rather, it's something you want or need, but you tend to deprioritize it compared to your first and second instincts. Most of your energy and focus is spent on your first instinct, most of the rest on the second, and almost none on the third. At least in one theory, having a partner whose energy and focus is opposite yours (in this manner) is complementary, not conflicting.

Personally, I'm SP/SX with a weak SX instinct. I think about SP stuff enough for two people, but I neglect SO stuff a lot. So I think I would appreciate a partner who thinks about SO stuff enough for both of us. And with both of us being SX-second, we can share energy and focus on SX stuff.

I used to type as SP/SO and every once in a while, I still reconsider it. My SX instinct is pretty weak. But pretty sure the SO is somehow weaker.
 
  • Like
Reactions: YvonneZemski

Registered
ENTP 3w4 so/sx
Joined
2,856 Posts
Hi y'all, as an sp/sx with a lot of so/sx, I seem to run into a whole lot of social problems ! It's coherent with the theory enounced by ... I don't know who, really.

Anyway, according to this theory, the most incompatible stackings would be if you'd switch the dom function and blind function while keeping the second firmly in place, eg :

- So/sx v. Sp/sx

- Sx/so v. Sp/so.

- So/sp v. Sx/sp.

Do you find this theory valid ? If so, how did it show in your interactions and what kind of troubles do you run into ? Have you found the instinctual incompatibility more crucial that an enneagram or MBTI incompatibility ?

Feel free to answer any or all of those questions and to share your thoughts and experiences. 馃檭
I would agree with that. I definitely see issues with those with strong sx instincts and those with weak sx instincts. They have very different requirements for relationships. I'm dating another so/sx right now and we match well with regards to intimacy and interactions with others. I'd think sp/sx would be the most difficult for me since more closed off to society.
 

MOTM Nov 2012
Joined
3,826 Posts
I'm so/sx and my partner is sp/sx, I'd be curious about what is meant with incompatibility. His complete lack of interest in So dominant things causes reactions anywhere from amusement to annoyance for me and my lack of interest in Sp dominant things seems to range from perplexing him to causing envy, but I don't believe it has anything other than a surface level impact.

I find the combination of Enneagram and instincts important ie; So 1s frustrate the hell out of me even when I like them, Sp 2s are the easiest for me to gel with because their "needy" is more selfish than smothering, Sx 4s can be too much for me etc.
 
  • Like
Reactions: YvonneZemski

Registered
Joined
41 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
I'm so/sx and my partner is sp/sx, I'd be curious about what is meant with incompatibility. His complete lack of interest in So dominant things causes reactions anywhere from amusement to annoyance for me and my lack of interest in Sp dominant things seems to range from perplexing him to causing envy, but I don't believe it has anything other than a surface level impact.

I find the combination of Enneagram and instincts important ie; So 1s frustrate the hell out of me even when I like them, Sp 2s are the easiest for me to gel with because their "needy" is more selfish than smothering, Sx 4s can be too much for me etc.
Thanks for your answer ! I share your view on the combination of enneagram and instincts coloring the personality in a vastly different way. Also the MBTI type. I find introverted 2 adorable because there's a natural counterbalance at play.

(To answer your curiosity) : the incompatibility seems to arise when one or the other of the parties indulge too much in his dominant instinct, in a neurotic manner. Such as : a So worrying irrationnally about his social status or a Sp about his career/health. It takes the form of a lack of patience/regard for each other's deeper worries.

I've been in 2 relationships with So/sx as a Sp/sx and it played out ... Pretty much exactly like you said. In a romantic relationship, the possibility to connect over our shared sx helped (I guess?).

In friendships, I find it trickier. My So/sx friends sometimes show a desire to educate me on what being friends entail and mean. Most of the times, it's positive ("you know you can count on your friends). However, some of their demands are harder for me to fulfill.

They're also a dimension of sophistication with So/sx : I always think that my So/sx friends come from a higher social class that they really do because of them navigating charmingly within a social setting. I always joke that entering a So/sx group is like stepping into a rehearsal of Downtown Abbey : it's classy, it's sexy, it's funny ... Annnnnd I'm going to wreak havoc at some point because no one gave me the script !
 

Registered
Joined
41 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
I've actually read that that's one of the most compatible combinations. Where one partner has stackings 1/2/3 and the other has 3/2/1. i.e. opposite order.

IMO your last instinct is not something you "dislike" or want to avoid in some way. Rather, it's something you want or need, but you tend to deprioritize it compared to your first and second instincts. Most of your energy and focus is spent on your first instinct, most of the rest on the second, and almost none on the third. At least in one theory, having a partner whose energy and focus is opposite yours (in this manner) is complementary, not conflicting.

Personally, I'm SP/SX with a weak SX instinct. I think about SP stuff enough for two people, but I neglect SO stuff a lot. So I think I would appreciate a partner who thinks about SO stuff enough for both of us. And with both of us being SX-second, we can share energy and focus on SX stuff.

I used to type as SP/SO and every once in a while, I still reconsider it. My SX instinct is pretty weak. But pretty sure the SO is somehow weaker.
i agree to the complementarity but I still have problems to stay tuned to conversations revolving around So-matters. I just forget all informations pertaining to that sphere in a split-second ....
 

Registered
Joined
2,091 Posts
i agree to the complementarity but I still have problems to stay tuned to conversations revolving around So-matters. I just forget all informations pertaining to that sphere in a split-second ....
I'm very similar, honestly. That's part of why I prefer someone else to take care of SO matters - someone whose focus is already on that area. And such people also tend to be interested in and retain the relevant information.
 
  • Like
Reactions: YvonneZemski
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top