[deflowering]

INFJ 5w4 here. I have this repetitive thinking patterns that lead to massive concentration problems. I mean, I can do stuff but for example I am almost unable to read books and stuff like that. It's reallly annoying. Thinking back, I defenitely was depressed for years until a few months ago. I don't know why it stopped. I think I was depressed because of my loneliness. But nothing changed, I'm still, like many INFJs kind of psychologically seperated from others. I think I'm trapped in this Ni-Ti thinking loop and I just can't get out because noone I told it had such experiences. Did any of you have this problem or do you have it right now? Please tell me I'm not alone with that.

 

[Sedem]

The way I deal with it is to get outside myself whenever possible. I talk with people, I go places, I DO things. You can't be stuck in your head when you put yourself around things that pull you out.

The world is bigger than what is in one human's head. Put new information into that head, and it has a good chance of not staying on its well-practiced paths.

But it takes time, and perhaps there are other ways better than mine.

 

[Copper North]

During a stressful period (like something at work), I'll be working on something and find myself thinking about work again.

I'll be falling asleep, and find myself doing it again.

It's almost like one of those songs (that you usually don't really like) that gets stuck in your head for hours [insert favourite Culture Club song here].

Fresh air, a drive, or a short walk help the most, but if you're trying to sleep at 2:45am, the great outdoors isn't too much help.
What I usually do then, is distract myself from the thought-loop that I'm in by concentrating on something else in such detail that I'd fall asleep almost every time.
I'll often think my way into my Grandma's house, the sounds, kitchen scents, where everything was in the house, etc., and just stay there for 20 minutes.

That kind of distraction works for me most of the time, as long as I'm not loaded up on caffeine and sugar. :frustrating:

 

[FearAndTrembling]

I am like that too. My mind is focused on what it wants to focus on. Paying attention is like lifting something. It is exertion. It takes effort. It also takes me a long time to watch TV. I'll watch a 60 minute show in 3 sections of 20 minutes.

 

[Zelda]

Yes all the time. I'll find myself re-reading frequently because my eyes read it but my mind was elsewhere lost in 10000 thoughts. Same with watching any movie/tv show. It could be extremely entertaining/edge of your seat type but I'll have to rewind because something made my mind wander and completely space out thinking my own thoughts instead of paying attention. At work I'm on auto pilot, end up double-checking my work a lot of time because I'm too busy lost in my head to focus on what I'm doing. I don't have a suggestion for how to stop it. Even getting out about and doing things/being around friends I still end up lost in my head. Maybe it's more interesting in there? Is it really such a bad thing? People say oh you need to live in the moment and be fully engaged blah blah.... yeah sometimes that's nice. But when you have such an active imagination, abstract, interesting way of viewing the world, why not harness that power?

 

[Lemxn]

I'll watch a 60 minute show in 3 sections of 20 minutes.

I have the same fucking problem. I can't even count all the time I pause a tv show or a movie because I lost concentration.

Putting so much attention on something drains me totally, it's a very hard job for me and most of the time I just fail. I am not reading any book currently because of the same problem, I just can't focus and if I do, it's only for a short time.

I do have so many things in my mind, but I don't think it's because of that. I have been like this since I am a kid, I just can't concentrate and that's all.

 

[Goodsir]

Yep, I have this problem too. I have problems concentrating on schoolwork especially. It's a bit worse for me though because since I'm a 6w5, I beat myself up for it too. And then that could lead to something worse like a panic attack because my thoughts spring all of these horribly cynical ideas on me. I have noticed, though, that I don't have that lack of concentration when it comes to books/movies/shows. Usually I can become immersed in their worlds, which is what I look for in things like that. The only time I'm not really concentrating on things like that is when I actually don't like the book/movie/show, so it usually has to do with doing things that I don't like but still feel like I'm obligated to do (I always feel obligated to finish a book or film even if I don't like it at all), like schoolwork. But even so, I had problems getting through this thread and typing this post tbh :laughing:

 

[Dayzi]

Currently I have this bad attention span where I cant stand long hours watching tv. The most it would be 10 minutes and then I would probably get restless and moving on to other things. Moreover, pausing all my readings because it seems that I just dont have the same concentration as before.

 

[Hanne]

Oh yes, my mind has a mind of its own, and sometimes there is no controlling what it wants to do.
Sometimes that's good, because what it wants to do and what i need are the same and what i can get done in a short amount of time is crazy. And sometimes.... meh.

In terms of concentrating, I've discovered the famous Pomodoro technique works for me. 25min or doing nothing else but this. Whatever pops up, i can just say 'after'. It takes about 10min to go into the zone and then i'm usually surprised when the thing goes off to say that the 25min are passed.


But the OP's question is somewhat different: when you're trapped in Ni-Ti you need to get out. It's not healthy for us to stay too long in our own minds. You need to activate Fe or Se to get out.

I usually go for a long hike and try to really focus on my surroundings. No automatic pilot walking while pondering something, but looking at clouds, feeling the wind in your hair and the sun/rain on your face, touching a tree, looking at flowers, houses ... That helps me tremendously to calm down. It takes some effort, but the payback is tremendous.

Then, meet people. Go for a coffee with colleagues, meet friends.

When it's really bad, I make sure i have something to do every evening. Nothing noisy/crowdy, but dinner with friend x on monday, tuesday drinks with my brother, wednesday my niece comes over... Not even to talk about problems or whats going on in your mind but just to connect to people. Slowly you'll get out of it

 

[devsmess]

I have this problem to the extent I thought I had a real problem...
Actually, I still might, but I digress...

The Ni-Ti loop sucks, but all the suggestions above are good. I would suggest:

- Stay away from caffeine. If I have two cups, I will not be able to concentrate on anything. At work, this has killed me. It was almost to the point of just needing to go home. I can't even stare at a screen and see what's on the screen. Bad, bad...

- Exercise your Se, but do it cautiously. If possible, the hike idea or even a walk outside is a superb idea. It forces you to pay attention to your surroundings (especially on a hike.) But make sure you stay away from the bad side of Se. This part will suck me in very fast if I'm not careful. Smoking, drinking, spending, etc. Ah, Se..........

- Be with another person who can give you stimulus. Now before you go OMGOMGOMG, yes, it can be that kind of stimulus or hell, have them sing you a song or play with your hair or play a video game with you. You can tell a friend you're trapped in your own head and just need a silent companion. Oh, I freakin' love silent companionship. So wonderful...

-And what @Hanne said. Planning something to do when it's getting bad is so key. Taking a day off of work to be ALONE, with NO PEOPLE... for me, that would be suicide. It seems like a rational thing, right? We need to fix things on the inside before we can present ourselves to the world, but that is the danger when we're stuck in that loop. *shudders*


Good luck!

(Also- apologies if I sound so damn preachy today. I hate when I sound like that, but on some days it comes stampeding out like a self-righteous herd of rams. I can't freakin' stop it...)